Why I Refuse to Purge The Clothes That Currently Don’t Fit Me

Purging The Clothes That No Longer Fit Me Will NOT Make Me Feel Better by Catherine Summers AKA Not Dressed As Lamb, over 50 fashion and lifestyle blog

How many articles have you read that encourage you to have a closet clearout/wardrobe refresh every year?

(Weirdly I received yet another one in a newsletter I subscribe to while I was writing this post. Someone obviously heard my furious keyboard tapping coming from the shadow of my chairdrobe.)

Decluttering has been a big thing ever since Marie Kondo introduced us to the KonMari Method of decluttering and uttered those (now famous) words, “Does it spark joy?” – and to be honest, I’m a fan. I always feel better when I have a good clear out at home, and the results are worth every minute of decluttering, decisions and *ahem* dust. I’m even working towards Swedish death cleaning my house. (My progress is slow but steady; I’m aiming to finish by the age of 80. I figured 28 years should be enough time to get it done.)

So to address this uncluttered phenomenon: yes, I regularly go through my wardrobe and clear out clothes that I know I won’t wear anymore, for whatever reason. They get donated or put into the car boot sale/online selling pile (which reminds me, I have to get round to doing both of those things.)

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However, I’m not entirely comfortable with the advice that tells us that the way to declutter your wardrobe is to judge every item on whether it’s been worn in the last year. Or even more extreme, the last six months.

What the WHAT now?! If I haven’t worn something in the last six months I should just get rid of it?? Seriously?

Any Brit will know that items in their summer wardrobe don’t get much of an outing and, if you take this year as an example, warmer temperatures have only really started appearing in the last couple of weeks or so. (Don’t get me started on the fact that the shops are stocking Autumn-Winter lines already, WTF.) Therefore I have a ton of summer clothes (well, dresses) that I still love and of course haven’t worn since last year or maybe even the year before, because we just don’t get enough hot summer days to wear a different summer dress every day.

But more than that, I can’t fit into the majority of my wardrobe right now. I have SO many clothes that I absolutely ADORE – I mean I love them like you’d love a beautiful oil painting or a stunning sculpture you have as part of your home décor – but they don’t fit me. Still, here’s the rub (much like my thighs experience on a daily basis, little joke for you there): I want to wear them. But just because they don’t fit me now doesn’t mean they won’t fit me ever.

And the fact that I love these clothes so much is why purging the clothes that no longer fit will NOT make me feel better. In fact, it would make me far MORE miserable and sad to get rid of them than it does to have them in the wardrobe and not be able to wear them. And I don’t think it’s fair to be indirectly berated by these draconian decluttering articles that tell me my life would be SO much better if only I had a full-blown purge and tossed them out.

I’m telling you, I would PINE for them. Like a child who’s been told their cherished, threadbare muslin needs to be thrown out. Or a dog whose favourite toy is so old and chewed up that it’s barely recognisable as a rabbit (“A rabbit? I thought it was a platypus…”) – you can’t get rid of it, can you? It would break its heart. Older people often love their trinkets that are so old-fashioned that the temptation to say “Mum, are you sure you want to keep that horse ornament with the brass horseshoes on it?” is not a wise one to succumb to. Don’t go there. Leave the ornaments be.

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In the same way, leave me and my wardrobe alone, you decluttering freaks.

 

I’m not disillusioned, oh no

Now, before anyone says “Oh but you should just accept your size and move on!” – can I just say that yes, I’m firmly in the body size acceptance camp. I have fully embraced the fact that at the age of 52, I’ll likely never be a size 8 again and nor do I want to be. My weight gain in recent years is not purely down to “just middle age”, perimenopause or anything age or metabolism-related. I’ve had a huge number of health problems lately, all of which have resulted in me being almost totally unable to walk around the house, let alone anything resembling (even gentle) exercise.

Sciatica pain is one of the most debilitating conditions to have when you’re a mostly healthy person, and as someone who enjoys their food it means I ended up being stressed, tired and lethargic – and gaining weight at a scary rate. It’s not a case of “Ugh I’ve put on 10lb/5kg” (oh, the poor sweet child who cries that)… I am 48lb/22kg/3.5 stone heavier than I was before all the pain started three years ago. (And I could be heavier than that, I haven’t weighed myself in a while.) So right now, even my previously bigger clothes are now way too small for me.

But that’s perfectly okay. I’m not losing sleep over the clothes issue. But what I AM concerned about is my health. The weight gain does have to be addressed if I don’t want an increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, osteoarthritis (which my mother suffers from and my joints are pretty painful already) or any other weight-related issues that can have a severely detrimental effect on my health. My goal is, therefore, to improve my health and get back to a reasonable (i.e. healthy) weight, and the first stop has been physiotherapy. I’ve been having regular physio for several months and can now finally feel like I can move again without pain.

That goal should mean that I get fitter and trimmer and be able to do the things I love doing once more: running, hiking, weight training, dancing round the kitchen without collapsing before You Should Be Dancing by the Bee Gees has even finished. I was on a trampoline with my six-year-old great niece the other weekend and I could barely do more than a couple of bounces before my knee went Er, NOPE?! That needs to change; I’m intending to get back on that trampoline and bounce my middle-aged toosh into next week before the summer is over.

 

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I am not a minimalist and never will be

I’ve already purged the teeny-tiny size 8 clothes that I know I’ll never, ever get back into (or at least earmarked them for selling). The clothes I want to wear are the ones I was wearing just a couple of years ago, the ones I still love and adore and want to wear again. I also want to be able to wear my collection of vintage shirts and dresses.

So if I were to take the advice of some of these articles that tell you to purge your wardrobe of anything you haven’t worn in six months or a year, then to be honest I’d have nothing left that brings me joy. I am not a minimalist. I like to be organised and have everything incredibly tidy, spick and span – but a minimalist I am not.

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It would break my heart to say goodbye to my flared trouser pink corduroy jumpsuit or my plunge neck terracotta jumpsuit. I’m not ready to let go of my pink-striped vintage DVF jumpsuit (over my dead body). In other words, I just want to wear all my jumpsuits again 😉 – if my house were burning down I’d 100% be going back in to save them. Them AND the dresses.

(Well maybe not really, but you get my point. Though I might go back for the vintage striped one… I mean, LOOK just how fabulous it is…)

Vintage DVF pink and white striped jumpsuit | Location: Santorini | Not Dressed As Lamb

I do know that decluttering is key

I’m not denying that decluttering has a therapeutic effect – it does. I know only too well that having a messy, cluttered home results in my own irritation and lack of productivity. I get angry with such small, trivial things when the house is a mess. My wardrobe is super-organised and tidy; even my socks and pants are rolled up beautifully in my drawers à la Marie Kondo… she’d be so impressed. (I’ve thought about DM-ing her a photo of my underwear drawer like a proud panties parent, but that might get me blocked.)

My wardrobe is just… fuller than it should be. It still has many, many items that I can’t wear, but want to. (I say “it” like it’s singular – I have three double wardrobes plus a rail for protected occasion wear and winter coats in the loft. I am not ashamed.) I love looking at these items and remembering the fabulous outfits they created. There are beautiful vintage pieces that I could NEVER part with. Why would I want to? They won’t date, they’re dated already as I like to say. And I have items that are 10, 12, heck, even 15 years old that I’m going to hang on to because good lord, I made some great purchasing decisions back in the day. Go 30 and 40-something me.

But I DO keep these too-small-but-dearly-loved items separate and slightly to one side, knowing that they’re there and waiting for my fitness levels to return. Because I can do both: the decluttering of everyday stuff that’s worn out/not doing me any favours/not getting me excited PLUS the keeping of certain, beautiful pieces that I fully intend to fit into at some point.

In my eyes, if I give up on those pieces then I’ve given up on looking after my body. And if I do get fit and my body shape doesn’t change, then so be it… but I’ll be healthy. I’ll be strong. Strong enough to build a giant glass-fronted cabinet (like the V&A costume collection, oh yeah) for those treasured pieces. They can be displayed and gazed at from time to time without ever being worn ever again. Just watch me.

Do you think we should purge our wardrobes every 6-12 months and get rid of anything we haven’t worn in that time, without exception? Or are you like me and far too fond of certain pieces to just let them go even if they haven’t been worn? Share with me in the comments below!

 

Thanks for reading,

Catherine signature

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31 Comments

  1. Sarah P
    27 August 2024 / 7:46 pm

    I completely agree that a purge every 6-12 months makes no sense. Life happens. All my clothes are seasonal, and I normally do 4 switches per year where things are taken from storage or put away. In a hot summer (e.g. 2022) I live in linen, but in a cool summer like 2024 then a lot of my hot weather clothes aren’t worn at all. Similarly I have a coat and some jumpers perfect for a cold winter, but if we get a mild one like 2023-4 then those clothes aren’t worn that year. One of my jumpers was bought in 1998 and definitely hasn’t been worn every year, but it is still in great condition, fits, and I am very glad I didn’t declutter it! TBH the clothes I am most likely to declutter are those I remember wearing for something unhappy (e.g. failed medical treatment or difficult times with my ex) because I then have bad emotional associations with the item. No point keeping clothes that just remind me of unhappy times!

  2. Laura Short
    26 August 2024 / 2:30 am

    Good post! 6 months is just absolutely wasteful and ridiculous! Lara Spence on GMA always says “Keep the Good Stuff”!
    If it is quality and you love it: Hang on to it. I have a Hot Pink Silk pant suite. I wore it 15 or 18 years ago. I LOVED IT and saved it and it waited for me. Well….. then the Barbie Movie came out and Hot Pink came back in with a vengeance. I pulled out that beauty and it got some real good wear in 2023, starting with the movie and the photos with all my friends dressed for the event. I live in the Houston TX area and YEARS go by that we hardly need a coat. I save my cashmere and wool coats. Then that eventual cold front hits and I LOVE pulling out my years old beauties and I WEAR THEM! Jeans (make that any denim) live forever! The list and stories go on and on! I remember wearing some of my mom’s 50’s era dresses in the 70’s. Ladies: SAVE THE GOOD STUFF. PS, I love that red and white striped jump suit! LOVE LOVE

  3. 12 August 2024 / 8:36 pm

    I’m with you on this one Catherine,, I’ve got loads of clothes that are a bit too tight but I can’t get rid of them. I know I’ve got too many clothes, but I find it so difficult to part with them! The same goes for shoes with high heels that I can’t walk in at the moment, but until I’ve had bunion surgery on both feet (first one next week!) and they’ve healed properly I won’t know if I’ll ever wear them again. And as for the A/W collections being in the shops, TK Maxx informed me via email that they’re stocking Halloween stuff…wtf! I hope the physio works wonders for you and you’re soon fighting fit again. Thanks for linking!

    • Catherine
      Author
      14 August 2024 / 1:14 pm

      I can only imagine the glories you have in your colourful wardrobe, Emma!!

      And I’m with you on the high heels, I’m really not sure what to do with mine… I just don’t go to the events I used to wear them to anymore so I’m stuck. Think I need to cut the strings with those, lol 😉

      I hope your surgery goes well – sounds serious! Wishing you well, and thank you xx

  4. Lise
    11 August 2024 / 4:52 pm

    I never purge clothes because of size. I always get back into them.

    • Lise
      12 August 2024 / 6:23 am

      I need to add ‘eventually’ as sometimes it has taken many years! Fortunately I mostly own classic clothes that do not really date. , no

    • Catherine
      Author
      14 August 2024 / 1:16 pm

      That’s going to be my aim, Lise! I know it’ll be that I get back in them eventually, which is why it doesn’t make sense for me to get rid of the classic pieces and the vintage. So glad it’s not just me that thinks like that 😀

  5. Anna D.
    8 August 2024 / 2:13 pm

    I totally get this for truly unique things like vintage pieces that you can’t easily replace, and which have some intrinsic value as, well, historic objects. And assuming you have space to store them so they don’t impinge on the rest of your life. My wardrobe has never been that unique or interesting, so I am very much in the “toss anything that doesn’t fit now” camp. For me, it’s much better for my mental health to have only clothes that I can wear now, and I know myself well enough to know that if I ever change size enough to fit back into [name items here], I would get more satisfaction out of buying something new than breaking out something old. (That relies on the privilege of feeling confident I could afford to buy something new, of course!) In theory I think it’s admirable, and probably preferable, to have a small wardrobe of good quality, stunning pieces that are cared for and worn regularly. In practice, I am a magpie and am happier with a lot of variety to choose from, and one of the only ways to manage that is to be relatively ruthless about getting rid of what I physically can’t wear.

    It may help that my approach to health is to worry about my activity level and what I’m eating, but not about my weight in and of itself. I don’t think of weight as a driver of health, and believe that to the extent weight loss improves health, it’s much more a by product of the activities people undertake to lose weight than the literal cause. So I don’t have weight loss as a goal (despite having gained over perimenopause), which means it doesn’t really make sense for me to keep clothes that no longer fit.

    I make a few exceptions for very expensive or very sentimental items. I have the dress I got married in even though I can’t imagine fitting into it again (or wearing it even if I could as it’s not actually that interesting a dress). I tend to hang onto things like full suits and winter coats longer than other things, because they’re often more classic so can be worn despite trend changes, and they’re so expensive to replace. But being a magpie, I have a fair amount of “cheep and cheerful” items that I like and wear regularly, but aren’t intrinsically valuable or even intended to last that long. I know fast fashion is a scourge and bad for the environment, but given the difficulty in finding affordable and cute plus-sized clothing, I do own some fast fashion, and there’s not much point in keeping it when it no longer fits.

    • Catherine
      Author
      18 August 2024 / 11:17 am

      I think your approach sounds perfect, Anna – it suits you and how you feel towards your wardrobe and your health, and that’s the most important thing! I think it’s why I object to this advice online that says we should ALL purge our wardrobes based on when we last wore something… one size does NOT fit all (pun intended/not intended). I can’t afford to buy a whole new wardrobe (these articles assume we can), so I’ve been buying secondhand/preloved for bigger clothes that I can fit in and that I love, and my goal is fitness and strength as you’ve mentioned for yourself too. Everyone should do what’s right for them, so glad that you do you as they say x

  6. Lynn Jones
    8 August 2024 / 1:35 pm

    Wth apologies to the Bard 🙂

    To declutter or not to declutter?
    That is the question.
    Whether ’tis nobler to ram full one’s cupboards
    The cursed of lost shoes, trinkets, and glamour,
    Or to cut the joyless unsparing,
    And by that choice, replace and regret.
    But no more! Embrace what hath worked,
    and what works for thee; for it ist thy life and closest.

    _________________

    I’m with you on the pleasure post cleanup. To not see the treasures of memory lost behind the slow avalanche of daily detritus; yeah, that’s a thing.

    Unfortunately 🙂 Things that are linked to memories do indeed spark joy for me, and so they build up quicker than a virtual shopping basket.

    But, if I’m short of space or the item will never fit, I wonder: is it better to give someone else the chance of happy memories? Will the donated dress become their “this old thing?” classic vintage or pretty shoes (yet not feet killer) Proper Grownup Lady chic? That helps me give things away.

    PS: If you’ve got winter things you are needed going to wear, there’s charities for immigrants who will love warm clothing. Also, socks et al can go to shelters. Some folks really have nothing, bless them.

    • Catherine
      Author
      18 August 2024 / 2:38 pm

      Lynn that TOTALLY sounds like it was written by the Big Man himself – bravo, that was brilliant!

      You couldn’t have summarised my house better than you did with “the slow avalanche of daily detritus”… that’s so horribly true! :/ I’m with you on the idea of giving someone else happy memories, that’s the best way to look at decluttering overall, not just clothes but everything in the home. And you’re right about the coats for immigrants and I guess homeless people too, I will look that up for sure (the husband has winter coats that can be donated that way too)!

  7. 8 August 2024 / 3:10 am

    This post came at the perfect time! I kid you not. My rather small two door closet is 50 years old and I couldn’t slide one of the doors without fear of breaking off a nail. So I had my husband remove both doors and I decided that a deep cleaning, purging and re organization was in order. However I can’t seem to get started since I’ve already lost so much weight and need to donate what clearly doesn’t look good on my body any more. Your post reminds me that it ok to keep treasured items like that big cozy Striped black and white sweater with the slightest trim of black lace not as dark as my goth days but still kind of cute with black denim and matching black ankle booties.

    • Catherine
      Author
      18 August 2024 / 2:47 pm

      You have to end up feeling better than you did before you started Sue, so it makes sense to keep certain items that bring joy even if you can’t wear them or if they indeed are too big! If it were me (having clothes that are too big) then I’d see about getting the really, really special pieces resized by a tailor so that I can wear them again – if that’s a possibility for you? Not an option for me unfortunately, but I can think of two or three special pieces I’d totally do that for if they were too big as opposed to too small…! So glad the post resonated with you, I hope you get it sorted in the best way for you that makes you happy 😀

  8. Sanja Van Huet
    7 August 2024 / 11:41 pm

    Yes yes yes …. sometimes even knowing that you have one certain item will bring joy.

    A clean sweep clean out for the sake of it? Not if it brings regret.

    • Catherine
      Author
      18 August 2024 / 2:48 pm

      Regret is EXACTLY what I’d feel about certain pieces, Sanja! That’s why I don’t think this idea of “one size fits all” (where decluttering is concerned, pun not intended) is such a good idea. We’re definitely on the same page 😉

  9. Kathryn
    7 August 2024 / 8:51 pm

    Oh Catherine! I am so with you. I too have a very full wardrobe and refuse to purge items just because I have not worn them in X number of months. I have had some stress related weight gain in the past few years. The problems are ongoing, so I doubt I am going to lose the excess 10 pounds in the near future. I have pretty things to wear that are my current size. I have purged some of the “too tight” items that I did not care a lot about – things like jeans that are nothing special. However, like you I, am holding onto some really beautiful items that I am not ready emotionally to part with. I do hope to fit back into them in the future. I do feel sad that I cannot currently wear them. Some people feel that hanging onto items that are too small is far from motivating. I can see that. I don’t keep the clothes to try to motivate myself to lose weight. It’s just that they are pretty, unique things that cannot be easily replaced. I do keep them where I do not have to see them every day. I think that would be disheartening. So, in short….. I am on team Catherine.

    • Catherine
      Author
      18 August 2024 / 3:23 pm

      I think you and I are definitely on the same page, Kathryn! “I don’t keep the clothes to try to motivate myself to lose weight. It’s just that they are pretty, unique things that cannot be easily replaced” – THIS!!

  10. 7 August 2024 / 8:15 pm

    Thank you so much for substantiating my feelings exactly! While my size has not changed dramatically, I can no Longer squeeze into a size 4. Styles come and go and then come back again! I love the red capris my husband bought me 20 years ago. They are on trend again and as a gift, have a fond memory attached. Although I haven’t worn them in over a year…I will! This is just the beginning of why I hold on to these things. Thanks for the fun article….I’m with you! : )

    • Catherine
      Author
      19 August 2024 / 1:15 pm

      I’m guessing you’re a US size 4, Jill, so that’s the same as the UK size 8 I used to be… I think even if I got very, very fit I’ll never be a size 8 again – and I’m okay with that as I mentioned. You keep those red capris, they obviously bring you joy…!!

  11. 7 August 2024 / 7:58 pm

    I’m in full agreement with you Catherine. I am very organised and love my wardrobes. But I have an array of dresses that are for PROPER summer days. We haven’t had any here in the UK this year and nor are we going abroad this year. So by this time next year, those dresses won’t have seen the light of day for two years. There isn’t even a remote chance I would purge my wardrobe of them. Glad to hear you’re benefitting from the physio my love. I know how you miss the fitness side of your life xxx

    • Catherine
      Author
      19 August 2024 / 1:22 pm

      I know your summer dresses addiction well Liz ( 😉 ) and I think it’d be a travesty if you gave them up just because they haven’t been worn this year!! That’s why I think this advice to get rid of anything not worn in a year makes no sense, if we buy carefully (i.e. not buying fast fashion) then our wise choices will remain stylish and able to be worn for many years to come. And thank you for the love, physio is down to one appointment a month now as we’ve made a lot of progress! x

  12. LShipley
    7 August 2024 / 7:31 pm

    AHHHH, I’ve found my people.

    • Catherine
      Author
      19 August 2024 / 1:23 pm

      Hehe there seems to be a lot of us not liking the 6-month-no-wear purge advice, L!

  13. AJ
    7 August 2024 / 7:17 pm

    I am you! Unfortunately right down to the sciatica, oh and I live in the southwest United States so it is my crazy collection of sweaters that hardly see the light of day. I like to display some of the beautiful items I have loved, and may never fit again, and a permanent fixture is a lovely top I crocheted for myself more years ago than I care to admit to which will never ever fit again, but it is beautiful and I am proud of the work I did. No laughing, it even has a matching crochet covered hanger.

    • Catherine
      Author
      19 August 2024 / 1:25 pm

      AJ it does sound like our situations are very similar (I feel for you with the sciatica, it’s absolutely heinous isn’t it 🙁 ) – and no shade for the matching crocheted covered hanger, I think that’s totally fabulous!!

  14. Tresi Hall
    7 August 2024 / 7:08 pm

    I’m sooo glad I’m not the only person with a ‘ petting zoo ‘ of clothes! In there,I keep the items that get a yes to the ” does it bring you joy? ” question.
    I can justify this easily( as if I have to!) because I frequently get cravings for styles or colours that I know I won’t actually get worn,but the itch needs to be scratched
    I’ve just had four years of hip related pain and surgery; as a result, like you,I’ve gained weight and also changed shape and worst of all,lost height.
    One day,I’ll be able to wear some of those lovely clothes,but right now,I’m pupating so need happy clothes for now and hopefully,more for the future.

    • Catherine
      Author
      19 August 2024 / 1:27 pm

      Tresi I’m totally calling my wardrobes a petting zoo now, LOL! 😀

      Good for you for wearing happy clothes for now (bit like me with the charity shop bargains, I love the thrill of finding something fabulous for just a couple of quid!) – plus I hope you’re on the road to recovery and healing well… that sounds like you’ve been through an ordeal! x

  15. 7 August 2024 / 7:08 pm

    I get rid of clothes that I KNOW I WON’T WEAR AGAIN, or I decide they look terrible on me. I also get rid of clothes that I deem “mistakes” that I should not have purchased. I will keep things I have not worn for years, and then down the road, donate them. And then i don’t feel bad because I did give it a chance to be worn! lol. I buy a lot of stuff on Ebay and poshmark. I buy items that are from last year and i did not buy and later regret.

    • Catherine
      Author
      19 August 2024 / 1:29 pm

      I too think it’s a wise idea to keep things you absolutely know you won’t wear again, Linda – I think that’s where Marie Kondo’s “does it spark joy” question makes perfect sense. I regularly purge those, but keeping stuff that DOES spark joy, even if it doesn’t fit right now? Nahhhhh, not for me 😉 – but buying preloved is SUCH a good idea! x

  16. 7 August 2024 / 6:56 pm

    Right there with you on this. I had a killer black velvet top and long skirt set (slit to mid-thigh) that took care of the occasional formal occasions for 20 years. And Christmas-wear? One year I may fit in the red velvet jeans, one year not, but they’re not going anywhere. It’s also a relief to just buy stuff in a larger size, look and feel good in it, and cut out the damned tag. I’ll never re-sell it anyway. Hear hear for “healthy rather than skinny”.

    • Catherine
      Author
      19 August 2024 / 1:33 pm

      Red velvet jeans, MK?! WOWSERS! You keep them babies…!!

      I’m totally not hung up on the size on a label, either – sizes are so all over the place they shouldn’t make a jot of difference, should they? And YES to fit and healthy, it’s what I’m constantly striving for 😀

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