Why is the Way We Look to OTHERS More Important Than How We FEEL We Look?

I have no idea how or why this idea popped in my head this week – I think it came to me in a flash of inspiration when I was idly watching or reading something online. Since WHEN did the way we appear to others become more important than the way we feel about how we look?

When eureka moments like that strike me, I tend to run to my phone (who am I kidding – as if my phone would EVER be running distance away from me… like every good blogger, it rarely leaves my grubby little Instagramming paws) and scribble it down in my Notes app.

Then it means I have something to babble on about on a Friday night for the Saturday Share post – aaaand (as they say) Bob’s your uncle. But I usually remember what event or article triggered my thoughts about a certain subject – not this time.

So we shall assume it came to me in an inspiring flash of rose gold and pink sparkly unicorn-delivered inspiration… isn’t that how all good bloggers start their day and get their material? No?!

Having said that, I have since scrolled down my notes and seen that I made a note of what made me think this after all. However, I enjoyed my unicorn flavour spiel just now, so in it stays.

Like the Ronnie Corbett telling stories from his chair sketches, I DIGRESS.

You must wear “what suits you”

Here’s the thing: Who says we have to wear what suits us (who says it suits us)? Why do we have to wear things that flatter us, or are “right” for our body shapes?

This week I’ve been editing photos for Monday’s #iwillwearwhatilike (how apt!) post, and I’m wearing something in colours that I’ve recently come to realise are not “my” colours. (See, I’ve completely remembered why I was thinking about this topic now).

From editing countless pictures of me for six years, I’ve come to realise that the colours I tend to wear the most are warm colours – orange-red, tangerine, peach, coral, mustard yellow, khaki, warm pinks, etc. I know for a fact that blue-pink lipsticks look somewhat dreadful on me, and I realised (not that long ago) that it was because warm-toned colours are more flattering to my skin tone. So I can wear red lipstick, but it must be coral-red or orangey-red.

So I’ve usually turned down offers to have my colours read (assessed?) because I can tell what I like from photos all too easily.

The big but is – I love them anyway. I love just about all colours. The only two colours I almost never wear are purple and cobalt blue, but even then I own a purple t-shirt and one of my favourite pairs of trousers are my bright blue carrot-shaped pants.

Why then do I have to only wear colours that suit me – what if I just really, really like them? And what if wearing those colours makes me happy? Will it offend others if my complexion isn’t quite as rosy as it could be if I were to choose, say, a warm peach or a sunshine yellow?

In other words – why am I dressing solely for others (because once I’m out and about I can’t see me anymore). I’m just feeling happy in my not-right-for-me cobalt blue and cold pink. Who gives a stuff whether the colour “isn’t doing anything for my face”… I certainly don’t.

The same can be applied to shapes or silhouettes that aren’t supposed to be worn by people who have a certain shape: We are forever having it drummed into us that we MUST wear what flatters us. In other words, not a shapeless shift dress in a bold floral print with a hemline that stops at the widest part of your calf… oops. That’s not what’s recommended for my hourglass shape.

Those godforsaken style rules

If Style Rules are to be adhered to, I ‘should’ be dressing my hourglass shape in v-neck tops (not too voluminous) and pencil skirts. I shouldn’t be wearing dresses with a high neckline and ruffles, no siree. Guess what? I look, for want of a better expression, bloody DREADFUL in pencil skirts. They just don’t suit me at all – at least, I don’t think they suit me. They don’t suit my personality and I don’t feel like myself wearing them.

So if YOU don’t like wearing something because you don’t feel good in it, don’t wear it. And if you DO like something and want to wear it even though it’s not what you “should” be wearing for your colouring or your shape, stop and think to yourself:

Does this item/outfit make me happy? Am I comfortable wearing it?

Yes to both and that’s all that really matters – that way you feel is WAY more important than how you look to others. Come back on Monday for my Not My Colours outfit and tell me what you think… do I look happy wearing the colours?!