If you’re an over 40 woman then you probably know that there is a long list of things that you should definitely NOT be doing, saying or wearing at your age. For example, you shouldn’t be wearing leather trousers or going to festivals. Nor should you be going clubbing or wearing shorts.
You shouldn’t even consider keeping your hair long, especially if it’s going (gone) grey. Right?
WRONG.
It seems that today, even after many years of having the internet and more opportunities given to women to express themselves than ever before, journalists are still writing bullsh*t articles offering “advice” to older women about how to live their lives. I mentioned in Monday’s post that I’d be talking about this today because The Times (yes, The Times!) wrote an article outlining what women should and shouldn’t be doing and wearing and some other utter nonsense.
If you’re looking for a link to the article, there won’t be one. I’ll explain…
Why the media publishes these articles
On Monday I very proudly published my 100th #iwillwearwhatilike link up post, a weekly link up that started because of an article written two years ago listing 24 things that women over 30 (that’s THIRTY) should stop wearing. The response from everyone was, quite rightly, something along the lines of Why doesn’t she take a running jump, thanks very much – I’ll wear what I damn well like.
And thus, #iwillwearwhatilike was born. To date, there have been nearly 16,000 Instagram posts using the #iwillwearwhatilike hashtag (I checked at the time, it hadn’t been used before I started it). I’m very proud to have started something that resonates so much with so many vibrant, confident and working-towards-being-confident women. That was TWO YEARS ago.
And yet, here are we are reading the same rubbish yet again (and it’s not as if it’s a rare occurrence).
When articles like the one in The Times rear their ugly heads, it’s as if we’ve taken two steps forward only to be told to take five steps back. How many women read these articles and think that they really SHOULD be adhering to what they’re told in them because they’ve never heard of the fact that’s 2017 and women of all ages can wear and do whatever they like?
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AND THEN I REMEMBERED: IT’S CLICKBAIT. NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS.
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I’ll admit I went to look up the article online (I saw a tweet that included a photo of the newspaper headline only), but then stopped myself… Why, why, WHY am I looking this up? It’s going to be nonsense. I’m not going to agree with any of it. It’s all going to be bullsh*t. But I want to read it out of curiosity, and to see which point [they’ve listed] will rile me more.
And then I remembered: IT’S CLICKBAIT. Nothing more, nothing less.
Why should I give them the satisfaction of more traffic, when all they’ve probably done is written the article to stir up a reaction and get people to click the link? They want us to tweet about it. They want us to tag them @thetimes. They want us to give them free publicity and basically increase their site traffic.
So I didn’t look it up, and I haven’t read it. But regardless of the actual content, the reasoning behind it is misogynistic at worst, and ageist at best.
Forget that – there’s no best. Just worst.
It’s also controlling. There’s another “worst”.
They say there’s no such thing as bad publicity. I’m pretty sure that’s all they’re doing it for, not because they really believe we can be controlled in that way.
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WE NEED TO BE CALLING BS ON THESE LISTS OF THINGS WOMEN SHOULD AND SHOULDN’T BE DOING OR WEARING. I’M URGING EVERYONE READING THIS: PLEASE, DON’T CLICK THROUGH AND DON’T READ THEM. DON’T TWEET OR POST FACEBOOK LINKS TO THE ARTICLES.
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What we need to do in response to these BS articles
The more we click on these clickbait articles, the more they’ll keep paying journalists to write them. We’re fuelling the fire by clicking and reading and tweeting and talking about them – the only people it benefits are the newspapers themselves.
However, we DO need to be calling BS on these lists of things women should and shouldn’t be doing or wearing.
Therefore I’m urging everyone reading this: Please, DON’T click through and DON’T read them. DON’T tweet or post Facebook links to the articles. Simply mention that you’re not reading them because they’re total and utter BS, and that no one should take any notice of them whatsoever because all they are is clickbait.
Definitely talk about them – just leave out the actual links (like I’ve done in this post).
Like trolls and other vile members of society who simply want attention through being utterly revolting human beings (I’m looking at you, Katie Hopkins and Piers Morgan), sometimes the best way to deal with them is to simply ignore them. By doing that, hopefully the demand for such articles will diminish.
Don’t give them the satisfaction, as my mother would say.
HAVE YOU FOUND YOURSELF COMPELLED TO CLICK THROUGH AND READ THESE ARTICLES? ARE YOU GOING TO STOP? TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS OR TWEET ME @NOTLAMB!
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I did exactly the same as you Catherine – I saw the photo of the headline and decided not to click on the link because I didn't want to give it traffic/publicity/oxygen. If these crappy articles are left to wither on the vine hopefully the crappy "journalists" writing them will give up and write about something more worthwhile. We can but hope.
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
Thanks for hosting and I hope you are having a great start to the week.
Well, SNAP! Just like you, I didn't click because even the title seemed to be made to spur faux righteous indignation. I'm so bored of these articles. Clearly, summer is as slow at the papers as it is online! xx
I must admit I'm curious as to what the 'experts' at The Times think I shouldn't be wearing at my age (shocking!), but you're right: it only adds fuel to the fire to click on these links and give them the attention they don't deserve, so I shall restrain myself.
Well done, Catherine, for speaking out, and for being a positive voice!
Actually the article was aimed at both men and women, but I thought it was just a piece of lazy journalism. Written at the end of July, its the holiday season, aka the silly season for newspapers, as there is nothing serious to write about, everyone being on holiday. Best ignored, as a)it will be in the recycling bin next day, and b) it's irrelevant to all normal people anyway. Who cares what we wear, except ourselves!
Agree. Thanks so much for sharing Catherine. As you put it here. It is up to the reader to ignore content. It is just like driving past an accident. Who will just ignore it and keep driving? xo Sabina
Very well written. I must admit I sometimes get caught out by clickbait every now and again. There's nothing worse than an article that plays on people's emotions purely to get hits! So mean. I certainly won't be reading anything that tells me what I can and can't wear that's for sure. Xx
♥ Carly Susanne ~ A Beauty & Lifestyle Blog
Just admit I am curious as to what some think I shouldn't be wearing, but I didn't look on this occasion.
Why? Because I didn't expect to agree, well maybe with some of it, but not because I'm over 40, but because over the years I've developed my own sense of what doesn't suit me. It's not an age related list I have in my head, but to do with my body shape and colouring. I wear what I do because it makes me feel good, not because someone's telling me to.
I suppose the old adage 'there's no such thing as bad ppublicity' is still true.
Just admit I am curious as to what some think I shouldn't be wearing, but I didn't look on this occasion.
Why? Because I didn't expect to agree, well maybe with some of it, but not because I'm over 40, but because over the years I've developed my own sense of what doesn't suit me. It's not an age related list I have in my head, but to do with my body shape and colouring. I wear what I do because it makes me feel good, not because someone's telling me to.
I suppose the old adage 'there's no such thing as bad ppublicity' is still true.
I'm so tired of the articles myself. I'll try not to click on them because it just gets me all upset every time I read them.
Amen to that. Fashion should be FUN!! The mind boggles when I think of what they could say about my other half and his over-40 'fashion crimes' – beanie hat, Clash t-shirts, skinny jeans… Ah, but you never see these articles aimed at men, do you?
I think your mum and mine have the right attitude, Catherine, though mine would add that such 'experts' should "take a long walk off a short pier".
Right. Animal print shirt on, big sunglasses, hoop earrings… sorry Times fashion gurus, this 40 years-old and counting lady has art events to attend. ��
Fortunately I never read them anyway as I couldn't care less.
Greetje
See you at the end of August, and thank you for your lovely, and very close to my heart link up.
Much love
You are right, they are clickbait. As are articles with headlines like "Ultimate way to wear XY". Or "How to wear blablabla" and then you get one version of it, but hey we all know those are the titles that work best to convert =p
I remember the original IG challenge, I participated. Didn't know the hashtag is still going strong, will have to use it some more to give the middle finger to any "Should not over 40" 😉
Alex – Funky Jungle
I always click through to articles like that!! It's madness, isn't it? Thanks to you, I AM going to stop adding fuel to their shitty fires. This kind of thing makes me so mad. Who the hell do they think they are, anyway?
Great post, Catherine. I hope you've made a difference!
Suzy xx
Suzy Turner
Yogadocious
I wrote an article about this very topic about a month ago! (http://sharingajourney.com/4-rules-break-50/) which strongly resonated with my readers. Today, i saw a piece about a photo of a stunning woman who was being criticized for showing clevage. The writer asked why we feel we need to criticizes eachother for our choices, especially as we age. I occassionally get comments from women judging me or someone else in this way. We have a bit of a learning curve on letting go of the rules, letting the media dictate what is age appropriate and our petulant of judging ourselves and eachother.
Thanks for hosting and love the message…do away with the rules!
I completely ignore these so-called fashion rules. LOVE the idea of stopping clickbait altogether 🙂
– http://www.inmyjoi.blogspot.com
Didn't have the remotest interest in searching for it, and erased it from my memory bank, I need to use what brain cells that remain most frugally! I'm 67, goodness knows what they'd have ME wearing and saying and they'd probably give me an inch all over cut and perm! Think my age group is safe, though, as we're not deemed clickbait as we old dears wouldn't know how to click!
Amen, sister. Well said.
Rena
http://www.finewhateverblog.com
We're singing from the same hymn book Catherine. It's a trick the papers have been exploiting to get readers for a couple of decades. Lowlife act & I'm not entertaining it. Didnt even mention the name of the paper in my Instagram post today for the very reason you illustrate in this post. I'm pleased you explained it so perfectly & I hope your suggestion is heard by all your wonderful readers. We have more power than we realise in this matter. Simply don't read it. I'm sure sisters in Turkey (& many other countries) would love for the answer to be so simple!xx
We're singing from the same hymn book Catherine. It's a trick the papers have been exploiting to get readers for a couple of decades. Lowlife act & I'm not entertaining it. Didnt even mention the name of the paper in my Instagram post today for the very reason you illustrate in this post. I'm pleased you explained it so perfectly & I hope your suggestion is heard by all your wonderful readers. We have more power than we realise in this matter. Simply don't read it. I'm sure sisters in Turkey (& many other countries) would love for the answer to be so simple!xx
Ignored! I do, say, wear etc etc just what I think I should do, say and wear – not what It's suggested I should. As always an interesting read Catherine – many thanks. x Jacqui
mummabstylish
I must say I rarely click on articles like that. I believe deep down inside that they are nonsense and could care less what a narrow minded person that would write something like that has to say. Meanwhile I am all about changing the perceptions of society regarding aging. Great post as always! Peace!
Cheryl
http://www.northwestmountainliving.com
Yeah, I ignore them….
I'm not at all interested in what some uptight bore thinks I should or shouldn't be putting on MY body!
I refuse to click through because it increases their traffic and SEO… I can be hard to resist though, as I am curious.
However, I think I can guess them all!
If I want to wear a velvet catsuit or leather shorts I bloody well will.
Samantha
XXX
Fake Fabulous | Style and Fashion, over 40
I was a good girl! I didn't read it, only posted the photo shouting the audacity of said offending article. I don't need to be told what to wear, do, or anything else, so why would I read it?
http://www.vanityandmestyle.com
darn it, why were you not whispering in my ear on Monday when I clicked on a blog that talked about this story and then spent hours trying to find the article. All only so I could trash it but still I was looking and clicking. You are correct we must stop. Thanks for sharing