7 Unconventional Things We Do in Our Marriage ♥

7 Unconventional Things We Do in Our Marriage | Not Dressed As Lamb

It may be Valentine’s Day today, but this ain’t no mushy ode to my beloved.

No Valentine’s gifts guides here either (I’d have left it a bit late anyway). Nor am I featuring a Valentine’s Day outfit in red and pink with a heart or lips print dress.

No – today I thought I’d share something a bit different for this week’s #ShareAllLinkUp and this day of love. I thought I’d talk about some of the unconventional things Keith and I do in our marriage (no, not THOSE things…!!) seeing as neither of us believe in Valentine’s Day.

Does one “believe” in Valentine’s Day? Is that how you describe it… maybe I should have put “neither of us CELEBRATES Valentine’s Day”?!

English grammar aside(!), we do find ourselves still not celebrating VT-Day after 18 years together – and we never did. I’m not sure why; maybe it was the fact that we knew so strongly that we were meant to be that we were comfortable enough to just throw convention out the window. Maybe we didn’t want to be “forced” into celebrating our love on a day that was dictated to us by the media and greetings cards companies. (I don’t envy anyone starting a relationship in today’s social media-obsessed world.)

Here’s a caveat though: I’m most certainly NOT about to chastise anyone for being a VT-Day fan… this post is about the things WE do that some may find unconventional; I bet there are an AWFUL lot of very conventional aspects of our relationship too! As long as you BOTH love doing the whole chocolates and roses shebang on 14 February every year then I couldn’t be happier for you!! 

 

A (very) brief history of our relationship

Much of our relationship has been reasonably unconventional:

I was still married to my first husband (but separated) when we started seeing each other – we’d been not-close (work) friends for a little while.

Soon after, I moved to Devon (leaving Keith in London) and we continued our still-new relationship long distance for nearly a year.

We had our honeymoon three years after we got married.

We eventually realised neither of us wanted children despite assuming at the beginning we would.

We have the same taste in movies, interiors, friends, music, clothing styles, cars, hobbies (with only a few exceptions in each area, namely my dislike of R.E.M. and his hostility towards musicals).

I’d like to think Keith and I don’t cramp each other’s styles. We mostly do as we please and go where we want to go whilst still respecting the other person and their wishes – if one of us wants to do something then rarely (in fact I can’t think of an actual occasion so I really should say never) does the other one say no.

But here are 7 unconventional things we do in our marriage that we find many/most/a lot of other people don’t do…

 

1. We don’t ‘do’ Valentine’s Day

So as I mentioned, we don’t do a single thing for Valentine’s Day, never have. In fact I would never have known it was Valentine’s Day if it weren’t for the hearts splashed across my Instagram feed and Inbox filled with messages of love.

To be honest it’s NEVER appealed to me. I’m often on a health kick (or trying to be at least) after Christmas so I don’t want chocolates. And I’m not a red roses fan. In other people’s houses, yes, but I’ve never liked the sort of decor where they’d look good. Buy me peach roses on any other day of the year and I’m putty in your hands.

Is it because we like to simply go against the grain and do the opposite of what everyone else is doing? Seeing as I had a propensity for doing exactly that when I was younger, then maybe yes. And Keith’s the type of person that was probably only too glad that his new girlfriend, back in 2001, said that she’s not a fan of the whole Valentine’s Day thing. So that was that… both happy to ignore it!

 

2. We don’t do jealousy either

This is something I find in a lot of relationships (maybe more so in younger relationships): jealousy. I have NEVER been a jealous person. I’m friends with many of my exes, and I’ve even been friends with an ex’s new girlfriend (and then wife). I’ve had 100% amicable breakups (nothing acrimonious, at least) so found it easy to accept that we were both moving on.

And neither is Keith jealous. He’s often described as being so laid back he’s horizontal.

I couldn’t bear to be the sort of person that gets worked up or will interrogate him when he mentions a girl at work. He greets Riley with a huge hug and kiss every evening when he gets in from work before I even get a look in (or sometimes a hello), so jealousy would be a total waste of my time.

RELATED  6 Not Dressed As Lamb Alter-Egos | My 8th Blogiversary #iwillwearwhatilike

I’ve never had a relationship with a jealous person and I’m glad, because it’s something I wouldn’t tolerate for a second. I know some couples LIKE their other half to be a little jealous occasionally, but not me!

 

7 Unconventional Things We Do in Our Marriage | Not Dressed As Lamb

3. We didn’t have a conventional wedding (or marriage proposal)

I wore trousers. We stayed at a friend’s house the night before and travelled to the register office on the tube. I did my own hair and makeup.

We didn’t have a cake, or a car, or a bouquet, or a photographer, or bridesmaids, or speeches. We spent the first day of our marriage in the museums of South Kensington playing on the interactive attractions with our families (the ONLY way you’ll get me on a roller coaster is when it’s a simulator).

Pretty much everything about our wedding, aside from saying our vows while skydiving or something equally nuts, was unconventional – or simply omitted. We had only six weeks between proposal and wedding day so doing away with all the stuff we felt we “needed” to have was a huge weight off our shoulders.

And as for the proposal: I proposed to Keith. I thought he’d never get round to it if I waited… told you he was laid back.

 

4. We don’t give each other cards or gifts on our anniversary

Our wedding anniversary is on 3 January, so it still feels a bit like Christmas and definitely feels like New Year’s. We’ve done all the shopping we could possibly ever want to have to do in the weeks previous, so the thought of having to go and buy MORE presents a few days after Christmas fills me (and Keith) with horror. We always acknowledge our anniversary and quite often do something on the day to celebrate, but we don’t feel pressured into HAVING to make a big song and dance about it.

This year we remembered it was our anniversary the night before and decided to just stay in and spend it with the furry boy (we didn’t want to go out to a restaurant and leave him behind) so we opened a bottle of bubbly and put together our new dining table… no big deal! Keith did, however, go off to work in the morning with us BOTH forgetting. It wasn’t until my sister texted me to say Happy Anniversary that I remembered #facepalm

 

5. We unintentionally reversed the “traditional” household roles

This is less unusual these days – men doing the housework and the cooking without having to be prompted. To be honest I Could. Not. Deal. with a partner who didn’t know one end of a hoover from another or how to cook. And we live in a time where I think it’s wrong to say I’m “lucky” that I have a husband who cooks and cleans. I’m not lucky, and nor should ANY woman feel lucky. You’re both adults, you can both do it. It’s not 1962 anymore. Gender doesn’t come into it!

That said, we’ve fallen into a pattern of doing the various chores that we prefer to do. And it seems that the “traditional” roles done by men and women are reversed in our household: Keith does most of the cooking, I tend to do the majority of the DIY.

That’s not to say I don’t do ANY cooking and Keith doesn’t do ANY DIY. We often do both together.

Sometimes it’s a case of me saying, Just put the drill DOWN and go start cooking dinner – it avoids him getting really annoyed and frustrated, whereas I could put up shelves or build things all day.

Keith is good at cooking, and he LIKES doing it.

I’m good at DIY (my father, who built our first family house with his own hands, taught his three daughters well), and I LIKE doing it.

The jobs we each do don’t matter. We just do what works for us.

 

7 Unconventional Things We Do in Our Marriage | Not Dressed As Lamb

6. We sort out our own laundry and clean our own bathrooms

I don’t know if this is a weird one, but I can’t say I’ve ever heard of anyone else doing this! Keith wears a uniform to work and every weekend puts on a wash that consists of just his workwear and other darks. And in the week I’ll sort out one wash that consists of mostly my stuff. But we still go through the laundry bin and wash what needs washing (we do wash other things like bedsheets and towels!), we just tend to do it… separately, if that makes sense?

RELATED  Excerpts From My (Imaginary) 2011 Blogging Diary

And since we moved house last summer and have both an ensuite and a main bathroom, we’ve taken over one each. We didn’t really plan it, we just found it easier to have all my stuff in one bathroom and all of Keith’s stuff in the other; it just naturally occurred. It means that I rarely go into “his” bathroom and vice-versa, so we’ve each taken over the responsibility of cleaning our own bathrooms. And as Keith is slightly more weird about housework than I am (I can’t describe it any other way other than “weird”, but in a good way…), it works fine for us that we each clean our own.

 

7. We’re happy for each other to spend money on things we like

Last but not least: we like to treat ourselves, and yet we don’t criticise the other for what they spend their money on. I’ve never had to do that thing of hiding clothes and shoes in the back of the wardrobe, pulling it out months later so that I can say This old thing? I bought this months ago…! No, that’s not us at all.

We don’t hide what we’ve bought for ourselves. And in case you’re wondering, all our earnings go into one joint account, so it’s not as if we’re spending “our own” money. I mean we DO consult the other if we’re going to buy a big purchase, and it’s usually just to say I’ve been looking at X and it costs X but we should be okay this month if I buy this, shouldn’t we? and the answer might be wait till the next month when the next credit card bill comes around [which we pay off in full every month], but we never FORBID the other to buy something.

In fact, Keith’s actually terrible when it comes to reigning me in (yet another example of his laid back attitude). If I’ve got my eye on a pair of shoes or I see a piece of jewellery when we’re out and about somewhere, I might mention to him that I’d like to buy it and he just says Yeah go on, get it! It’ll look great on you! so no, I don’t have a husband who gets cross with my spending.

 

Though we are occasionally quite traditional…

I wonder if our trust of each other affects the things we do in a way that makes some aspects of our marriage unconventional?

And yet, there are some aspects which couldn’t be MORE traditional, for example Keith nearly ALWAYS drives when we go somewhere. I sort of hate that cliché of the man always driving his wife everywhere, but that’s what we do.

We’ll share the driving on a long journey, of course, but to get from A to B he automatically gets in the driver’s side and I automatically get in the passenger seat. And I’m happy to be the designated driver on the way home when he’s had a beer or two.

I don’t know how it happened; we just fell into a pattern but neither of us minds. He just likes driving, and I can catch up on Instagram…!

No one should EVER feel that any aspect or roles within their marriage (or household) are wrong. As long as both parties are happy with the arrangement then that’s all that matters.

Happy Valentine’s Day – or just Happy Thursday if you’re like us!

DO YOU HAVE ANY UNCONVENTIONAL ASPECTS OF YOUR MARRIAGE TO SHARE? TELL US IN THE COMMENTS : -)

Catherine

P.S. Tomorrow I’ll share the results of my Seven Seas Perfect7 Renewal “supplements for wrinkles” trial… don’t miss it! Subscribe below to get an email when it’s published:

So all that’s left to say is – I’ve shared my thoughts/stories/tuppence-worth this week, now it’s time to share yours… LET’S GET THIS [LINK UP] PARTY STARTED!

 

✷  ✷  ✷  ✷  ✷

 

Not Dressed As Lamb #ShareAllLinkUp

Thank you for joining the #ShareAllLinkUp! Designed to allow you to share anything you like on ANY topic, it goes live every Thursday at around 3pm UK time and will stay open for a week. You can share blog posts or Instagram posts, old posts or new posts, and link up as many as you like.

PLEASE be kind and leave a link somewhere on your post, and share your post using the hashtag #ShareAllLinkUp 🙂

 

Click here to receive an email with a reminder to link up to the #ShareAllLinkUp as soon as it’s live!

 


 

60 Comments

  1. February 19, 2019 / 6:05 pm

    Fun to hear the “inside scoop” on your relationship. I have to say we started put prettyconventional, but after 25 years, we have reversed role on a lot of things. It’s much more comfortable to do what works!

    • catherine
      Author
      February 19, 2019 / 9:39 pm

      Thanks Shannon – I think that many couples do what you’ve done and just do what works for them as the years go by…!

  2. February 19, 2019 / 11:56 am

    Catherine, I love this post for so many reasons! We are just as unconventional as you, I believe. I proposed to my husband at a work function in a hotel room, we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day ,and only occasionally when we have had the opportunity to be together on our wedding anniversary we will go to dinner. But out of 9 anniversaries, he has been away for Army stuff for 6 of those! Our anniversary is also in January (the 23rd). My husband does all of the household chores because according to him, my cleaning skills are not “up to Army standards”! We actually do not have the same preferences in extracurricular activities. I prefer trips to shopping NYC city and he prefers attending professional sporting events. So we take our weekend getaways separately. And it works beautifully and also saves on child care costs! When I am away, he has the kids and when he goes away I have the kids. We never have to pay anyone! And jealousy is an absolute NO WAY, NO THANK YOU in our book! I read once that jealousy and true love are mutually exclusive feelings and cannot exist together. I kind of believe that. I have male friends, he has female friends, and we are completely fine with that. At the end of the day, we come home together and raise our little family with all the love we have.

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    • catherine
      Author
      February 19, 2019 / 9:41 pm

      Oh Shelbee thank you for sharing your own experiences and habits!! I love that he thinks your cleaning isn’t up to Army standards, lol 😉 !!!!!!!

      And I agree about the jealousy thing. Not a way I want to spend my life (and we too have male/female friends like yourself) x

  3. February 19, 2019 / 7:49 am

    Great read Catherine. I do Valentine’s Day my way, meaning not buying gifts, but spoiling my loved ones with loving words. This year I kind of overdid myself by also cooking a delicious dinner full or romantic reds. The thought just presented itself spontaneously and since I love cooking (and my family loves my cooking), it was a huge success for everyone. It may even turn into a tradition….Love, Lieske

    • catherine
      Author
      February 19, 2019 / 9:42 pm

      Lieske that sounds lovely!! I love that you do it your way…! <3

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 4:43 pm

      Oh bless you Melissa, thank you!! x

  4. February 16, 2019 / 4:03 am

    We also have our own bathroom and yes, it wasn’t planned, but just happened. Wea also do the chores that we are good at. Thus it goes faster and we have more time for each other. My hubby hates driving the trash to the transfer side. I love going there to watch the weird scenery, and dumpster drivers.

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 4:44 pm

      That sounds like what we call the recycling centre, Nicole… that’s something that neither of us particularly enjoy, haha!!

  5. February 16, 2019 / 1:04 am

    I knew how much I liked you right from the start, Catherine and now it seems having read this you both have a similar outlook on marriage as Steve and I do.

    Lots of people around us think we are quite bizarre that our roles are so untraditional especially his mum over the years!

    I think this is one of the reasons we’ve lasted so long, though … 33 years and coming up married 27 years.

    Jealousy IMO is the bigger killer of relationships and I’m just not that type.

    Freedom to be yourself in a relationship is so empowering and I think makes you value what you have together even more.

    Lovely post to read. xo

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 4:49 pm

      Oh thank you Sharon, glad you liked the post – I knew we shared a dislike of VDay as I remembered your first post about being a Valentines Grinch!!! 😉

  6. Danish Pastry
    February 15, 2019 / 5:27 pm

    VD! Does bring something else to mind, and it’s not totally unrelated! Lol!
    I’m so pleased you wrote this post. Not only do we share a birthday, but I now know there are other similarities.
    We don’t believe in VD either, I like to think we both appreciate the spontaneous gestures the other makes much more! We too made a conscious decision not to have kids (and have dealt with the flack this brings). I got married in trousers too – although we did get hitched in a church, that’s where the conventional stopped – we had two witnesses and a choir (lucky as neither of us can sing). And apart from our witnesses, no-one knew for six months.
    We’re also pretty okay with the other spending money – although I do roll my eyes when he comes home with something and says “I just happened to buy….”, as though he hadn’t been thinking about it for a while.
    Neither of us is the jealous type, and while he may ask if it’s okay for him to go somewhere with his mates, it’s more because he can’t remember if we’ve got anything else planned.
    As for being conventional, I do most of the cooking and cleaning, he cuts the lawn and sorts the technical stuff. He does do all the bbq-ing (we rarely use the oven or a pan for meat), and he’s an ace at sous vide, pancakes and bread. He says that’s not cooking, and I let him believe it’s true!
    It’s okay that everyone is different – marriage isn’t a “one size fits all” kind of thing. Rather, if you tweek it to suit your needs and personalities, instead of trying to live up to other people’s expectations, it’s probably got more staying power!

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 4:53 pm

      I too love spontaneous gestures – Keith and I may not do VDay but he’s incredibly thoughtful and makes some wonderful gestures… it’s often the small things that count, isn’t it?!

      I LOVED hearing about the things you do in your marriage, though I’m sorry you received flack over deciding not to have kids. I mean, you and I don’t give people flack for deciding they DO want kids, do they?!!!! Thanks so much for the fabulous comment x

      • Danish Pastry
        February 18, 2019 / 5:29 pm

        You’re right I don’t ask people to justify their decision (or lack of) to become parents!
        I don’t shout from the rooftops that being childless is a conscious decision, as I don’t want to rub it in, in case there’s someone who wants them and can’t, but if I’m asked I tell it how it is.
        We get asked if that’s not selfish – no more than deciding to have kids. Some think it’s a shame, as we’ll be lonely in our old age – not with five nephews, and friends kids who we have a close relationship with, and it really would be selfish to have kids just to make sure we won’t be lonely (and who’s to say that wouldn’t happen any way!)
        I also think that there are enough people on this earth, so it could be seen as the ultimate environmental gesture!

        • catherine
          Author
          February 19, 2019 / 9:49 pm

          I agree with you on all those points! But like you, I’m sure, I don’t judge people who DO want kids despite all those reasons not to. I really dislike it when people say it’s selfish not to have kids… surely HAVING kids is selfish (in a good way I mean)?!! The kids haven’t asked to be born, the parents are the ones that decided they wanted to do it for themselves… isn’t that the very definition of selfish?

          We’re lucky in that we don’t have parents who judge us or ask us when we’re having kids (all getting a bit late now anyway). As I’m the youngest of four my parents have grandkids AND great-grandkids coming out their ears, so I think they’re good 😀 😉

  7. February 15, 2019 / 9:53 am

    Great to see those first pictures of you together. I was beginning to think I was the only one who doesn’t celebrate VD. (which is a good way of putting it….). Anniversaries are more important – ours is nicely spaced out in June. I can’t bear the sight of all those imported and sad red roses in the supermarkets which never open out fully. Or the silent couples in restaurants with specially marked up menus. It all seems a bit of a con.

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 4:54 pm

      Haha – “VD” 😉

      I see it as a bit of a con too, Gail – but it’s only a problem if one pressurises the other into celebrating it. If BOTH people in the relationship love it, then knock yourselves out and GO FOR IT I say!!!

  8. February 15, 2019 / 9:11 am

    I love this post. My hubby worked from home and got the girls dressed and ready for school. He was a master at ponytails and plaits. He did a fair bit of cooking too. He is not the jealous type either.

    Whatever works for each couple. We are 38 years together now and 37 married this July. He found the card I got for him…a funny one and gave it to me. We don’t normally do cards..

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 4:56 pm

      Thanks Hilda – how fabulous for your girls to have a dad that’s good at hairstyles!!! And congrats on so many years together. I agree, whatever works for each couple #twothumbsup

  9. February 15, 2019 / 7:42 am

    I’ve found this so interesting! My husband is a huge romantic and I’ll take it when ever and what ever the excuse haha. But, my newly married daughter and her husband ignored it this year. I gave her a talk to about why it’s important to make the most of these occasions in your life. Thank you for showing me that as long as they are both happy with it, it’s absolutely fine and they are doing it their way xx

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 4:58 pm

      Maria I think it’s lovely that you both celebrate it (and love it!) – and yes, don’t worry that your daughter and SIL don’t celebrate it… us non-VDayers are really happy about skipping the roses and chocolates, hehe 😉

  10. February 15, 2019 / 2:29 am

    What a beautiful read. Very romantic. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 4:58 pm

      Thank so much for the lovely comment, Patrick! x

  11. February 15, 2019 / 2:02 am

    I love your post! ❤ Something that is unconventional about my husband and I is where we met – at a rock climbing gym! I was trying to get over my fear of heights and he is fearless when it comes to heights and has lead mountaineering trips.

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 4:59 pm

      Oh wow that IS an unconventional place to meet someone Suchot!! Though you wouldn’t find me there as my fear of heights is almost crippling, eek 🙁

  12. jodie filogomo
    February 15, 2019 / 12:44 am

    I adored reading this about you two.
    I was never big into Valentines day before it became our anniversary. It’s really more of us celebrating each other, and lately we just go to breakfast…it’s much less crowded that way!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 4:59 pm

      I think it’s quite lovely that you got married on Vday, Jodie – it’s an excuse to always celebrate it then! Plus the breakfast idea is excellent!!

  13. February 14, 2019 / 10:29 pm

    Catherine,

    What a great story of your life with your husband! I love your subtle sarcasm and humor–it’s so ME! Haha! We seem to have switched some roles over the years, too. My husband has been doing the grocery shopping for many years! I rarely step foot in a grocery store!

    On our 25th (some time ago!), we were going to a dinner play to celebrate some friends upcoming anniversary when my husband remembered it was our actual anniversary! Yikes! Time flies…

    Thanks for sharing your fun thoughts and practices.
    xx Darlene

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:01 pm

      My dad loves doing the grocery shopping too, Darlene – and he’s nearly 90!! I’m often suggesting getting it delivered but he gets cross when I suggest it because he loves going, hehe 😉

      Thank you sweetie x

  14. February 14, 2019 / 10:12 pm

    In a world that is all about hearts and flowers today… thanks for this great post, Catherine. BTW… my Hubby and I went wilderness canoeing and fishing on our honeymoon. And I caught most of the fish:)

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:01 pm

      Sue what an amazing honeymoon – I think it sounds REALLY romantic!!!!! Thank you xo

  15. Mary Katherine
    February 14, 2019 / 9:31 pm

    This was fun to read – and helps further explain why you feel like a kindred spirit! I think much of what you describe comes with the territory of a second marriage. Glenn and I were each married for 17 years – to other people (although his first wife was my next door neighbor when we were children…) and met each other long after we were independent, self-cleaning models. He has learned to cook quite well, and if he gets home first, starts dinner. We have always each done our own laundry, and have no set roles with the housework – it’s whoever gets to it first. He usually drives, but because he gets carsick in the passenger seat. We pool funds for household expenses and holidays, but spend money on ourselves as we see fit. We’ve been together for 11 years, and married for 4 1/2. We got married at the courthouse by a judge with his staff as witnesses – no ring, no flowers, no photos, no fuss. We then met our families for cocktails at our favorite restaurant and broke the news! Any other way and we would have 200 people at a wedding and another 200 more angry they weren’t invited … And because we adore each other a bit more each day, EVERY DAY is Valentine’s Day! So here’s to unconventional couples – bless us every one:)

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:05 pm

      I hadn’t thought about the second marriage thing, but yes you might be right Mary Katherine! Our weeding wasn’t quite as small as yours, but we did only invite parents, siblings (and their families) and 5 of our closest friends. We have a lot of siblings and nieces/nephews between us so it still made for a group of about 30… it was as small as we could make it!

      Love hearing about your own unconventionalities (is that a word?) – sounds like you’re perfectly matched! <3
      Thanks for the lovely comment x

  16. February 14, 2019 / 8:04 pm

    How lovely, we don’t celebrate valentines day, and hubby didn’t actually propose to me (I take great delight in teasing him about it now) we’ve been married for 32 years so I works for us. Thanks for sharing this wonderful insight into your life. Jacqui Mummabstylish

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:06 pm

      32 years, wowee Jacqui!! Goes to show an elaborate proposal isn’t always necessary for a successful marriage, is it…?!! x

  17. February 14, 2019 / 7:58 pm

    I loved seeing your old photos – thank you for sharing 🙂
    I wonder how many of us do actually do Valentine’s Day? Or whether we just think everyone else is doing it because we see it on social media and youtube etc?! My hubby and I love buying each other small gifts at any time of year, so today is just an excuse to do that again; but he doesn’t get me flowers or chocolates – one year it was a skateboard! This evening we’re just carrying on with work as normal.

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:07 pm

      I’m beginning to think just as many people DON’T do Vday Helen judging by the comments here!! I love the fact your H got you a skateboard… that’s brilliant!

  18. February 14, 2019 / 7:40 pm

    This is such a gorgeous post! Because I am nosy I want like 100 more pictures of you guys! Baby C and Baby Keef . I am conflicted because I loathe musicals (Team Keef) and also R. E. M. (Team C). You two are so well suited and I’m going to wish you a Happy V Day anyway ❤️❤️.

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:09 pm

      Thank goodness you detest R.E.M, Lisa… I don’t think we could be friends if you did 😉 #WhinyCrappyPeople

      I may just have to dig out some more selfies we’ve taken over the years… it’s something of a tradition since the very beginning: take a selfie whenever we go somewhere of interest. These days it’s easier with a phone’s front-facing camera, but in the “old days” Keith would hold out the camera at arm’s length, I’d run round and compose it, then run back and we’d take the shot. I almost miss that!!!!!!

  19. February 14, 2019 / 7:37 pm

    I have so much love for this post Catherine. Not least of which is your approach to so called traditional ways. Also I can’t get over that first photo of you two! Babies! But I know you weren’t so it’s surprising to see how youthful you both look.
    All that aside, I adore Keith for being so self assured and confident allowing you to be true to who you are in every way.
    This is no small thing where couples are concerned. You guys are an awesome team xx

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:11 pm

      I was still in my 20s (just) in that first shot MT!!! And thank you, what you said means a lot. He’s so damn easy-going as you know…!

  20. February 14, 2019 / 7:15 pm

    Hi, Catherine
    This is a bold and interesting post! My husband and I got married with vows I wrote at Belle Isle Flower Conservatory with just our parents and siblings in attendance. Then we had a potluck reception at a hall where my friends from the performance art band I was in played and I read my wedding poem. My husband doesn’t believe in celebrating holidays like I do, so any day might be a holiday with surprise gifts from him. Also, he does the laundry because I encouraged him from the beginning, no matter what happened to my clothes! When things got ruined, I just bought more. 🙂 We also allow each other to do what we like; isn’t that the way marriage works out happily? Rather than complaining about what each other does, we encourage each other’s interests and purchases that further those interests. Every couple needs to find what works for them.
    Thanks for the thoughtful post,
    Angie, http://www.yourtrueselfblog.com

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:12 pm

      Oh wow Angie I love that you’re so relaxed about ruined clothes in the laundry… not sure I could be!!! 😉

      Lovely to hear how your relationship works, thanks so much for sharing and for the kind words! xx

  21. February 14, 2019 / 7:12 pm

    This is just a Thursday to us. We have never done V day and most of the time forget our wedding anniversary – in fact, we forgot how many years we had been married last year, which was a hoot!
    It’s over 35 years now, but it’s not important . To me it’s what works for you both and being best friends – we do nice things together like a meal as and when – it doesn’t have to be a specific time or a certain date for us…….but I have friends who do it the conventional way and that works for them.

    Loved reading this it reminded me and my other half.
    Alison xx

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:14 pm

      You sound very much like us, Alison! I love that all the women here are strong women and have strong relationships where everyone does what’s best for them. Celebrate it, don’t celebrate it… it’s a very positive thing to hear!!

  22. Anita Jenkins
    February 14, 2019 / 6:47 pm

    Wonderful post. We should not be doing what the world tells us is “normal.” I like to say that there are as many versions of marriage as there are people who are married.

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:14 pm

      I couldn’t agree with you more, Anita! Thank you xx

  23. February 14, 2019 / 6:30 pm

    Sean & I aren’t fans of Valentine’s Day either; I’m just cooking a nice meal at home tonight (and maaaaybe I’ll open a special bottle of wine). Nor are we fans of marriage—once was enough for both of us, and we’re happy just as we are, even though our married friends don’t seem to understand this. 😉

    Also, you might want to check out my post today, because…you’re in it! Happy Galentine’s Day!

    Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net

    • catherine
      Author
      February 18, 2019 / 5:17 pm

      I don’t think Keith was a huge fan of marriage Cheryl, so I was VERY nervous when I asked him to marry me… it was such a huge relief when he said yes straight away!! I think because I was married before it made me want to marry Keith MORE, in a way I felt I was sort of still married to someone else (even though we’d been divorced for a while). The fact that what we did works for us and what you did works for you is so important and so wonderful about the choices we have these days!

      And now I will finally pop over to check out your post, thank you!!! x

  24. February 14, 2019 / 5:25 pm

    I enjoyed reading this but you are conventional on that you are married. John and I aren’t. Once was enough, haha. Anyway I want to know who holds the t.v. remote?

    • catherine
      Author
      February 14, 2019 / 6:20 pm

      Haha that’s easy, Anna – whoever’s awake!!!!!!! 😉

  25. February 14, 2019 / 4:42 pm

    We’re not fans of Valentine’s Day either. It’s great for folks who like it, but Paul and I have never been the gushy romantic type of couple. We both regularly forget our anniversary. In fact for a while my neighbor would call me each year to remind me.. as our anniversaries happen to be on the same day and she knows I forget, ha.

    • catherine
      Author
      February 14, 2019 / 6:21 pm

      I guess we’re not gushy either Julie, but then in private we are sometimes?! I’m glad I’m not the only one who forgets their anniversary!!

  26. February 14, 2019 / 4:39 pm

    Nice to see other more ‘unconventional’ couples out there, thanks for sharing! I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 4, and we still have our finances separately (except bills etc). My family are appalled that I send him half of the dinner bill when we go out, but it always worked for us. That way, we can each have expensive hobbies (him karting, me sewing) without feeling guilty. It’s also a great way to treat each other going out for special occasions, like birthdays, celebrating a new job or as a thank you for something, by taking care of the bill.
    When we got married, we ran away to the Caribbean and ditched the family and traditions. We had our wedding breakfast barefoot on the beach with mango daquiris + chocolate samosas and fireflies for fireworks!
    We also despise VDay. Many a year we have actively avoided it, with my particular favourite spent in B&Q buying a power drill (my 30th bday present from my parents, ha ha).

    • catherine
      Author
      February 14, 2019 / 6:22 pm

      Gosh Alex you’re a WHOLE lot more unconventional than us!! I love that you spent a VDay in B&Q… much like us putting our table together, lol x

  27. February 14, 2019 / 4:30 pm

    What lovely to read. It’s the best thing to have a relation when you both can be yourselves and have great times together. In fact, my partner is the only person I feel totally myself and comfortable with.

    • catherine
      Author
      February 14, 2019 / 6:23 pm

      Thanks Nancy – lovely to hear that about your other half! x

  28. February 14, 2019 / 4:24 pm

    Such a cute post… love all your funny things.
    We celebrate Valentines day because that was the day or our first date. My hubby is better at ironing than me so I leave it mostly up to him – a great believer everyone should do what they are best in 😉

    xxx Yvonne
    http://www.funkyforty.com

    • catherine
      Author
      February 14, 2019 / 6:24 pm

      That’s a LOVELY reason to celebrate VDay, Yvonne!! And your husband sounds perfect, I cannot STAND ironing…! : -D

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Looking for Something?