You What Now? I Have No Idea What These 10 Modern Things Are

You What Now? I Have No Idea What These 10 Modern Things Are | Not Dressed As Lamb, Over 50 Fashion & Lifestyle blog

Back in about 2010 or so, Keith and I were watching an episode of The Xtra Factor. The presenter said something about You can tweet us at blah blah blah – and use the hashtag blah blah. Er, hashtag WHAT now?

I can remember turning to Keith and saying, What the hell IS a hashtag? Do YOU know?

It was met with a blank stare and shrugged shoulders. Neither of us had a clue what “using a hashtag” meant.

Of course, as time went on we more than learned what a hashtag was… and now can’t imagine not knowing what a hashtag is, or life without them. Heck, we even use hashtags in conversation, because, you know, Hashtag #LivingMyBestLife. Because, er, Hashtag #FOMO!

 

[Reading time: 6 mins]

 

There ALWAYS seems to be a constant stream of cultural, social or economic things that I’m clueless about (I know that makes me sound like an old person, lol). And with such rapid technological advancements and the invasion of social media into our homes (and pockets/palms) and endless information online these days, it seems there’ll always be things we’re in the dark about.

But I beg of you, pleeeease tell me I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what the following things are…

 

What are these 10 modern things (because I have absolutely no idea)?

 

Bitcoin

Honestly, I don’t know WHAT Bitcoin is, HOW it works, or WHAT it’s for. Currency I think, because of the “coin” part. That’s just about all I could tell you. And it’s maybe… an online currency? Is it something to do with shares…? I don’t know anyone who uses it, I’ve never heard anyone say anything about having used it, and I never heard anything on the news or similar about it being launched or it being the next big thing or anything. It was just sort of… there one day. And eventually I thought to myself, what IS Bitcoin, exactly? Do I need it? Will it affect my life? What’s wrong with just using PayPal, isn’t that the same?

 

Matcha tea

Matcha tea has probably been around for ages. But what the hell IS it, exactly? Is matcha a special blend (like Earl Grey or English Breakfast) or is it the way it’s made? How many ways can you make tea with matcha? Isn’t matcha tea a powder? And if so, what is the powder made from – is it ground-up tea leaves? Do you add it to other foods (like smoothies) or do you just stir it into hot water (like you would with granulated coffee) to make a brew?

And also, even more confusing: bubble tea. I mean, what? What are the bubbles made from? Do they stay as bubbles in your tea or do they dissolve? Why do we need bubbles? Or is it not actual bubbles at all but just the name for a blend of tea, or the way it’s made (is it cold)?

So many questions.

 

Taylor Swift songs

Okay, so of course I know who Taylor Swift is; I haven’t been living under that big a rock for the last 20 years. But there’s always so much hype around Taylor Swift’s songs and when she’s on tour (I’m very confused about this voucher thing for getting tickets? You have to do what now?), and it bemuses me because I try to think of just ONE Taylor Swift song, and… I can’t. I think there’s one I might recognise – something about, er, and it goes, er… tell you what, you play it and I’ll tell you if I’ve heard it.

And I’ll go, Yep, that’s Taylor Swift. Ummm, well I think it is…

 

Baby shark

I know it’s followed by, do do do, do do, do do do do… or something. So – is baby shark a TV show? Is it a song? Is it a toy? All of the above? I know it must be a kid’s thing, but the only time I’ve ever seen or heard it referred to is when someone says something about a shark and someone chimes in with Baby shark, do do do do do. I would like it known that I obviously do not know my “dos” from my “doo doos” and in what order/quantity they come. That’s all I DOO know.

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ChatGPT

I only heard of ChatGPT for the first time a few months ago, and I think it’s something to do with AI. So I’m guessing it’s an AI WhatsApp (from the “chat” bit)? Does it generate conversations or something on your behalf or do we have chats with robots that are generated by AI, in which case: what for? Half the time I can’t think of reasons for people to need stuff like this [I live a sheltered life…], so I can never wrap my head around why they were invented/created or for what purpose.

So my guess is AI chat stuff – but why?

 

Every nominee at The Brits

Honestly, if I ever catch a bit of The Brits on TV I swear that I HAVE, indeed, been living under a rock for god-knows how many years. It’s where I go full “parent mode” without actually being a parent because I’ll watch it and go, Who? Who is that? Who are they? I’ve never heard of them. Or them. Best single? I’ve never heard it in my life. Who’s presenting the award? Never heard of them either.

The irony of not having kids is that I essentially become my mother during anything to do with modern music, as I (well, Keith too, let’s not forget him “doing a dad”) am constantly asking WHO?? with every nomination that’s announced. We have more access to more music at the touch of our fingertips than we could ever have imagined when WE were kids, yet here I am, not having heard pretty much anything that was released this century. With the great exception of Harry Styles, of course.

 

Roblox

So this, I presume, is a kid’s thing. Is it played online? Is it a video game, or maybe a TV show? I’ve no idea. It sounds like a modern-day equivalent of Tetris or the Sims to me (not that I really understood what Sims were, either), but I don’t have a clue. When someone says “Roblox” my head brings up images of those little Playmobil people but in electronic version… I’m not basing that on anything apart from images I’ve maybe seen online, you understand.

Most inventions these days are given a portmanteau word mashup, so I guess Rob-lox is… robot bollocks?! (I’m seriously laughing at my own joke there.)

 

Keto diet

As someone who doesn’t “do” diets – meaning specific ones with names – this is the one I still don’t understand anything about. I knew Atkins was the all-meat and dairy, no carbs one (I think) and the cabbage diet was self-explanatory, but Keto… I dunno. I can’t think what it might be: maybe something to do with eating a lot of berries, like the caveman diet? Or is Keto the proper name for the caveman diet? Or eating foods that use kinetic energy perhaps (that’s just because it starts with “K”, now I’m clutching at straws) – it wouldn’t be the first ridiculous basis for a diet. Or is it more about when you eat and in certain quantities?

I’m clueless.

 

Venmo

Now this… I keep hearing Venmo being mentioned, but it’s the one thing on this list that I don’t even know what realm it comes under. It could be an AI thing. It could be a diet. It could be a social media platform. It could be a dating app. It could be… what? What is it? Is it something to do with work (meaning employment), like Zoom? I keep getting it mixed up with Vimeo, which I do know is a video-sharing service, like an artisan YouTube. Or is Venmo a TV streaming service? There are millions of those so it could be that.

I’m 100% in the dark with this one. Not a scooby.

 

4K

I had to add this one on the end because those of you who’ve ever watched Celebrity Juice in the UK will know that the presenter Keith Lemon says [in the show’s titles], What the fork is 4K, anyway? – so whenever Keith (that’s my husband Keith, oh god this is gonna get confusing) and I see anything to do with 4K, we always say What the fork is 4K, anyway? in a Leeds accent*.

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*That’s Keith Lemon’s accent, not husband Keith’s accent. Husband Keith has got nothing but dulcet Sarf London tones all the way. The two accents sound nothing like each other.

And to be honest, I really DON’T know what tf 4K is (anyway). I’m presuming it’s better than HD-quality stuff, meaning the format things have been filmed in. I thought that HD was “the best”, but maybe 4K is better? If it is, then what’s the 4? What does the “K” stand for?

 

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These things I DO know (now)

I thought I should add a few other things that I’ve become acquainted with over the years. When these things were first around I was really clueless about what they were or what they did, or who they were… why does no one ever “announce” this stuff? Why are they just in everyday usage/language/situations without anyone ever saying “Here’s a new thing and it’s really great and here’s what it is/does/is for”?

Whyyyy 😩

 

Things I didn’t know for AGES what they were (but do now):

Hashtags. See opening paragraph.

Flossing. The dance move, not the dental procedure. See also: dabbing.

The Jonas Brothers. They were just everywhere all at once, and I had no clue what they were famous for. Actors? Singers? Actually, maybe I still don’t really know.

Zoom calls. It wasn’t till the pandemic that I really found out.

Hey Duggee. Having now seen it with my 15-month-old great-nephew, I know what Hey Duggee is. And I get the hype.

MP3 player. Now we’re going back… I was still in “CD Walkman” stage when I found out. If anyone under 25 is reading this (or have I grossly underestimated that age), they’re now probably wondering what the hell an MP3 is.

MB. GB. Terrabytes(?!). Bytes in general. Still not sure of their quantity though: “It’s got 32GB of storage!” Me: “Er… is that a lot?” (You could say 3 or you could say 300 to me, I don’t know how much is a lot and how much is a little.) But I do know it’s memory storage. Or something.

 

Do I NEED to know what the 10 things are?

So, should I go ahead and find out what the 10 things I listed are? Or should I forge on in blissful ignorance, never knowing if matcha tea is better than my favourite green jasmine or what baby shark actually is and whether he/she/it will earworm me do-do death?

There’s no need to give me any explanations in the comments; however, I might look these things up one day if there’s a reason to and I just can’t go on living not knowing what they are. In the meantime I’m quite enjoying my joyous naivety 😉

 

Do you also not know what some of these things are? Any of your own “stuff you don’t know what it is”?

[Please note I’m shamefully aware of the appalling grammar of both of those sentences. The title of this blog post bestowed a grammatical nightmare upon me.]

Share your own naiveties with me in the comments, go go go…!

 

Thanks for reading xoxo

Catherine signature

 

P.S. The lead image used is purely for illustration, not literal: I know that’s not a shark in the image and I know I haven’t included a girl blowing bubblegum and floating away in the list as something I don’t understand. It just looks fun, ’tis all.

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34 Comments

  1. Fiona Seymour
    16 August 2023 / 11:02 pm

    OK Catherine: So I’m a 50 something computer geek (yes not many other girls in my class!) who’s been loving your blog forever and I can answer some of the questions you raise:
    Bitcoin is an encrypted currency which you can use like money but anonymously – the problem is that its value changes and people steal it. Also I think it seems most useful to criminals and others doing illegal things. I suspect that explanation will raise 10 more questions!
    Yes Matcha is ground green tea leaves and they make nice drinks from it at places like Peets Coffee here in California where I live. Some are fans of getting more antioxidants from it but that’s another story.
    ChatGPT is a very clever Artificial Intelligence program which you can play with at chat.openai.com – you can ask it something complex like “explain what happened in the last Paris fashion week in the style of [your favorite comedian]” – it will give you a complete and credible answer. So yes it is scary especially when you realize it learned how to do this by reading the ENTIRE internet!
    OK I’ll speed up now. as you’re probably getting a headache from tech overload: the keto diet seems v similar to Atkins (low carbs); Venmo is like Paypal in many ways (mobile payments); and yes 4K is a higher resolution TV image than HDTV, meaning more dots of light on the screen. However once you get to my age you can’t tell the difference unless you are a bird of prey!
    That’s it for now! Hugs,

    • Catherine
      Author
      17 August 2023 / 9:03 pm

      Thank you Fiona – I have to admit I’ve skim-read your comment as I was happy in my ignorance of knowing what these things were… I’ll keep your comment as reference in case I need to know what they are in the future! As I said I’m rather happy in my not knowing 😉 hee hee

  2. 16 August 2023 / 11:47 am

    What a fun post, Catherine! I know what most of the things are that you mentioned, with the exception of Venmo and the Brit awards singers LOL! I use Chat-GPT all the time, and I often listen to Taylor Swift songs too.
    I know what flossing is but I CANNOT do it! My ten year old niece tried to teach me but…nope, can’t do it. Is it my age??
    Hugs
    Suzy xx

    • Catherine
      Author
      17 August 2023 / 9:05 pm

      Hehe I can do flossing Suzy but only really, really slowly… as soon as I speed up I totally lose it!!!!! 😉

  3. Michelle Springer
    12 August 2023 / 10:22 pm

    I know what most of those things are- the advantages of working in a library. Also, Matcha tea gives me life (I think I’ve finally mastered the art of making it myself). And if I hear the Baby Shark song one more time, I may rip my ears off!
    I don’t use all the things (like Venmo), but I am glad that my job keeps me from being a total crotchety old lady!

    • Catherine
      Author
      17 August 2023 / 9:11 pm

      Hmm now I’m actually intrigued about matcha tea, Michelle!! If there’s an art to mastering it, it can’t be all that easy I guess?!

      Keith and I were talking about what to have for dinner the other day and he started singing “baby spuds, do do do…” and I said that could be like the baby shark song (don’t forget I’ve never heard it, only seen it written when someone mentions sharks).

      He looked at me like I was crazy – I had to explain that I’d never HEARD it, and he had to explain that that was the ACTUAL tune ;P

  4. 12 August 2023 / 7:39 pm

    I absolutely adored reading this post. I agree with so many!

    The Reluctant Blogger| thereluctantblogger.co.uk

    • Catherine
      Author
      12 August 2023 / 10:14 pm

      Aww thank you Danielle! I’m surprised you don’t know a lot of them either 😉

  5. 11 August 2023 / 2:15 pm

    I know most of the things that you mentioned-It is helps that I am a middle school teacher. Very nice.

    • Catherine
      Author
      11 August 2023 / 2:43 pm

      Hehe Patrick I thought that’d be the case having loads of young people in my own family – seems I’m more clued up on modern things than they are, they don’t know anything about this sort of stuff either…!! 😉

  6. 10 August 2023 / 8:12 pm

    I do know some of the things you mentioned and have heard of some other things, but don’t know how a lot of them work! Makes me realise that I’m getting so old, I don’t even want to know what they are … lol. Baby shark is sung by my granddaughter so obviously I have to join in! Jacqui x

    • Catherine
      Author
      10 August 2023 / 9:40 pm

      Weirdly, despite having four great nieces/nephews between the ages of 15 months and 11 years, I’ve never heard any of them sing baby shark Jacqui… neither have their parents (my nieces)! Sometimes I think I know more modern stuff than they do, lol 😉

  7. 8 August 2023 / 8:19 pm

    All of this is so interesting—and at 85 I’m quite in the dark and really don’t mind it that way.

    • Catherine
      Author
      10 August 2023 / 9:38 pm

      Charlotte lovely to have you here! Thank you for commenting… and I agree about being in the dark about some things and not minding!

  8. Donna M
    8 August 2023 / 2:12 pm

    Hi! New reader here! Sent to you by Jodie Filigomo (her blog is Jodie’s Touch of Style) and she thought your post was so funny. So she passed it along on her blog and I of course had to read it because anything funny is SO needed in this world!! And especially on a Tuesday morning!!
    So, yes, with you on many of these things (I’m 67), the biggest HUH? is Bitcoin for me. But with all the negative hype lately about Bitcoin people being arrested, losing fortunes in Bitcoin, etc., I’m so happy to be living in Bitcoin ignorance! They can keep that one! The rest, I’m pretty up to date with, because when I hear these phrases, like matcha tea, I Google it. I Google EVERYTHING!! All in my quest to fill my brain with useless info that may help me in Jeopardy, but have really no use being in there. Probably taking up space that algebra equations used to. And I didn’t need that info apparently either, in spite of my teacher saying I would!
    In the end, I say Google what you don’t know, keep what you think you might need one day (Jeopardy!!), and discard the rest. Because you know that in another 5 seconds, some other new word or phrase will be the “it” word and we’ll have to start all over again!

    • Catherine
      Author
      10 August 2023 / 9:37 pm

      Donna hello – lovely to e-meet you… and thank you Jodie for recommending my blog post!

      I’m definitely in Bitcoin ignorance like you, but although I do Google everything I guess I want to know about, I think the fact that I haven’t Googled the things in my list means I’m just not that interested in them. I have selective curiosity, you might say, hehe 😀

  9. Lizzie
    8 August 2023 / 1:35 pm

    Definitely resonated with me, and made me laugh! Roblox is familiar, because my son used to be obsessed with it, and would spend hours ‘mining stuff’ to ‘get stuff’… Bitcoin, I am utterly baffled by… As if capitalism weren’t mad enough, some crazy money-obsessed person had to invent money that doesn’t even exist, and has managed to get other money-obsessed people to invest in it? WTF?!

    • Catherine
      Author
      10 August 2023 / 9:34 pm

      Now you’ve said “mining stuff” about Roblox I’m even more confused, Lizzie!! lol 😉

      Totally with you on the Bitcoin thing… and I’ve just been been reminded of another similar thing today I saw: crypto currency? What the WHAT now??!!!!

  10. 8 August 2023 / 12:45 pm

    Hahaha this is so brilliant!! Most of these I know but a couple I didn’t and understand your bewilderment! Roblox?!? Bollox indeed

    • Catherine
      Author
      8 August 2023 / 7:05 pm

      Robot bollocks… STILL laughing at my own joke Sandie LOLOLLOL 😉 Thank you hon x

  11. Beth McKinlay
    8 August 2023 / 1:49 am

    I’m with you on all of those, but especially Taylor Swift. Also I think the reason we don’t know get it is because secretly deep down we don’t care. We Gen Xers can work anything out in a second if we feel like it. We just know we don’t need to.

    • Catherine
      Author
      8 August 2023 / 7:04 pm

      I think you’ve hit the nail on the head Beth – I KNOW I can look this stuff up and find out, I just secretly enjoy not knowing!! 😉

  12. Lynn
    7 August 2023 / 9:30 pm

    If one crosses between the regular world and the (awesomeness of) geekery, some of the list is very familiar…. but other bits are quite baffling 😀 Social media, anything that’s on ITV, sport, cars, running stuff, Maths homework… just, qué?

    Also ‘midaxi’ – is that the new smart casual? Not mid not quite maxi? But how do you know, given we’re all a different height?

    What is this “off side rule” people speak of? That and ‘an over’? Over what? Over easy? Why isn’t it over, I’m sooo bored…! 🙂 Personal Bests? Umm. What? 🙂

    A friend who’s son works in IT, she said he was into Bitcoin early on, and he paid off his mortgage with the money he made. No, I’m not really sure why Bitcoin is a thing. Not something I see a lot of in the local Co-op 🙂

    I’m afraid I’m aware of 4K and megabytes (giga, tera, peta, exa!) from working with IT wizards and my son is into gaming. Not quite sure why “refresh rate” or “the mouse has good DPI” is important though! Maybe I should ask? I think most of my photos on the phone are around 3 megabytes each and if a gigabyte is 1,024 mb…. That’s a lot of photos!

    … and then, when think you’ve caught up, suddenly it’s MFA this, or ‘second factor’.

    • Catherine
      Author
      8 August 2023 / 7:02 pm

      “Anything that’s on ITV” made me laugh so much, Lynn!! For me it’s the ITV2 shows that leave me cold, maybe that goes for you too??!

      I know the offside rule as I have a football fan of a husband (though I did always watch footie before we met so knew it anyway). But your comment about someone paying off their mortgage because of Bitcoin… WHAAAAAAAAT OMG

      You lost me with the techy jargon – that I really have no clue about, lol!!

  13. Becky
    7 August 2023 / 8:26 pm

    Hi! I love this so much. I’m 48 and relate to both the confusion and humor you presented it with. This was a fun afternoon read. Thank you Catherine!

    • Catherine
      Author
      8 August 2023 / 6:56 pm

      Becky I’m so glad you liked it, thank you! It was a fun post to write 😉

  14. Michelle Jeffries
    7 August 2023 / 7:28 pm

    I have too many children and some have their own children.
    They keep me in the loop wether I want to be or not. However, matcha, keto, Venmo, and mp3 I’m up to speed with on my own. (How are you living withOUT Venmo..?)

    Regarding awards shows… it is perfectly ok not to know who these mediocre, lowest common denominator, self adulating people are. When I was young and I DID know who the nominees were … I always thought they were terrible choices. No one I ever loved was nominated. I decided 30 years ago…… global award shows are not made for me. And that’s ok.

    I am actually confused by Harry Styles, and twitter (I know what is… but WHY?) And I am 100% with you on ChatGPT and most of whatever AI is currently doing. I don’t even care to know.

    Going to keep my head focused. I need all my thinking space for travel deals and great cocktail recipes.

    • Catherine
      Author
      8 August 2023 / 6:55 pm

      After having sort of realised what Venmo is from an earlier comment from someone else, I can now say I seem to have got by with PayPal till now – that’s if it’s a way to transfer money to others? I also do direct BACs transfers very quickly on my banking app, so at the moment I don’t know how I’m missing out by not using Venmo, LOL (my husband said he’d never even heard of it and no one has ever asked me if I use it)!!

      It’s funny what you said about having children and grandchildren who keep ypou in the loop… although I don’t have kids I’ve been an auntie since I was 14, and of about 8 nieces and nephews three of them have kids now too. But my nieces (who are grown up now) have ALWAYS been useless at keeping me up to date with current things, half the time I know more modern things than them?!!

      Harry Styles is just about the only current artist I actually listen to, but that’s because I was a massive fan of him as a person first. Thought I’d give his stuff a listen to see how far he’d come from his 1D days… and I was MORE than pleasantly surprised! Love that man sooooo much 😀

  15. Frieda
    7 August 2023 / 6:34 pm

    A reader under 30 here and I felt suddenly very young when I knew the first five things quite well. But after that came some really strange stuff and I also don’t know most of the things mentioned which you know now. Thanks for the laugh!
    I would recommend trying out the bubble tea (the original one with real blended fruits and tapoica pearls, not the sugary stuff for kids with alginate pearls) and the matcha latte because they are extremely delicious if made right.

    • Catherine
      Author
      8 August 2023 / 6:50 pm

      Hehe Frieda it goes to show how different generations have such different cultural experiences!! One of my nieces (25 yo) mentioned not so long ago that she’d never seen a cassette tape before, and she asked how to put a record on because she didn’t have a clue how the record player worked… maybe you’re the same?! 😉

      I’m still in the dark a bit about bubble tea from what you’ve said – I have to admit you haven’t exactly sold it to me with “tapioca pearls”, LOL!!!

  16. Kareema
    7 August 2023 / 6:12 pm

    Oh Catherine this made me chuckle….I’m as in the dark as you are and probably more so as you mentioned some things that I’ve never heard of until I read this post (4k, chat GTP & venmo). I’m quite happy being in the dark to be fair and am usually the one in the group thats saying ‘what the heck are you talking about’ xx

    • Catherine
      Author
      8 August 2023 / 6:47 pm

      I quite like being in the dark about a lot of things too, Kareema – I dunno, it makes life more interesting to not know everything about everything and preserve a little naivety…! 😀

  17. 7 August 2023 / 6:07 pm

    Girl. SO with you on EVERY ONE OF THESE except Venmo. It’s what my girlfriends and I now use to send each other money when one of has paid for the concert tickets and another paid for the gasoline, etc. And WE only know what it is from THIER Gen Z children. Face it – we’re old. All we need to do now is start saying “kids today”, and wearing sandals with socks. Love you, friend.

    • Catherine
      Author
      8 August 2023 / 6:46 pm

      Ahhhh I can now tell what “realm” Venmo comes under, MK… so maybe when I said [under Bitcoin] what’s wrong with using PayPal, that sentence would have been more relevant here!? LOL

      I mentioned Venmo to Keith and he’d never even heard of it 😉

      So glad you liked the post and so glad most of these are not just me!!!!!!!

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