Just in the last week I’ve been told my authored subject matter is stylish, I’ve been thanked for the meal, and apparently unwell unquestionably comes more formerly again.
If you’re wondering what on EARTH I’m talking about, then don’t worry as I don’t know what I’m saying either. I’m quoting people. Or rather, I’m quoting bots.
At least that’s what I think it is: I mean, how else would such crazy stuff be left as comments on my blog? Surely only a bot/AI would come up with such funny (funny meaning weird) things?
[Reading time: <4 mins]
I’ve always received a lot of spam comments, as I’m sure most bloggers have, but thankfully I’m able to send most of them straight to Spam based on keywords and/or blocking people who’ve left dodgy comments in the past.
Leave any type of botty comment (there’s a word I never thought I’d be using on the blog), one that’s peddling some sort of crappy clothing wares or (and this is, of course, the worst) anything smutty, p0rn-related or downright offensive, and you’ll get your email address, website URL and IP address blocked faster than you can say AI is no match for natural stupidity.
But yet they keep coming, and I’m sure they’re not going away any time soon.
How to prevent spam comments
If you have a blog or website that allows comments, make sure you’re doing everything you can to stop spam coming through. If you’re on WordPress, install a plugin that prevents them (I use Akismet). Check the settings to see if you can turn on moderation or at least part moderation where comments can be automatically approved once the commenter has had their first one approved.
(This is the setting that I have, though something funny is happening right now and it’s forcing me to approve ALL comments, I don’t know why. Apologies if it shows Comment is awaiting moderation for you… I’m working on that changing back for regular commenters.)
Also, block the spammers. Block them till the cows come home. This will save you time and energy and the risk of seeing rather disgusting, p0rn0graphic comments. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
At the moment, the spam comments are coming thick and fast as I mentioned. I have to spend a fair ol’ portion of my time blocking the bots and deleting the spam, but block and delete I have to in order to not miss all the genuine comments.
But as they waste so much of my time I thought I’d turn it into a positive and present you, my lovely readers, with a post showcasing some of the most hilariously weird comments I’ve had recently.
No words have been changed and all are presented exactly as written: spelling mistakes, odd grammar, nonsensical bollocks and all. Either the bots need to brush up on their English grammar, or someone needs to see a mental health specialist… :/
Oh, and nothing p0rn0graphic, of course. Just random weirdness about dating is as risqué as it gets round here (but if I’ve quoted something that IS in any way p0rn0graphic/misogynistic and I’ve not understood the reference, then for the love of god TELL ME…)!
Here they are – genuine spam comments I’ve received recently:
~ Sneaker b0tting and need pr0xies?
~ I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. Nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. Unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike.
~ It’s perfect time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions.
~ I am sorry, it not absolutely that is necessary for me.
~ Make your profile appealing and optimistic. After writing the profile it is essential to omit the spelling or grammar error as a result of it will give an attractive look to your profile. Nonetheless, if you put together one which suits your face, that makes you look nice, and that looks clear and sexy, women will as soon as once more see you as attractive.
~ This post is awesome. I love this post so much that I’m going crazy.
~ Nice and lovely clothing i seen ever. I really love it. It is also an informational blog from my side. Thanks for giving us that blog.
~ The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my ihone and tested to see if it can surviove a forty foot drop, just so sshe can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is noww destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!
~ I leave work quickly today and come back tomorrow.
~ After a year of relationship round in London, I believe it’s secure to say that the communication abilities of the common mid-twenties Anglo-Saxon man have a variety of room for improvement. Womanish nature is a uncommon characteristic and men value it rather a lot.
~ Your method of explaining everything in this article is actually pleasant, every one be capable of without difficulty know it, Thanks a lot.
~ Having a person to belief, rely on, and simply undergo onerous occasions with is certainly priceless.
~ It seems excellent phrase to me is ——————
~ I’ve just forwarded this onto a coworker who has been conducting a little homework on this. And he actually bought me lunch due to the fact that I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!!
~ Spoiler alert: I date (principally British) men.
Which spammy comment was your favourite? 😉 Sound off in the comments below…
Thanks for reading,
Linking up to… Monday: Stylish Monday (second Monday of the month), Inspire Me Monday, My Glittery Heart, On Mondays We Link Up || Tuesday: Style With a Smile, Trend Spin/Walking in Memphis in High Heels, Turning Heads Tuesday, Confident Twosday, Happy Now Blog Link Up || Wednesday: WowOnWednesday || Thursday: Chic & Stylish, Ageless Style Linkup (third Thursday of the month), || Friday: Neverending Style, Fancy Friday, On the Edge
Hahahahahahaha! Oh my goodness. I get these, too. Some are so funny! And some just downright bizarre,
Shelbee
The incongruity of these bots giving you praise or advice on your writing style “is so much that I’m going crazy.”
These are so funny, glad I’m not the only one who gets them! Thanks for sharing and giving us a laugh. Jacqui x
Author
Ughh some are so ridiculous I just can’t see the point?!! Such a waste of time and effort… I know it’s about the links but sometimes they don’t include a link… so whyyyyyyy do it! lol
This is a little comforting and reassuring. I was worried the bots might take over but at this rate, apparently not! They still need a lot of work!
Author
They absolutely do, Liz!! 😉 lol
Love em all, but talk about cliff hanger :-O !!!! …. It seems excellent phrase to me is ——————
What?? What?????????
Author
Hehe I did the same, Joyce… I think the bot had a stroke half way through writing that!! 😀
Having recently tried to write a holiday journal I now have an even greater appreciation of your writing style and content. Now I know you also have to do battle with gibberish spam and bot rubbish I just want to thank you so much for your work! Loving having the regular blog posts back again.
Author
Hehe thanks Sarah… yes it’s a daily battle – just in the 24 hours since this post was published I’ve had another 20-30 spam comments, all along the same lines, arghhhh!
So glad you’re glad I’m “back” as it were, that means a lot x
Whaaaaa, oh my word! What a lot of rubbish. And what are they thinking right? I don’t get that. The same with emails. For collaborations. Some are so stupid that I’m thinking: am I stupid? Lol. Well at least you turned it into a lovely read!
Author
Yes I definitely get a lot of stupid emails about collabs as well, Nancy – again, it’s such a time waster isn’t it?! But whoever uses these bots – or creates the settings or however they work, I haven’t a clue – isn’t doing a very good job, lol! I know it’s all about keywords even if they ARE nonsensical, but some don’t have keywords and still don’t make sense, so I don’t get it!!
Oh for heaven’s sake, EVERYONE knows you don’t pr0xie your sneaker b0tting, dead give-away it’s spam!
Author
Rona I haven’t pr0xied my sneaker b0tting in a long time, lol! 😉
I feel that from now on, whenever I see an outfit on your blog that I particularly love, I will say, “Nice and lovely clothing I seen ever”
Author
Ahhh but Tobi: I am sorry, it not absolutely that is necessary for me LOL 😀
Haha all absolutely random I did chuckle most at ‘I leave work quickly today and come back tomorrow’
Author
Kareema I have NO idea what that is meant to be about, LOL!!
“Womanish nature” LoL
Author
Oh yes Jenn I have a VERY womanish nature, you?!! 😉
Wow. That’s a whole new level of weirdness and bobbins. Even more crackers that the Daily Heil’s comment section 😉
This one made me chuckle:
” I leave work quickly today and come back tomorrow.”
It feels like something from a language book or some odd poem. The uncanny valley of communication.
BTW, have you looked at Sincere Responses to Spam? That’s an old blog, but very funny. The author writes polite replies to all the spam that get. The 401 Eater who trolls email scammers is a hoot as well. 🙂
A colleague in IT one said that at one point, 80% of the organisation’s inbound email was spam. Thank goodness for filtering systems for mail and comments! Oh, and CAPTCHA on comment forms can help too, so I’m told.
PS: I hope you’ve got MFA switched on to protect your blog login.
Author
Lynn I Googled Sincere Responses to Spam but couldn’t find it – maybe it’s not running anymore? It sounds very funny, I’d love to read it 😉
I dread to think how much spam I actually WOULD get if I didn’t have filtering systems on… it just takes up so much time! I’ve tried to add a Captcha plugin and it says it’s there but for some flippin’ reason it won’t work – yet another little thing that’s not working in the background (I’ve got a lot of them going on)!
And yes, MFA is switched on and I have it on my Instagram too… I’ve lost my blog’s Facebook page – it got hacked and is being used to peddle keto gummies crap – but that was despite having two-factor authentication on. Somehow he bypassed it and managed to get himself added as an administrator and then locked me out. I’m not too bothered as Facebook was a waste of time for me, but I feel dreadful that people might buy the stuff and not realise it’s a scam. And I can’t post a warning on it or anything, it’s so frustrating, plus Meta are zero help. I live in fear of losing the blog or my Instagram as that’s my livelihood down the drain if so 🙁
Author
And for anyone reading this and wondering: yes I long since disconnected my Instagram from my Facebook account x
OMG this is HILARIOUS!!!!! I hardly get any spam comments at all (touch wood). Thank God…. it would drive me round the bend!!
The one about the iPad is my favourite…I love all the spelling errors in it! Although the free meal comes a close second. You must have been baffled when you first read that one LOL
Hugs
Suzy xx
Author
Baffling is right, Suzy LOL 😉 !!!