My Feelings of Imposter Syndrome at the L’Oréal TV Ad Shoot

My Feelings of Imposter Syndrome at the L'Oréal TV Ad Shoot: Feelings of Imposter Syndrome and How I Overcame It | Not Dressed As Lamb, Over 40 Style Blogger

I nervously came out from behind the changing screen in a too-small-for-me outfit, and 10 glamorous executives all stared at me and started gabbling away to each other in French.

I just wanted the ground to swallow me up whole.

This was back in March, and probably a low point for me in terms of my confidence and self-esteem. The smiling, confident woman with the glorious red tresses you see in the L’Oréal (Olia by Garnier) hair colourant TV advert is not the same person that was inside me that week.

That moment when I came out from the changing screen was the first time I felt utterly out of my depth – and incredibly vulnerable – during my blogging career. I honestly wondered why I was there. Imposter syndrome had well and truly kicked in.

 

Disclosure: The TV ad was a paid partnership with L’Oréal but this post is not part of it (all opinions are my own and not the views of L’Oréal). This blog uses affiliate links at no cost to you. Full disclosure

 

Here’s the ad in case you haven’t seen it…

 

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It’s hard to believe that the woman in that advert felt like she didn’t belong, right? That she felt that they’d got the wrong person FOR SURE, that those stunning French executives were going to take one look at her in that ill-fitting outfit and think, Why on earth did we ask this frumpy, middle-aged woman to be in a national TV advert…?

 

How I got the L’Oréal gig

To start back at the beginning… several people have asked me how the whole TV advert thing came about. To be honest it’s really straightforward: they just emailed and asked me – it was that simple. I must have been on their mailing list/list of potential bloggers to work with already, as I had been asked to take part in the event that launched the Olia hair colourant a couple of years previously. Just a lunch with other bloggers, no video/TV coverage or anything like that.

But that offer was retracted at the last minute, and I never knew why. So from the beginning, and despite my excitement when the offer came through, I was already thinking, This isn’t going to happen, they’re going to withdraw the offer any minute, there’s no way I’ll REALLY be filming in Prague and end up being in an ad on TV.

I was wrong. It DID happen, we DID film it, and it DID end up on TV. And even more than that, I ended up not sharing an advert with the three other girls who’d been chosen to be in the ad, but L’Oréal made an ad featuring just me – the first time they’d ever featured only one person in an Olia ad.

Of course at the time I didn’t know that would happen. Even during filming I thought that I might get left on the cutting room floor, in the same way I was the only model (I say “model” with a huge pinch of salt) whose images weren’t used in a campaign for a hairdressing chain. I’m sure being left out happens to models and actors all the time, but modelling isn’t what I do – it’s a small part of what I do. So that sort of rejection doesn’t happen on a daily basis in the same way, and it does hurt a bit.

It makes you ask the question, If you were going to leave me out anyway, why did you ask me to take part? Or was I so rubbish that the footage/images of me were unusable?

 

Behind the scenes

I must start by saying that EVERYONE involved in the shoot couldn’t have been any nicer or taken better care of me. The feelings of imposter syndrome were 100% down to me, and nothing else. It was my own insecurities and how I felt about myself at the time that dictated my feelings that week.

To give you an outline of how it worked, the whole operation (for me) took almost five full days, including all my travelling time up to London and flying out to Prague. L’Oréal weren’t filming just a UK advert, they were filming the same advert for about 10 European countries, one after the other. It started with us (the UK), then France the next day, with maybe Spain, Italy, Germany, etc. after that. We had one full day of hair (dyeing of course!) and wardrobe, with the next day dedicated to two photo shoots, one video shoot for the advert and one filming social media content.

It’s a huge understatement to say it was intense.

If I were to include ALL the people involved in the whole operation, including models, stylists, PR people, all the L’Oréal execs, drivers, caterers, studio bosses, runners, etc. etc. then I would guess that around 150 people were involved. It was a MASSIVE operation, and although a little overwhelming, it was incredibly exciting.

We stayed in a stunning boutique hotel. Everything was taken care of for us, from a bouquet of flowers in our rooms to dedicated drivers taking us door to door to all the room service we wanted. We were treated incredibly well, and at no point did anyone make me feel out of place, or like I shouldn’t be there. In other words, no individual was responsible for making me feel bad or that I was the wrong person for the job.

I did that all by myself.

 

My Feelings of Imposter Syndrome at the L'Oréal TV Ad Shoot: Feelings of Imposter Syndrome and How I Overcame It | Not Dressed As Lamb, Over 40 Style Blogger

Above: Wardrobe constantly adjusting everything. Dig those groovy slippers.

 

My own insecurities and the low point for me

The first day in the studio was hectic but exciting – my hair was dyed the bright copper shade I still have today (yep I still use the exact same hair colourant!), I had my nails done, I chatted to the (incredibly motivational and upbeat) director about what to expect during filming the next day – and off to wardrobe I went.

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This was when I started getting uncomfortable. It was all down to my appearance and how I felt about it.

To explain:

Earlier this year I’d hit the heaviest weight I’d been in my life ever, and by a very long way. Although I’d do it all again for him in a heartbeat, Riley was probably getting doggy dementia and basically just couldn’t go through the night without weeing every 1-2 hours or barking for us. So one or the other of us would sleep downstairs with him every night, and we were too tired to exercise the next day or even cook properly for ourselves. He only plodded on his (getting shorter by the day) dog walks so they certainly didn’t keep us fit.

So many, many months of no exercise, no sleep and too many beers and pizzas had taken their toll on my weight. I could no longer fit into the bigger clothes I’d bought last year due to my regular clothes being too small. I’d increased by 2-3 dress sizes and really didn’t like what I saw in the mirror BUT more importantly, I was incredibly unfit and my (our) health was starting to really worry me.

Therefore, when I went off to wardrobe and tried on that first outfit, I could see that I was bulging out of both the top and trousers – I’d probably gone up a size since I told them what my dress size was during the initial negotiations. I didn’t need a mirror to see that it looked DREADFUL on me.

You know when you’re in a changing room and you try on something that looks terrible and doesn’t even fit, but your other half/best friend/sister/mum is waiting patiently outside for you to come out and show them? And you put your other clothes back on because THERE’S NO WAY I’M GOING OUT IN THIS OUTFIT TO SHOW THEM (AND HALF THE SHOP AS WELL?) 

Imagine that happening, but you HAVE to come out of the changing room. You HAVE to show a room full of stylists, PR people and the most beautiful, glamorous, French female executives from the biggest beauty brand in the world what you look like in that outfit. Lots of red lips, long dark hair and slender figures were staring right at me and my unfit, middle-aged body in a too-tight outfit.

(Now I look back I’m sure they weren’t THAT glamorous and they weren’t THAT model-like, but at the time it seemed like they should have been the ones in the advert, not me.)

And that was when something inside me snapped – I just wanted to run away. Having A-level-standard French, I could understand odd words in their gabbling to each other but not enough to get the gist of the conversation. For example, I heard “malheureusement…” – What do they mean, unfortunately? Unfortunately/regrettably WHAT?! At that moment I wished I didn’t know any French whatsoever as me catching the odd word here and there wasn’t helping.

Thankfully we did eventually find something that fit, though I wasn’t overly happy about the choice of outfit. It was just the best of what actually fit me. I was even asked if I’d brought anything that might work, but they required neutral colours and a plain neckline – I hadn’t brought anything but pattern and colour with me. I had the perfect dress at home, but of course it didn’t occur to me that they might want me in my own clothes so at home it stayed.

It then didn’t help my self-esteem to see the three other girls looking amazing in three gorgeous outfits. All in all, it wasn’t a good day in terms of how I felt about myself.

And this is the rub: I went back to the hotel that evening and cried. I had to get it out of my system because the next day was filming day, and there was no way I could let my own insecurities affect my performance in front of the camera.

I didn’t tell/call Keith (I didn’t want him to worry seeing as he wasn’t there with me and couldn’t give me a hug). Instead, I WhatsApped my girlfriends for some moral support and to explain how I was feeling. I said that I felt like I was the biggest fraud. That I was wondering why on earth they picked me when – in my eyes – I basically looked the worst I’ve ever looked.

I was feeling imposter syndrome to the nth degree. But (and this is why they’re my closest female friends) they rallied round and gave me the boost I needed. They told me that L’Oréal wouldn’t have picked me if any of what I was feeling about being frumpy and middle aged was true.

And before I went to bed I did pull myself together and thought, Right, you have to own this. There’s no getting out of it, too many people (and a very large production) are relying on you. You DO belong, you have GREAT hair(!), you CAN be natural in front of the camera because you’ve done this many times before. Get out there and fake that confidence.

And that’s what I did.

My Feelings of Imposter Syndrome at the L'Oréal TV Ad Shoot: Feelings of Imposter Syndrome and How I Overcame It | Not Dressed As Lamb, Over 40 Style Blogger

Above: the photo shoot before the video shoot. We all wore black for the photos, this is not the outfit I was referring to before.

 

Overcoming imposter syndrome

The next day we started very early. Straight into hair and makeup, which took an absolute AGE… it’s for a hair colourant advert, so you can imagine how long they spent on my hair. I must have had about eight people standing around discussing/looking at/styling my hair at one point.

Once my hair and makeup was done and I was dressed (all of us wore all-black for the photo shoot, the advert filming had us all in different outfits), I felt a whole lot better. Still nervous, yes, but it was good that I had a night’s sleep in between my crazy feelings of being an imposter and the actual shooting.

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There was a lot of sitting around in between the two different photo shoots and the video shoot. As before, everyone took very good care of me (us) and I had time to read my book and catch up on social. The studio had its own café/restaurant where you could get whatever you liked at any time. I kept being called back into hair and makeup in between shoots to keep me looking fresh.

I was the last to shoot the video (TV ad) and by that point I felt pretty good. The photo shoots seemed to go well, and despite being in the most enormous studio with the most enormous lights all around me and the most enormous number of people behind the lights (that I couldn’t even see), I think I delivered what I had to say pretty confidently. It took an enormous amount of smiling and suppressing the nagging feelings of doubt inside me to get through it, but get through it I did.

I realised I must have done okay because I got a lovely round of applause from the crew when we wrapped (how much does that make me sound like I think I’m Meryl Streep or something) – though I’m sure the other girls got the same too – and that was it. Straight back to the hotel (it was late), room service ordered, a bath and bed. A few hours the next morning for sightseeing before catching our plane back to London, and it was all over.

What gave me a bit of boost at the end of the filming was the fact that not only my PR contact told me I did really well, but the L’Oréal brand manager spoke to me and said he was super impressed and that I was a natural in front of the camera.

Now I’m NOT saying this to boast – far from it! – it’s to explain that despite what you think about yourself, if you’re trying your hardest then others are invariably impressed with you. And that all those feelings of imposter syndrome are a waste of time.

My Feelings of Imposter Syndrome at the L'Oréal TV Ad Shoot: Feelings of Imposter Syndrome and How I Overcame It | Not Dressed As Lamb, Over 40 Style Blogger

What everyone else saw on the monitor during filming.

 

Going forward

It’s one of those situations where no matter WHAT anyone tells you about how you look, you will always have a subjective point of view. And everyone else has an objective point of view about you. No one can tell you how you SHOULD feel – others can help you sway your opinion, but being told you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way doesn’t help. The way I feel about how I look is all down to me and the pressures I put on myself.

I don’t compare how I look to other people. I compare how I look to how I look when I’m at my healthiest and happiest, because that is my healthy weight. That is me at my fittest. The extra weight I’d been carrying represented my unhealthy lifestyle, and that is what gets me so down. It represents a future life of health problems, extreme tiredness and lethargy, plus more and more frequent headaches, all of which I’d been suffering for quite a while.

(But that’s a subject for another time. Please understand I’m not looking for compliments, I’m just explaining what goes on in my head.)

In the end, it’s the results that speak for themselves. Seeing how I looked on the monitor (above) made me realise that I didn’t actually look all that bad… my hair was pretty incredible (HOW was that my hair?!), and of course you’re only filmed from the chest up. Even if I HAD worn trousers that were too small no one would have seen them anyway.

I got a lot of praise from someone that mattered (the UK brand manager) as well as many others. And finally, the fact that they dedicated one whole advert to just my story – apart from being quite astonishing – goes to show that I must have been the right person for the job after all. When the final ad came out I actually loved (yes, LOVED!) the next-to-last shot when I’m smiling and looking up.

When I got home from Prague, I made a pact with myself that I mustn’t ever feel like that again. I embarked on a healthier lifestyle (as much as we could considering we still had our beloved Riley till the end of June) and I’m starting to see results at last. Even if life does throw something at me again that hampers my effort to stay on top of a healthy lifestyle, I know now that my appearance does not affect my ability or suitability to do something.

If L’Oréal were impressed with me when I was at my lowest level of self-esteem, then I should never let those feelings of imposter syndrome creep in ever again. If someone wants you at a particular place to do a particular thing, you ARE the right person for the job.

End of.

Have you ever suffered from imposter syndrome – what was the situation and how did you overcome it? Do tell us in the comments!

Catherine signature

My Feelings of Imposter Syndrome at the L'Oréal TV Ad Shoot: Feelings of Imposter Syndrome and How I Overcame It | Not Dressed As Lamb, Over 40 Style Blogger

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37 Comments

  1. October 9, 2019 / 7:21 am

    It surprises me that you felt so insecure as you do come across as a confident person. But putting on extra weight is indeed a bummer. I saw the video and indeed you are a natural. A big honour to be the only one featuring this UK ad. Well done dear.
    Greetje

  2. September 10, 2019 / 6:06 pm

    Thank you for sharing this, and your honesty. We are our worst critics and so hard on ourselves – aren’t we? You came across as confident on the ad and looked amazing!! I’m inspired by you, as I’m not great in situations where I’m in the spotlight.
    Alison xx

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 12:51 pm

      Yes we ARE hard on ourselves, Alison! Thank you for the lovely comment x

  3. Karen
    September 10, 2019 / 4:15 pm

    How honest and brave you are Catherine, I like many others here really appreciate your words and thoughts.
    I am so glad you managed the photo shoot and as they say ‘came through smelling of roses’…though in your head you were pulling up the weeds. The wonderful combination of friends helping you and your inner mindset pulled you through.
    I am older than you and although cannot recall this imposter feeling recently, there have been times over the
    last few years when I have had strong feelings of self doubt. These feelings are triggered by the aging process and lack of confidence. Its so important to share our thoughts and that we all help each other to be positive about ourselves. I know you weren’t fishing about for compliments, you are too nice for that ….but I have to say how wonderful you looked in that ad and are always so glam and beautiful on your blog posts x

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 12:54 pm

      I love that expression Karen (‘came through smelling of roses’…though in your head you were pulling up the weeds) – it’s SO true for the situation I found myself in! Funnily enough I’m a lot more confident now I’m older than I ever was when I was younger, so age isn’t a factor for me… it was all down to how I’d been treating myself/my body in the run up to the shoot, and the timing was just bad that’s all. Thankfully the camera didn’t seem to add 10lbs on me as they say…!

      Thank you so much for your kind words x

  4. September 10, 2019 / 2:29 pm

    Thank you for sharing! We are our worst critics most of the time! You did look amazing in the ad and confident. I am glad you had friends to boost you up.

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 12:55 pm

      Thank you so much Mireille – yes my friends made all the difference, thank goodness I had them to give me the boost I needed!

  5. September 10, 2019 / 11:20 am

    What an interesting post, very honest, and a story we can all relate to. We’ve all been there at some point (I’ve felt like that many times!). So it’s nice to see that people like you are not trying to hide it. Thanks very much for sharing this.

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 12:57 pm

      Thanks Sonia – no, I could never hide it, and I thought it was a good subject to cover seeing as I’d had so many compliments about the ad! Goes to show things are never as perfect as they seem…!

  6. September 9, 2019 / 9:09 pm

    You’ve always been a star in my eyes Catherine. The fact that you are so open and honest about how you truly feel makes you pretty special in this world of phoney baloney influencers. This blog post simply confirms that. So thank you for never changing and thank you for always remaining true blue, even when you feel like shite.
    And btw if you lived in Australia, your nickname would probably be BLUE! 😉

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 12:59 pm

      You know me MT – I’m so uncomfortable trying to be something I’m not I could just never pull off being all pouty glam as I call it!! 😉

      Thank you – I’d be proud to be called Blue, sharing my name with a rather fabulous furry boy, lol x

  7. September 7, 2019 / 12:38 am

    Amazing that you shared this Catherine, and I really appreciate it. I had a big think about impostor syndrome, and myself. I am 100% insecure about posting any photos of myself on my blog. Firstly, I don’t know how to, and secondly, everyone is younger than me and much more appearance savvy. I don’t have many clothes, and probably never will. And yet, in my heart I do know that it is silly to feel this way. So, yes, impostor syndrome.

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 1:10 pm

      Oh gosh Ratnamurti please don’t think everyone is younger than you – far from it! I know LOTS of bloggers who are in their 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s… look at Iris Apfel or Baddie Winkle, they’re both in their 90s and they are HUGELY popular!

      Not everyone wants to read about people who are “incredibly stylish” or produce immaculate content and pictures. Many, many women want to read about women who are like them, not “perfect” specimens who look like models. Remember that’s the beauty of blogging, it allows regular women to be seen and heard, and proves to other regular women that we don’t all have to look like the women in magazines.

      I’m sure there are lots of women who are dying to see how someone styles outfits with a limited wardrobe – god knows I’m sick to death of changing room selfies when bloggers just constantly show some new outfit they’re only trying on, not even styling or actually buying. Therefore if you WANT to post pictures of yourself, then go ahead and do so. You never know what it might do to your confidence (it did wonders for mine over the course of the 8 years I’ve been doing this)…!

      Thank you for being so honest xx

  8. Danish Pastry
    September 6, 2019 / 8:10 pm

    Omg yes!
    I seem to see-saw between “knowing” that they’re going to cotton on to the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing soon, and believing I actually do know what I’m doing. On the bad days I’m thinking I must have been crazy to think I was good at my job, on the good days I know those feelings are irrational and stupid.

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:21 pm

      These are feelings are VERY irrational as you say, DP! We are strange creatures…

  9. September 6, 2019 / 8:08 pm

    What a truly incredible story. I found myself hanging on every word! We’ve all had those horrible, insecure moments, haven’t we? A neighbor asked me the other day if I was at my “ideal” weight. Like you, my goal is to feel and look the best that I can and to be as healthy as possible. So I couldn’t answer her as I don’t really have an ideal weight. It certainly wouldn’t be the same as I weighed in my 20s!! Lol!

    It’s easy to see why your photos were chosen. You are beautiful and photogenic and your hair color is gorgeous.

    Thanks for sharing your story,
    xx
    Darlene

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:23 pm

      Hmm unless your neighbour is a very close friend that’s a pretty ‘off’ thing to ask, Darlene…!! How we feel and knowing we’re fit is the most important thing as you say (and thank you for the kind words) x

  10. September 6, 2019 / 5:41 pm

    Oh dear, I suffer from impostor syndrome all the time, especially at work. I keep thinking that I don’t really deserve to be where I am in my career and that everyone will find out that I’m a big fraud and I’ll get fired. (None of which is true, by the way!) My grandma always said, when you’re feeling helpless, help someone else. So I just focus on helping others, which is technically my job as a director, and then I feel much more confident in what I’m doing.
    Cheryl Shops

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:25 pm

      I’m sorry to hear you feel that way, Cheryl – I hope my story makes you a) see you’re not alone, and b) see that you wouldn’t be doing what you’re doing if someone didn’t want you there doing it!! But you’re right – helping others is so important, I’m so glad to hear you’re a director and yet STILL feel that it’s important! x

  11. September 6, 2019 / 2:31 pm

    They could have picked from loads of people but they picked you! and that was for a reason – they wanted YOU. xx Well done, you did yourself proud and looked fabulous as you always do – keep on doing what you’re doing we all love to see it. Thanks for sharing your story, as others (including me) feel the same way at times. Jacqui Mummabstylish

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:27 pm

      Thank you for those words of encouragement Jacqui – the same goes right back atcha!! x

  12. September 6, 2019 / 9:17 am

    By the way…….would love to see you on my Fancy Friday linkup party!

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:28 pm

      I’ll do my best – I barely get time to post on Insta these days, let alone join link ups… (though I always intend to)!

  13. September 6, 2019 / 9:16 am

    Congretulations! What a great job you did! No need to doubt yourself but we always do I suppose! I can say, the older I get the better it goes!

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:27 pm

      Aww thank you so much Nancy! Being older is definitely better, but sometimes we doubt ourselves too much…!

  14. September 5, 2019 / 10:37 pm

    Thank you so much for your post, I can relate in that I’ve felt like an imposter for much of my career, always waiting for them to find out that I’m not as good as I appear. It’s only been recently that I’ve begun to own who I am and where my strengths are. It’s been a journey! I love your blog, and find it inspiring.

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:29 pm

      Thank you Tara – it’s great to hear that you’re finally realising that you’re pretty amazing at what you do! What kind words, I really appreciate them (thank you again) xx

  15. September 5, 2019 / 9:32 pm

    Oh Catherine, this post speaks to me. I have been planning to write my own post soon on just this subject of imposter syndrome. While you state this was your first experience with imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome is an old friend of mine. An ugly friend and one I don’t welcome, but a friend that visits me frequently nonetheless. But you have overcome your fears quite brilliantly and the result is amazing. I struggle with feeling like an imposter in nearly every aspect of life, but I continue to fake it….right up to the point that I don’t have to fake it anymore. You are lovely and beautiful and you absolutely belonged right where you were doing that commercial otherwise you would have never been there in the first place. The universe puts us where we are supposed to be. I guess I need to listen to my own words! Thank you for another great post on an important topics! And congrats again on this wonderful opportunity and your wonderful commercial!

    Shelbee

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:31 pm

      Oh Shelbee, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had the same for a long time?! Though if you’re not even faking it anymore – would you not say that you’re not suffering from it anymore? It’s almost like a contradiction, though I can see how you think it’s still with you. Maybe you’re a LOT better than you actually think you are!!

      Thank you my darling x

  16. September 5, 2019 / 7:55 pm

    You look amazing. Sometimes we’re too hard on ourselves. I am sure that, as you said, they wouldn’t have picked you if they didn’t want you. But I can understand all that was going on inside your head because we are our own worst critics. The ad is lovely.

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:31 pm

      That’s so kind, thank you Loree xx

  17. Mary Katherine
    September 5, 2019 / 7:44 pm

    Catherine – what a powerful story! Far from looking like you’re fishing for compliments, you were incredibly generous to us all by sharing how this felt, and how you went from cringing to SHINING! I’ll bet the other readers are as inspired as I am – I will remember this the next time I bottom out… As I watch the advert, I’m thinking “this woman looks beautifully REAL!” Like the gorgeous women we know and love in our real lives, instead of some 19-yr-old who hasn’t had a decent meal in 6 months. (I hope I don’t sound like I’m body-shaming anyone – I don’t mean to). I opened a magazine yesterday to a spread of swimsuit models who all looked like that, and thanks to Instagram and those I follow, my first though was “wait – where are the curvy women, the middle-aged and seniors, the women of color? This isn’t real! This isn’t right!” Thank you for making me more aware, more open-minded and compassionate. I also hope that one day I’ll have the STRENGTH to be a vulnerable and triumphant as you were. Rock on, Queen Catherine!

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:33 pm

      Oh Mary Katherine thank you so much… I guess it’s all about smoke and mirrors – even when the ad features a regular woman like myself! Goes to show even the profesional models aren’t always that “amazing” IRL, doesn’t it?

  18. September 5, 2019 / 5:37 pm

    Thanks for your honesty in sharing this – we have probably all suffered from imposter syndrome at some point and can empathize. I remember when I was a newly appointed marketing director having to speak at a conference. The room was full of industry professionals and I was afraid they would think I didn’t know my stuff. I still shudder at the thought.

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:35 pm

      Oh gosh even as someone who likes public speaking, Gail, I can imagine that WAS pretty scary! Same as me when I had to give a talk at a European retail conference in Amsterdam a couple of years back – I didn’t quite get imposter syndrome then but it was terrifying for a bit…!

  19. September 5, 2019 / 4:27 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this, Catherine. Last month I was asked to go to a casting call for a very similar advert: I didn’t get the job, but the rest of what you’ve written is *exactly* how I felt – I’ve honestly never felt more out of place/embarrassed in my life, and, to be totally honest, it’s left me feeling quite low – especially given that I didn’t make the cut, which just confirmed all of the horrible things I’d been thinking about myself! So while I’m sorry you felt like that too, I’m reassured to know I’m not the only one who has those feelings of self-doubt sometimes. (And I know you weren’t asking for compliments, but I genuinely think you look amazing in that ad – and in all of your photos. I guess we’re all our own worst critics!)

    • Catherine
      Author
      September 11, 2019 / 4:37 pm

      Oh gosh Amber I know just how difficult that must have been for you, but WELL DONE for just going, I know how you never go to those sorts of things normally! I’m sorry you didn’t get the job (their loss…), but I hope it’ll give you a bit of experience in case the opportunity comes up again? I hope it does and I hope you try again!

      And thank you MUAH xx

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