Something I’ve seen a lot in my social media channels and blog comments recently is the expression “I couldn’t pull it off” – usually preceded by “I love it, but”…
It got me thinking about what “being able to pull it off” actually means. Does it mean being the right age to wear something? Having the right figure? The right hairstyle? Or does it just mean someone isn’t confident enough to wear it?
It’s probably all those things to a greater or lesser extent depending on the individual, but have you ever heard yourself saying it? (I’m pretty sure I’ve said it to myself in the past.) And does it really matter whether we can “pull it off” – or not?
IT’S DIFFERENT IF YOU LOVE IT BUT KNOW IT WON’T SUIT YOU OR FLATTER A CERTAIN PART OF YOU – WHEN SOMETHING MAKES YOU FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS OR UNCOMFORTABLE THAT’S A WHOLE OTHER THING BECAUSE YOU WON’T FEEL GOOD WEARING IT.
Something I’ve always been very keen to do with the blog is to make this a place that encourages women to experiment and not be afraid to wear whatever they damn well like. (And at least one man too, judging by the lovely email I received from a male reader who’s had the courage to wear his beloved leather trousers and not be bothered about what others may think!)
What’s stopping us have the confidence to wear what we like
With so many of these online lists about what women over 30/40/whatever age can’t wear still popping up (mostly as clickbait, I’m sure), it’s more important now than ever before that we get the message of #iwillwearwhatilike out there. Women who dress without the fear of “What will others think” are championing the way of freedom of choice for us all.
But my heart sinks just a little when I hear/read that expression “I love it, but I couldn’t possibly pull it off”… What does it mean? Are they too afraid to try because of what others may think? Because they don’t think they’re young/pretty/blonde/thin enough to wear it?
It’s different if you love it but know it won’t suit you or flatter a certain part of you – when something makes you feel self-conscious or uncomfortable that’s a whole other thing because you won’t feel good wearing it. I’m talking about loving something and feeling great in it, but falling back on the “can’t pull it off” excuse for not having the balls to go for it.
As mentioned in my outfit post yesterday (where I threw on a very-likely-to-mismatch shearling gilet over my smart Winser coatigan), I wasn’t all that bothered about whether it worked and simply went for warmth. I’m sure many people looked at that gilet and thought I couldn’t pull it off because it didn’t match the rest of my outfit, or I shouldn’t be wearing it at my age, or I’m not thin enough to wear such a bulky item… Who cares? It’s all subjective.
If you’re telling yourself you can’t pull it off…
The next time you’re thinking you love something but “couldn’t pull it off”, stop and remember this: Who says you can’t? You’re telling yourself you can’t – it doesn’t really mean anything apart from you thinking you’re not good enough in some way. No one else is telling you that (and if they do tell you, you know what to say to them, don’t you). You ARE good enough for it because you LIKE it. That’s all the reason you need.
The only person who can make changes or take risks in what you wear is you – YOU have the power. What’s the worst that could happen?!
Like I always say, It’s only clothes…!
So all that’s left to say is – I’ve shared my thoughts/stories/tuppence-worth this week, now it’s time to share yours… LET’S GET THIS [LINK UP] PARTY STARTED!
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