Why I’m Glad I Didn’t Get Married or Engaged in The Age of Social Media

It’s January 2006. I’ve just got married. No cake, no photographer, no speeches. And NO INSTAGRAM.

We’re so used to sharing all details of our lives on the ‘Gram these days (and reading all the details of those we follow) that the idea of NOT sharing the details of one’s wedding – or the proposal or the ring or the wedding plans – for all and sundry to see is somewhat bizarre.

Bizarre, yes – but I’m actually glad it happened that way for me.

I’m sure we all see at least ONE post every day in our Instagram feeds where someone has artfully photographed their hand with a big sparkly rock on it. Thousands of likes, and rising. The caption reading something along the lines of, “I said yes!”

In The Instagram Age, the way Keith and I chose (I say “chose” like it was all carefully planned and thought out – it wasn’t) to carry out our proposal, wedding plans and wedding would HORRIFY most people. Or at least it would horrify those who live for these things on social media.

 

All the things we didn’t have (by choice)

So as I mentioned, we had no cake, no photographer, and no speeches. We also had no car, no bouquet, no bridesmaids, no dress (don’t worry, I wore trousers)… there wasn’t even an engagement ring.

If you’re under the age of 25 and have grown up with Instagram as a daily norm in your life, then I apologise – go and have a sit-down. No, a lie-down. Fan yourself. BREATHE.

I’ll say that again in case anyone thought they’d read it wrong: NO ENGAGEMENT RING. And I’m perfectly okay with that.

There’s a logical reason why I never had an engagement ring – basically there was no time. I’ve shared the details of our wedding before, way back during the infancy of this blog. I’ve even shared the story of the proposal.

(Long story short: we were never “planning” to get married. Due to various circumstances and the worldwide locations of our families, there was an upcoming window of opportunity for everyone to be together for one time which might not happen again for many years. So, I proposed. He said yes. We shopped for wedding rings and skipped the big rock part. We married six weeks later with just our immediate families and closest friends present.)

But for the whole thing to play out RIGHT NOW, when the world (or rather, my followers, or even just those that Instagram chooses to inform about my upcoming nuptials) is watching fills me with horror and dread.

I just KNOW that the first thing anyone would want to know is how he proposed, and Let’s see the ring. Sorry guys, but neither happened.

If the circumstances for our proposal/engagement/wedding were the same now – but with Instagram as a factor in our lives – I have a feeling that I wouldn’t share the fact that I’d got engaged AT ALL. When I actually DID get married, I didn’t tell anyone at work, for example… I just showed up back in the office after the Christmas Break (we got married right after New Year’s) and said that I needed to change my name for the company records.

No one bothers asking you about the ring or the proposal, they’re too much in shock. (And secretly, I liked it that way.)

As much as I share a lot of details about my personal life, my family and my work here and on social media, there are some things I like to keep all for myself.

BUT – I promise you I don’t wish to rob any brides-to-be to be of their happiness and 100% justified ‘wedding sharing’ – far from it! I have two weddings coming up in the next two years (one friend, one family member) and I couldn’t be more excited about their upcoming nuptials. I LOVED seeing their Instagram posts about the rings and the engagements and seeing them so happy.

 

My thoughts on today’s “must go viral” proposals

For me personally, however, I think the pressure of “having a great proposal story” and having to share it online for all the world to see and hear about would be too much for me. Or rather, I’d end up keeping schtum and just tell people it was perfect and leave it at that. I wouldn’t want to have to tell anyone to mind their own business(!), but I’m worried that’s what I’d secretly want to do.

I’m not one for those YouTube videos where there was some wildly expensive, elaborate proposal in front of huge crowds of people where all manner of dancers, billboards or performing animals are involved – how many are done that way just so it goes viral?

I would DIE if someone proposed to me like that. And I’m the sort of person who quite likes being the centre of attention.

Birthday party just for me? Yes, please. Standing up in front of a crowd and making a speech? Fine. Being proposed to in front of my friends and family or – worse – strangers? NO THANK YOU.

I wouldn’t want to change ANYTHING about the way our (brief) engagement and wonderful wedding happened.

And not having to put any of it on the ‘Gram made it even more perfect, if you ask me.

DID YOU GET MARRIED BEFORE THE AGE OF SOCIAL MEDIA? DO YOU WISH YOU COULD HAVE SHARED IT OR ARE YOU GLAD YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO? OR ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED SOON – HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SHARING DETAILS ON INSTAGRAM…? TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS!

So all that’s left to say is – I’ve shared my thoughts/stories/tuppence-worth this week, now it’s time to share yours… LET’S GET THIS [LINK UP] PARTY STARTED!

 

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