This week it seemed I “outranked” a friend in the cup size department, much to her surprise. As it’s Breast Cancer Awareness month this was a timely topic…!
This friend – a fellow blogger – and I chatted for over an hour on the phone this week. The conversation swung round to our outfit posts and the way we look online, and we bemoaned the fact that being on (film) camera really does add ten pounds. She was being really complimentary about the way I dress (bless her!) – then she mentioned something about how her big boobs are so hard to dress.
This was what shocked her: Me saying that I too am a very busty girl (I got a bemused “really?!” in response). When we shared our bra sizes it seems I actually outranked her in the cup size department.
(I probably should have put a disclaimer at the beginning to say Warning: Much boobage talk will ensue in this post. If you’re not a fan this may not be the post for you. Though I may also have attracted the wrong sort with the post title – they will be disappointed…!)
Anyway just for the purposes of this post, I will reveal my bra size. It’s usually a huge surprise to those that I choose to tell, because I think I am able to dress my big boobs to look smaller… a LOT smaller. I’m often confronted with shocked reactions when I find myself in a situation where bra sizes are discussed.
I do not dress to show off my boobs or my cleavage, and that’s just my choice. As you probably know if you’ve ever read my blog before, I believe in #iwillwearwhatilike – so that means if you want to show off your boobs, no matter how small or large they are, then go for it. Same goes for covering them up. There are no rules, no right or wrong.
So how is it that I am extremely blessed in the chest department but no one seems to know about it?
It’s all in the way you dress and the clothes (and the fit of your clothes) that you choose to wear.
Why I choose to dress down my boobs
Personally, I’d always wanted smaller boobs when I was growing up. I developed very early so by the time I was 14 I was pretty well endowed, and I guess I was self-conscious about them to a certain extent. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t have a huge hang up about them, but when you have a very little frame and a tiny back then large breasts are pretty cumbersome and to me, somewhat out of proportion. So I always dressed with the intention of not showing them off.
The tiny back and big boobs equates to a bra size of 30F. I may not have boobs that are big as some, but the massive difference between back and boobs means a large cup size of an F.
And yes, when I finally got myself measured properly I was SHOCKED.
Breast cancer awareness
I never thought I’d mention the word “boobs” so much in one post (I’ll add them up at the end) – but seeing as October is breast cancer awareness month it seems only right to talk about this now, no?
Just as important as getting yourself measured properly – no matter how large or small your boobs – is checking yourself regularly… again, no matter how large or small your boobs. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been to the doctor to ask him/her to check some lumps I’ve found. 9 times out of 10 they were fine and just fatty deposits (I guess I have naturally lumpy boobs), and even that 1 time out of 10 I was sent for a mammogram to be safe – and it was all clear thankfully.
So don’t delay booking that appointment, ladies, if you think you’ve found something. Get them checked ASAP – it could literally save your life.
How to dress big boobs to look smaller
I know this may be a strange desire to some – especially if you’re on the smaller side – but I LOVE it when an outfit makes me look flatter-chested. I guess we always want what we don’t have, eh?
Now I know that my large cup size is mostly due to the great difference between back size and boob size, but if you want to see the difference between something that enhances them and something that hides them, just check out the two pictures below:
As you can see, depending on what I’m wearing I can either look like I have almost no boobs – or very large boobs indeed. The dress I wore to the UK Blog Awards was so stunning but I knew it was going to put them out on show for everyone to see. It was one of the few times that there was nothing I could do about having my boobs “out there”… I simply HAD to own them.
But oh, how it proves what a difference your clothing can make! Here are my four top tips for how to make big boobs look much, much smaller:
1. Get yourself fitted properly for a bra
Finding out your proper bra size is the best piece of advice I can give you. Don’t go to a department store – go to a bra specialist because measuring boobs is what they do all day. The really good ones can usually tell just by looking at you what bra size you should be. I went to Bravissimo and highly recommend them. I’d always thought I was a 32D – turns out I was a 30F. My boobs were transformed.
2. Wear minimiser bras
As lovely as it is to wear pretty, lacy bras, on an everyday basis I always wear a minimiser t-shirt bra. If you get one with thick straps it will hoick up and flatten your boobs and make them look seriously smaller. I can remember the first day I wore a properly fitting, minimiser bra to the office: I actually showed off my “flat” chest to my female colleagues, I was that proud of my minimising achievements (and yes they were quite astonished at the difference).
3. Wear slim, but not tight, tops
Anything that skims loosely over your boobs and isn’t fitted at the waist will give the illusion of a flatter chest. You don’t have to restrict yourself to V-necks as the style “rules” say – I often wear round necks and they don’t make me look busty at all.
4. Choose straight, not fitted, jackets
There are a couple of items I tend to avoid as outwear/cover-ups: fitted cardigans and fitted jackets or blazers. Anything that’s either knitwear and clings to my boobs or is tailored and nips in at the waist causes me grief. What happens is that the front “panels” don’t hang straight over my boobs – they curve round the outside and simply emphasis their shape, thus making them look even bigger than they really are. Straighter, looser jackets are my friend.
Do whatever YOU want
Please remember that none of this should be taken as gospel… if you have really big boobs and want to do exactly the opposite of all these things to show off your assets – GO FOR IT, and good for you I say!
As always my “advice” is not advice at all – it’s just ideas for those that want to learn the tricks I use to look more flat-chested. I just know that when I used to bemoan the size of my boobs I would have killed for some pointers like these… I wish I’d learnt them sooner.
But the most important piece of advice (as this really is a must): Check your boobs. DO IT TONIGHT.
That one I won’t let any of you ignore.
WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE BOOBAGE FRONT? ARE YOU BUSTY AND WANT TO LOOK SMALLER, OR FLAT-CHESTED AND WANT TO LOOK BIGGER, OR BIG AND WANT TO LOOK BIGGER… SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS BELOW OR TWEET ME @NOTLAMB!
P.S. NUMBER OF TIMES THE WORD “BOOBS” WAS USED IN THIS POST: 27 😜
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