Something I’ve been asked to do many times on video and photo shoots is to blow a kiss at the camera. I don’t know about you but as a 47-year-old woman, I find this excruciating.
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Is this just me? If you’re a Generation Xer/baby boomer do you find this as awkward as I do, whether you’re the one being asked to blow the kisses or the one looking at 40 and 50+ women doing it? With Valentine’s Day being tomorrow I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing it all over the shop, so I thought I’d ask your opinion on this matter.
First, let me adjust my soapbox slightly… Ready.
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“Too old” for blowing kisses?
At what point do we become – and I apologise for my want of a better expression – ‘too old’ to blow kisses at the camera? (If, indeed, we’re too old to do anything at all ever, including blowing kisses like there’s no tomorrow.)
I don’t mean old in the same sense that some people consider women too old to wear certain things. I mean too old in the same sense as being too old to worry about what we wear or what others think about us, or too old to bow to peer pressure and just go ahead and do our own thing.
You could say “too grown-up” to do it. It still doesn’t sound quite right, but I’m sure you know what I mean.
I guess I see blowing kisses as a bit of an influencer [*rolls eyes*] peculiarity, where it automatically gives you an excuse to do the duck face pouting thing. Want to do a duck face but don’t want to be too obvious doing it? Blow a kiss to the camera. There you go, automatic duck face! No one will ever know!
This is probably the old lady cynic coming out in me, but I’ve worked on quite a few photo and video shoots and I’d say over the last 1-2 years I’ve been asked to blow a kiss to the camera about 50% of the time.
Photographer: “Okay we’ve almost wrapped up – could you just finish off by blowing a kiss to the camera?”
Me inside: God no, don’t ask me to do that…
Me: “Er sure, like this?” [blows an awkward kiss]
Me inside: Christ I feel like such an idiot…
Maybe I’m asked to do it because I’ve been involved with a few campaigns that feature bloggers of various ages, and it’s the younger ones that do it as a matter of course in their content. Then again, I’ve also been asked to do it on shoots where all the ladies are in the older 40+ bracket, so who KNOWS what the brand/campaign manager is thinking.
Is it because it’s just expected these days on social media? We’re so used to seeing kisses being blown by influencers left, right and centre that perhaps brands assume that that’s what everyone WANTS to see, no matter whether they’re 15 or 55? But DO women want to see it?
I don’t, not really. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t make some big song and dance about it – I just find it awkward. It makes me a bit squirmy, like watching a sex scene in a TV programme with your parents. Just – no. No, no, no. Pleeeeeeease make it stop.
What image (or message) is this meant to portray…?
I know it’s a “fun” thing, I get that. It’s meant to create an air of frivolity and whimsy. But there are some brands that (I’m sure) would never, EVER use the blowing kisses thing in their campaigns – advertising, editorial, social or otherwise – and I guess these are the ones I consider the more serious or “grown-up” brands. Ones wanting to project a more classy image. Brands that come to mind are Winser London, Reiss, LK Bennett and Hobbs. I may be wrong, but I can’t imagine them featuring models or bloggers/regular women in any of their campaigns making duck faces and blowing kisses.
Then again, maybe they shouldn’t take themselves too seriously and should try “loosening up”? (Jury’s out on that one.)
I’d love to know your thoughts on this, and whether I’m being totally melodramatic and should just chill tf out, or whether you find it just as awkward as I do (whether you’re in front of the camera or the consumer who the image is ultimately aimed at).
Either way, blowing kisses gets a Nooooo thank you from me. At least it’s not as bad, however, as being asked to WINK at the camera (oh, the horror). When I try to do it, it looks like I’ve got grit in my eye and my mouth gapes open like I’m catching flies for Team GB in the Insect-Eating Championships.
And as one photographer said to me when I tried to wink, “Hmm yeah, maybe we won’t do that…”
What are your thoughts on the whole blowing kisses thing? Tell me in the comments!
XOXO
UGH! As one article online put it, “A Mwah too far”!
Women and men (but no non-binary persons so far) of my acquaintance, are doing this kissy-face duck look together with a nauseating slimy MOOOAWWWWW noise, at many ages and in many contexts. It seems to come together with a snarky condescending tone of voice, as well as them using Babytalk/Elderspeak, to demean and talk down to rather than delight the recipient of said “MOOOAWWWWW”. It’s like “I’m so fabulous I’m going to grace you with the presence of my Duck Lips LOL”. It’s toxic gooey irony at its worst (mimicking affection where there is none) and as my Grandmother would have said “Don’t do that, your face might get stuck”!!
I think it’s really annoying. The Facebook makeup ads where mostly ( but not only) very young, beautiful women put the makeup on and start blowing kisses and flirting with the camera – so enthralled with their own hotness. Juvenile ads.
Author
I just find all of it a bit cringy, Katrina…!
If you ever go on a cruise ship, the photographers are always asking you to kiss as well. I hate it. We always say no, besides who wants a picture of yourself kissing and/or blowing kisses. Also the puckered lips in the insta pictures, just NO… Oh good lord I have turned into my mother lol
Author
Oh I can imagine they do, Linda! It’s most definitely weird… 🙁
Catherine, you are too funny! This is hilarious! And I kind of think maybe blowing kisses at the camera is just a personal thing. I don’t think I have ever done it and I would prefer not to…along with that duck face thing. But it does make me chuckle when others do it. Perhaps my personal distaste with it is that I do not look cute when I make faces like that. However, I am not opposed to sticking out my tongue or making ridiculous grimace faces at the camera. I do love your photo where you are grimacing much more than a kissy face, well, because it is more realistic. I certainly make goofy faces all day long in real life but rarely do I blow a kiss even when there are no cameras around. So it is unnatural in addition to being uncomfortable. I guess that’s my input on the topic! Let’s all be goofy! Thanks for linking up with me!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Would the photographer request a grown man doing a photo shoot to finish with a close up of him blowing a kiss to the camera? Ah……, never!
There’s the best reason to refuse.
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Very true, Peppysfriend… not they wouldn’t!!
Haha, never gave it any thought. I *am* a big fan of blowing kisses to my grandchildren when we video chat!
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Totally different, Kimberly – I’m very much a kissing person with my loved ones IRL so grandkids deserve them!! 😉
How old is too old to blow kisses at the camera? 12. LOL! I personally am not a fan of blowing kisses or duckface. That said, I would never tell someone else they shouldn’t. Each person has to go with what’s right for her. But you are not alone in this feeling.
Michelle
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It’s such an icky thing for me, Michelle – but I’m asked to do it so often on shoots that I’ve sort of forgotten that I could potentially say no… at least now I can say that the majority of my readers find it weird and awkward too (and just see what they say)!!
I really don’t have an opinion on the subject apart from that we shouldn’t do what we don’t feel like doing. For me it is more personality than age things. Some people are into blowing kisses, others aren’t.
Author
For me it definitely isn’t something I’m comfortable with, Ivana… but I guess you already gathered that from the post, lol!
er… no to blowing kisses on social media. My great grandson liked to blow kisses before he was one. The latest skill at the time. Now? No.
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I don’t mind it SO much on social as that’s people’s private accounts, Ratnamurti… it’s the brands making bloggers do it that I find awkward. It’s the “cutesy” factor that makes me cringe…!! But interesting that so many of you don’t like it either!
Mmm…I suppose the kiss blowing is meant to be positive/upbeat/happy… so maybe just smile??!
It is definitely cringeworthy at any age I think….. I do enjoy your thought provoking posts on all sorts of subjects, always interesting, thank you!
Author
I think I’m definitely going to say from now on in shoots that a) I’m not comfortable doing it, Erika, and b) that the majority of my readers gave it a big fat NO, so we’ll see what they say next time it comes up! It’s mostly to end a sequence on video where you’ve already been doing a whole load of smiling… not sure what an alternative “signing off” could be, though?!
Ahhh the POUT… all the teens are at it.
My daughter’s bedroom wall is full of images of her and her friends pouting.
I think it’s hilarious and they will too in 10 years!
XXX
Samantha
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I think it’ll be even worse to look in 10 years at me being 47 and doing it – at least teenagers always have the excuse that they were teenagers!!! My “pouts” just look ridiculous 🙁 , lol
It’s trying to produce a very girlish, sweet image of femininity which makes my teeth grate. Why can’t women look happy and powerful?
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Sophikita you’ve hit the nail on the head where my thoughts are concerned – that’s exactly what I was trying to express but couldn’t come up with a good way of saying it!! Thank you #StrongArmEmoji
No. Nope. Nope.
I can’t think of anything worse. Not even going to try to analyse why!!
Cannot believe that’s even requested on a professional shoot.
X
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Oh gosh Sue I thought I was being harsh about being asked to do it… you’ve said it so bluntly and I love that!!
Yeah, I’m asked A LOT to do it in photo and video shoots. In fact something with me blowing a kiss to camera went out on social media the very day I started writing this post and OH GOD I cringed… I was hoping they wouldn’t use it!!!!!!
COMPLETELY with you on this one. As a general rule in front of cameras, if it isn’t something you would normally do, it’s not going to look natural, period. If you can get yourself to a place where you’re blowing the kiss but able to “think” it into something else – great. Very method, lol. but yeah….Why do people want to art-direct us into twee or coy all the time anyway?
Author
“Why do people want to art-direct us into twee or coy all the time anyway?” – YES, KRISTIN!!!!!!!!
I think very few of us older gals would do the blowing kisses thing anyway, and then I think some who do it only do it because “it’s what influencers do, isn’t it?”, so that’s probably why it doesn’t feel or look natural…
Love the, “Hmm, maybe we won’t do that!!” Lol! I think blowing kisses is awkward and isn’t really something I’m drawn to. But then again I’m on the cusp as a Baby Boomer, so maybe it’s the practical in me? Hmm. Probably I won’t do that…
xx Darlene
Author
Hehe yes the winking thing really wasn’t impressing the photographer that day, Darlene… we actually had a laugh about the fact that I just couldn’t do it! Maybe that’s a good ploy to make them stop asking me to blow kisses… I’ll do it REALLY badly so that they abandon the idea, lol!!!!
Great post! No blowing kisses (or duck face) from this 40+ year old. It’s just not “me”. I do think it’s rather silly and overdone too.
Thanks for hosting the linkup.
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That’s how I feel, Ellibelle – it’s just not “me”!! thank you x
No I wouldn’t blow a kiss unless my son is taking the photo and I’m trying to be silly. I get a bit self-conscious in front of a camera too sometimes.
Author
I absolutely, DEFINITELY feel “silly” when I have to do it, Lorna – and unless we’re taking the p*ss that’s not really the best sentiment to come across, is it…?!!
I’m with Sue on the puckered lips thing – not my best look….
The only thing about winking is that the split second AFTER the wink gives most people (ok, maybe I think it’s just me) a really twinkly look and mischievious smile, so worth it for that.
Hope you enjoy all things Valentine-ish. I’m off on a GALentine’s weekend to foodie heaven (Asheville NC), just because it’s the only time we could all make it.
Cheers,
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Hehe I definitely DON’T the twinkly look thing going on, Mary Katherine… just a whole bunch of awkwardness, lol!! 😉
Do you know what I’ve never really thought about it! But am guilty of pursing my lips in a Christmas blog a few years ago!!! come to think of it, yes it’s not very sophisticated is it! I’ll save my blowing kisses for my grandkids now – I do it all the time to them – ha ha ha. xx Thanks for hosting. Jacqui
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On your own blog doing it for your own reasons is fine with me, Jacqui… it’s the forced “doing it for brands” thing I can’t bear, when it’s part of an advertising or social campaign! If it’s your thing it’ll come across as natural, if it’s not it won’t – but maybe they should really be aimed at kids only, lol!
you are my age!! yes, i am just embarking on the social media journey as a blogger, and i am starting to do my fashion upcycles–all the pictures i do are cringing me out…you’ve been doing this for quite sometime! so thought a ‘blowing kiss’ would be old hat for you! love your candor, your honesty…
xo eva
Author
Rather than old hat it’s become a recent thing I’ve been asked to do, Eva – and I’m really weirded out by it!!
As for your own photos, don’t worry you’ll get used to it… to me a while but you WILL find it easier the more you do it, I promise – good luck! x
Wouldn’t recommend it as a Boomer. The older you get the more unattractive it becomes – lips puckered with lines. No blowing kisses for me!
Not all of us age the same thi. My husband’s half my age, I’ll keep blowing kisses! No lip wrinkles here, actually at 50 I have no wrinkles at all!
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Wow Kim what’s your secret if you have zero wrinkles…?!!
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That IS true, Gail – I could tell them that’s the reason I won’t do it (don’t want to wrinkle my skin, lol!!)
Haha! Blowing you a kiss Catherine! xx
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Hehe back atcha, lovely Laurie! 😉
I don’t think it’s about our age per se. I think is it something that personally we would do in real life. I’ll do it, but it’s not really “me”. I’m more of a wave girl.
XOOX
Jodie
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Hmm I hadn’t really thought of it that way, Jodie – maybe you’re right: it’s probably because I was thinking that it’s what SO many younger girls do on social media!
I’m with you Catherine. Ickk. I say, do it ironically…or not at all. 🙂 But then again I was never a kissy face, blowing kisses kind of person even when I was in my twenties.
Author
Funnily enough I am VERY much a giving kisses person IRL, Sue – so it kinda doesn’t make sense that I don’t like doing the blowing kisses thing for the camera?! Maybe because it has to be forced that I don’t like it #ThinkingEmoji
This post made me smile. I hadn’t thought too much of it before your post and I’ve been “guilty” of a blowing kiss pose. I think the one that doesn’t make sense to me is the “duck face” pose. Just why?
Author
If it was on your own feed that’s kinda okay with me, Chrissy – you’re doing it because you want to and it’s not for any sort of advertising or social feed thing for a brand… but oh gawd YES to the awful duck faces, please make them stop 🙁