The Benefits of Helping Others (in Life and in Business)

The Benefits of Helping Others (in Life and in Business) | Not Dressed As Lamb

Last week I had the pleasure of attending the book launch party of Mumboss by Vicki Psarias, the brains behind the blog Honest Mum. I wanted to share something that Vicki said in her book about the benefits of helping others:


“I’ve come to believe that there are two types of people in life (and work): those who are only in it for themselves (mostly because of deep-seated insecurities) and those who want to collaborate with others and contribute to a bigger picture, helping people through sharing and supporting one another.” ~ Honest Mum


Oh my GOD, did that resonate with me. This week I’ve been thinking a lot about those that have gone out of their way to help me (Vicki being one of those people) during my blogging career. Despite her crazy and sometimes stressful life, busy career and writing a book over the last year, she’s done so much to help me on a personal and professional level. I’m not the only one, either, as just about every person at her party that I chatted to was quick to comment on her generosity and huge heart.

She’s an example of the type of person who proves that it IS possible to climb to the top without treading on everyone on your way up. As she climbs, she gives others piggybacks and a leg up, and I’m one of those people that she’s helped – directly and indirectly.

Vicki is far from the only one who’s helped me during the lifespan of Not Dressed As Lamb. I’m lucky to have built up a solid team of “coworkers” that I’m proud to call close friends. I know who are the ones that have my back, and who are the ones that don’t. The ones that don’t aren’t worth worrying over. Vicki herself said in an InstaStory this week that if you have toxic people in your life, do something about it. You don’t need them. You need the people who will support you no matter what. THEY are the ones that you support in return and give everything to, not the dragger-downers.

As an older blogger it’s easy for me to say that it’s an age thing, that it tends to be the younger bloggers that are horribly competitive. But I think that’s unfair; I know just as many wonderfully helpful, supportive bloggers in their teens or early 20s as I do older bloggers who are the exact opposite.

I owe SO MUCH to those who have helped me, even if sometimes they don’t realise they have. From the support of readers who always, always comment on my blog posts (or social media) to the bloggers that will pass on my name to a PR, check if my site is working following a Whatsapp or Twitter plea or suggest articles I should read, they ALL make such a difference – even if they don’t realise it.


Being kind – it’s the small things

So often it’s the small things that make a difference. Today I replied to an invite to a blogger meet with my apologies to say I couldn’t make it… her reply then said, “Thanks for letting me know that you won’t able to attend – it’s really kind.” How sweet was that? It took me probably less than 60 seconds to write back, but she obviously greatly appreciated me telling her I wouldn’t be there. It made me think of all the people who don’t reply, and how 60 seconds of my time made her life that little bit easier.

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Helping others is one of those things that comes naturally to some people and not to others. And then there are some [unfortunate souls] who go out of their way not to help anyone else at all – unless it has some benefit to them. There are many ways that we can support the bloggers we love, and yet it still doesn’t occur to some people that helping others helps THEM in the long run.

For example, I always try to recommend bloggers I know to PRs. I try to be as helpful as I can when replying to personal emails. I try to treat the people that read my blog and follow me on social media as individuals, learning their names (and looking them up and addressing them that way) if I don’t. It really irks me that I don’t have enough hours in the day to reply to every single person that leaves me a comment (you can read that as a thinly-veiled apology for constantly being behind with my blog post replies), but I know I #MustDoBetter.

It’s the people that help others that will ultimately reap the rewards. The bloggers I remember are the ones who give, give, give, not the ones that take, take, take. And this principle of helping others can be applied to ANY area of life, whether you’re a high flying CEO, a call centre worker or a kick-ass Mumboss. It doesn’t matter what you do in life – or WITH your life – it’s your treatment of others that people remember you for.

So see who you can help. Give back to those that truly deserve it, and get rid of the ones that bring you down.

Because those you help and give your time to will ultimately be the ones that determine your success, not you.

[tweetshare tweet=”Those you help and give your time to will ultimately be the ones that determine your success, not you.” username=”notlamb”]




11 Fantastic Ways to Support Bloggers You Love
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Disclosure: This post is not sponsored in any way by Honest Mum, I’m just sharing what I wanted to talk about this week. I bought Vicki’s book myself – who, by the way, was mortified that she didn’t have enough free copies to give to everyone she knows – there she goes again! 😉

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So all that’s left to say is – I’ve shared my thoughts/stories/tuppence-worth this week, now it’s time to share yours… LET’S GET THIS [LINK UP] PARTY STARTED!

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PLEASE be kind and leave a link somewhere on your post, and share your post using the hashtag #SaturdayShareLinkUp – if you tweet your link with the hashtag and tag me in @notlamb I’ll even retweet it to my followers for you 🙂

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  1. 20 October 2020 / 11:50 am

    It really is true that some of the smallest kindnesses make the biggest impact. I think in part we’ve become less courteous as a society overall, and that has really showed up big-time online, so people don’t realize that the little niceties are still very much noticed and appreciated!

    I think it’s really lovely to see creators working together, not against each other. (Especially considering how much flack comes from outside the world of content creation and the debate of whether it’s “real” work.) Great post as always!

  2. 19 May 2018 / 9:24 pm

    I enjoyed your article today… So true! Wise words. Thank you for them.

  3. 14 May 2018 / 7:31 pm

    Oh darling, your post just made me cry. Thank you so much for your friendship and support. You are a complete inspiration.
    … Success isn’t success if you get there by hurting or trampling over others. I’ve always been about sharing all that I know and helping people. I’m very good at distancing from negativity and I’ve honestly stopped caring what others think of me. I look at myself as my compass to guide me. I trust me. It comes with age I think…. I also come from a long line of teachers and taught too myself so it’s in my blood to share. You are talented and beautiful but also sisterly and in this world, we need the latter in spades. I feel so lucky to have you as a friend. Much love to you xxx

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 9:49 pm

      Bless you Vicki my lovely!!!! As someone I’ve met several times and spoken to more than I can remember, you are absolutely the number one person who shares all that she knows with everyone she knows (and doesn’t know). You’re right – success isn’t success if it’s gained by trampling over people. Karma always gets its way IMO, and you’re a testament to success earned the right way. Long may it continue for you, and long may I call you a friend xoxoxo

  4. 14 May 2018 / 1:41 pm

    A lovely post from such a generous soul. Thank you for the reminder. It’s easy to get caught up in our own stuff and day-to-day…and to forget that it can, truly, take just 60 seconds to extend a kindness towards another.


    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:13 pm

      Thank YOU, Bettye! I too will admit I get caught up in the day to day stuff, but kindness and a helping hand cost nothing and need only take a minute as you say 😀 x

  5. 13 May 2018 / 11:14 pm

    What a great post. The benefits of helping others always outweigh the actual act. It is one of the things that makes us human. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:18 pm

      I love what you said Patrick: ” The benefits of helping others always outweigh the actual act” – never a truer word said #twothumbsup

  6. 13 May 2018 / 11:50 am

    Every time you publish something C it’s always as if you read my mind!! You are one of life’s treasures. You found me somehow when I first started Bbed last year and have been a ray of supportive sunshine ever since.
    You make me want to be a better version of myself every time I read your posts… always resonate with me … always so timely. Love what you do…. you are one of the best ❤️

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:19 pm

      Oh Sharon bless you, you absolute sweetheart! Thank you so much!! Well I only support those who truly deserve it and you my darling definitely do. So glad you liked the post xxxx

  7. Nailil
    13 May 2018 / 1:55 am

    Such a fun linkup. Thanks for hostinfg 🙂

    Xx, Nailil

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:21 pm

      Pleasure, Nailil! x

  8. 12 May 2018 / 11:03 pm

    I have been surrounded by kindness lately as I’ve been having radiotherapy treatment (luckily I’m absolutely fine and fighting fit! ). But one particukar person stands out for her generosity. One of the side effects of radiotherapy is fatigue and another is a very sore throat, since the problem area was my vocal chords. So for the past three seeks I’ve been unable to swallow anything other than liquids and have been living on soup and smoothies.

    Unbeknownst to me, a dear friend of my partner made me up several days worth of soup, completely vegetarian and blended. So when Stephen popped round to their house to watch a football match, Mo presented him with several cartons plus some lovely herbal tea. She did the same thing the very next weekend, meaning no cooking for a good few days. It was a godsend and a lovely surprise. What’s more, she sends me lots of encouraging messages on recent FB posts. X

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:24 pm

      OMG Emerald what a lovely story, how thoughtful she was!!!!!!! Isn’t it amazing how some people really, truly reveal themselves to be absolute angels when you really need them (and others don’t quite often, hmmm). I’m sure you’ll never forget how kind she was for the rest of your life… I love how these people really make an impact and you remember their kindness forever x

  9. 12 May 2018 / 5:10 pm

    Thank you for the thought provoking post! I have been so blessed and completely taken by surprise by the kindness of others in this blog realm…honestly, I want more time in the day to return that kindness, one by one as well! #workinprogress have a wonderful weekend


    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:26 pm

      Chrissy I absolutely agree with you – I owe so many people so much, IRL and in blogging. Blogging definitely brings out the best (and the worst!) in people x

  10. 12 May 2018 / 4:01 pm

    Catherine, you’ve been that helper to me—so Many times. I hope you realize how grateful I am to you!

    Love, Ann

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:27 pm

      Oh Ann you’re so sweet, thank you – and likewise back atcha! I know you’ll always have my back. And I’m happy to scratch your back anytime, hehe 😉

  11. 12 May 2018 / 1:28 pm

    Catherine, great post and one that resonates with me as well. I am all about helping and sharing and spreading kindness. We reap what we sow and we get back what we put out into the universe! You have always been so helpful to me since the beginning of my blogging journey as well. And I appreciate that so very much. I will always continue to pay forward all of the little kindnesses I have received along the way!


    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:28 pm

      Shelbee that’s so nice of you to say, sweetheart – thank YOU! I couldn’t agree with the “you reap what you sow” sentiment more… it is SO true!! x

  12. 12 May 2018 / 11:28 am

    Oh my goodness this post resonated with me too. So pleased you wrote this! A subject very close to my heart. I say celebrate your competition afterall we are all in this together.
    Together we are stronger too.
    May I also add a huge thank you for all the help you have given me you darling girl you!
    lots of love
    Ashley xx

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:29 pm

      YES, together we are stronger Ashley – absolutely!! And likewise you have helped me a great deal, so thank you. I wish more people realised it’s easier to help people and not ignore or compete with them 🙁

  13. 12 May 2018 / 10:55 am

    You are so right with this post! We live in a selfish world and I’m always happy when I can help … it helps tremendously to build strong and long relationship with people!

    Have a great week-end xx

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:31 pm

      We do live in a selfish world, Lui – the blogosphere included – but I’d like to think those people are in the minority. And YES to building relationships!! Thanks for the lovely comment x

  14. 12 May 2018 / 10:23 am

    Very true and love your words Catherine. I love to help others, even when I am really busy I just can’t say no! It often means I have taken on far too much and get very stressed but still I wouldn’t not do it. I’ve met some lovely bloggers who are so willing to help me too, it is a wonderful community xx

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:32 pm

      The wonderful blogging community is always I think what’s kept me going for so many years, Michelle! And yes I find it hard to say no, and yes it can be stressful but the rewards outweigh the stress 😀

  15. 12 May 2018 / 9:45 am

    So true… I have a post not yet published, about little acts of costs nothing to be kind or helpful or polite. I try to comment on the posts of bloggers I follow, but only manage to do a few a week. I always read yours and comment occasionally. I love your writing, your honesty and your photos. I am probably the oldest blogger in Ireland, unless there is someone else in the blogsphere over 61. I write about everything from health to fashion and also use my blog to give others a voice.

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:36 pm

      Hilda that’s so nice of you, I’m so glad you like my writing (thank you)!! Maybe you ARE the oldest blogger in Ireland… you need to find out!! 😉

  16. Lena G
    12 May 2018 / 8:45 am

    This Piece really resonated with me. I very much believe in supporting others and it’s something I like to do. I’m also a great believer in Karma, so when people are not so nice to me or treat me badly, I don’t feel I need to respond, it’s their issue and I leave it to Karma. Equally I know I’ve received many blessings, from good people who have the same view point as me but who are oblivious to the kindnesses they share. A quote I love about this subject is “kindness is free, sprinkle that stuff everywhere”.

    This morning I also went on to read the how to help your favourite bloggers piece. I never really comment on your blog although I’ve been following it for over a year as I was sure you are far too busy that I didn’t want to add another comment for you to read. However I have now been educated and I will now click the comment button more often now. Thank you for the lesson and the many engaging articles.

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:38 pm

      I TOTALLY believe in karma too, Lena!! And not to worry about not commenting much before – but for me commenting not helps my blogs in terms of SEO and all that stuff but I love the conversations it creates. I do my best to reply as much as possible, but if I don’t please don’t think I’m not reading them. Quite often I read them on my phone because I’m out and about or working and I find it almost impossible to reply and type on those stupid small keys, lol!!

      So glad you liked the posts, hope to hear from you again x

  17. Georgina
    12 May 2018 / 8:22 am

    Hi Catherine
    I have experienced many gifts of kindness that have stayed with me. One being:-
    Early one dark misty November morning l was on my way to the airport. The route is notorious for roadworks and l got entangled in a maze of barriers and cones etc. There were no street lights and no other vehicles on the road. It was pitch black and l just kept riding round and round trying to find my way out. I wa getting really frightened, Suddenly out of knowhere a young Asian taxi driver appeared pulled up beside me and said could he help. This amazing young man led me out of the maze, waiting for me to catch up when l fell behind and took me to a place l could continue my journey safely in time for my flight. This was many years ago and l have never forgotten his kindness and remember him in my prayers.
    Our Angels come in many guises!

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 5:41 pm

      Oh Georgina what a lovely story – how lovely of him!! I’d love to read a book about people’s stories of random acts of kindness, don’t you think it would make a wonderful read…?!

      • Georgina
        14 May 2018 / 6:25 pm

        Hi Catherine
        It certainly would. Maybe when time permits you could perhaps have a blog that could be added to of special comments, stories, encouraging words etc. I am sure your followers would be honoured to contribute.
        Always enjoy your posts .

        • catherine
          14 May 2018 / 10:58 pm

          I feel a post coming on in that case… I definitely couldn’t manage a separate blog (or maybe you meant a blog post)? Either way it should be done, I’ll see what I can do x

          • Georgina
            15 May 2018 / 6:20 am

            That would be lovely.
            Some acts of kindness stay with us long after ‘the giver’ has forgotten.

  18. 12 May 2018 / 8:16 am

    Dear Catherine, I so agree with you. Both you and Vicki, both being such successful and busy bloggers have taken time to reply to personal messages from me (small in size and still small in blogger’s land), which I highly appreciated. I am also a huge fan of helping others. I once heard this beautiful metaphor how helping others makes you go forward as a person too and I want to share it with you and your readers.

    Imagine a swimmer, doing the traditional breaststroke. The movement of the arms can be seen as spreading help or gifts and that makes you go forward. The opposite movement, which looks like grasping greedily whatever you can, won’t bring you very far! In fact, it leads to a standstill or even worse…

    Love, Lieske

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 11:03 pm

      Lieske it doesn’t surprise me at all that Vicki helped you!! I love your swimming metaphor: it sums it up beautifully 😀 (thank you hon x)

  19. Judy
    12 May 2018 / 8:13 am

    Every single word of that is true, Catherine, and I feel that ought to be printed, framed and put on the wall of every girl and woman. I am not a blogger, but in my past professional life as a caterer, I well remember those who went out of their way to recommend my company , those who shared info on the latest “must have”products – and those clients who wrote thank you notes and recommended us. We are, after all, all in this together! Thanks for yet another thought provoking and very readable post.

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 11:02 pm

      Thank you so much Judy – I’m so glad to hear you’ve had wonderful experiences in your professional career (this doesn’t just apply to blogging – it’s just that this is my career so that’s what I can most easily talk about! I had very little of this sort of thing in my last full-time job unfortunately 🙁 )

  20. 12 May 2018 / 8:01 am

    Very good post, loved to read it. That is one of the reasond I didn t want to write in Dutch!

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 11:00 pm

      I know some people who write in their own language and then translate it into English – it’s an awful lot of work, Nancy!! thank you x

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 10:59 pm

      My pleasure Debbie! xo

  21. 12 May 2018 / 12:38 am

    Beautiful photo Catherine. You are such an inspiration, and …. thanks for all of the help that you have (unknowingly) given me

    • catherine
      14 May 2018 / 10:59 pm

      Oh hon that’s so nice of you – thank you!!!!!

  22. 11 May 2018 / 11:44 pm

    What a gorgeous and joyous shot of you at the beginning of this post, Catherine. And lovely post too:)

    • catherine
      11 May 2018 / 11:50 pm

      Thank you and thank you, Sue – thought it was was a good one from the archives…! 😉

  23. 11 May 2018 / 11:39 pm

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You have clearly been there and done that! Being relatively new to blogging (well, it’s already been a year and a half!), I’ve experienced the same things. I felt very shut out until recently when I discovered wonderful and helpful bloggers like you who have shared their journey. I learn new things every day that I should be doing and should have been doing, so it is a journey, to be sure! Thanks for your thoughtful and helpful insights.

    • catherine
      11 May 2018 / 11:49 pm

      Definitely been there and done that, Darlene… you learn who’s got your back and who doesn’t, that’s for sure! I’m sorry to hear you’ve felt shut out – but diving right in and getting involved is the only way to do it… these link ups and conversations on blogs and social media are absolutely the way to go – you’ve already helped me and brightened my day with your lovely comment, so thank you! xx

  24. 11 May 2018 / 11:18 pm

    Wise words Catherine, I’ll try to heed what you say because they are so true. Thanks for sharing them on the link up. x Jacqui Mummabstylish

    • catherine
      11 May 2018 / 11:45 pm

      Thanks Jacqui – we’re all in this together! x

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