That strange feeling of “OMG I used to be completely in love with them when I was five years old” smacks you in the face, making you ponder all your life choices since because how – I mean HOW – on earth could you have thought that person was the absolute bee’s knees and the hottest thing on the planet?
It’s a weird thing when it happens, especially if you’ve not thought about them for a long time. This happened to me not so long ago when something about The Monkees popped up, and it got me thinking about the dozens (I won’t say hundreds as that would be crazy, not to mention embarrassing, =ahem=) of celebrity crushes I’ve had over the years.
[Reading time: 7 mins]
Many fell by the wayside, quickly replaced with The Next Hot Young Thing. Several were what we’d label as “weird crushes” today. Most were “the” hot actors, pop stars, etc. of the day. A select few were Hollywood greats whose appeal was timeless (that even I could recognise as a young girl, despite them having become “old” in my young eyes).
I’ve had a good think and tried to remember all those who’ve endured (albeit unknowingly) my longing gaze over the years. Most were easy to remember, but the 1980s (my teens) hosted such a fickle period of celebrity crushes that I had to look them up in my teenage diaries where I listed a weekly “top 10 of celebrity hunks”.
Even just writing that has made me cringe BIG TIME… “hunks”. Catherine to Ground: Please swallow me up right now. I am ready.
However, the most prestigious crushes were the ones I had crushes on then – and still have a crush on now. (I’ve now said “crush” so many times it sounds weird and eww and like I’m 13, not 51. A bit like when you say your own name over and over and over because Catherine Catherine Catherine Catherine Catherine Catherine Catherine Catherine Catherine Catherine just sounds like the strangest name ever, don’t you think? No?! Just me then…)
Anyway – younger or older, it makes no difference. The appeal of those select few will always endure for me.
So here all of them are, the good, the bad and the downright odd with a few explanations (because good GOD some of them need it), in all their strange celebrity-crush glory…
Erik Estrada (Poncherello in CHiPs)
Davy Jones of the Monkees
Disney’s Robin Hood (yes, the cartoon fox)
Lynda Carter AKA Wonder Woman
Michael Landon (Charles Ingalls, the dad in Little House on the Prairie)
My celebrity crushes started at an early age with my obsession over Poncherello in CHiPs. All the subsequent crushes were a result of the TV I watched, and yes – Wonder Woman was my first girl crush (I loved The Bionic Woman too but Lindsay Wagner wasn’t quite as exotic as Lynda Carter in my eyes). And everyone has fancied at least one cartoon character in their life, am I right? Am I right…?!
John Taylor of Duran Duran
Rob Lowe
Michael J Fox
Emilio Estevez
Scott Baio
Val Kilmer
Morten Harket of a-ha
Harrison Ford
River Phoenix
My preferences changed so frequently in the 1980s (the evidence of which is clear in my teenage diaries) that this list could have been three times as long if I’d included everyone I ever mentioned in my daily scribblings. John Taylor really was “the one” until Rob Lowe came along, and there might be one other that made my “ultimate & forever list” [at the end]. Can you guess which two made it…
Jason Donovan
Luke Perry
Keanu Reeves
Ethan Hawke
Joseph Fiennes
George Clooney
A fairly slim-on-the-ground decade. Maybe there were a few too many boy bands and teenage heartthrobs for my liking, seeing as I’d reached my 20s by 1992? Luke Perry (RIP) stood out for me in 90210, and I thought the hottest actors in the 90s were Ethan Hawke (I mean, how could you not love him in Before Sunrise and Reality Bites) and George Clooney – I was obsessed with ER and saw every episode without fail.
James McAvoy
Tom Hiddleston
Chris Hemsworth
Olly Murs
Josh Duhamel
Timothy Olyphant
Anthony Joshua
Jake Gyllenhaal
Ryan Gosling
Mo Gilligan
Oscar Isaac
Jude Law
This list includes everyone from the Noughties onwards, and my word it’s an impressive list. There are many more I could add, but again I had to keep it reasonably succinct. James McAvoy is at the top for a reason (the reason being those piercing blue eyes of his) and Josh Duhamel comes a close second. I could question the severe crush I had on Olly Murs when he came second in The X-Factor in 2009, but I stand by my choice. The rest are purely self-explanatory.
Harry Styles
Ben Hardy (he played Peter Beale in EastEnders and is now doing lots of movies)
Gemma Arterton
Lily James
Tom Holland
Errrrrr I’m not sure I should admit to any of these ones: it’s either a case of “I’m old enough to be their mother” or it’s a severe girl crush, which isn’t really inappropriate… it was just fun to include them on this list with the boys. You cannot argue with any of these, I won’t let you.
John Craven of John Craven’s Newsround
Stephen Mangan
Sam Rockwell
Tim Roth
Mae Martin, non-binary comedian
Charlie Higson of The Fast Show
Major explanations are always needed for weird crushes…! Anyone British and over the age of about 45 will know that John Craven was a stalwart of children’s TV in the 1970s and 80s. He’s still on TV (Countryfile) and he’s now 83. My childhood crush on him was so intense that my older brother and sister used to tease me whenever Newsround came on, saying, “Look, it’s your hero, John Craven!”
Stephen Mangan, Sam Rockwell and Tim Roth all just have that certain something for me… I can’t explain it. Not attractive by conventional standards AT ALL, but to me they’re damn attractive.
Mae Martin took me by surprise when they appeared on the last season of Taskmaster: was it their eyes? Their smile? Their sense of humour? There’s definitely something to that theory (the GSOH one), because good lord I love Charlie Higson too. Fans of The Fast Show will know him as Johnny Nice Painter (“Black! Black!“) and Ralph, as in Ted and Ralph. I think I love him so much because his voice is just dreamy. He also writes the Young Bond books, so he writes books for young adults. What’s more attractive than a sense of humour, a gorgeous voice and doing stuff for kids? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Gregory Peck
Clint Eastwood
Robert Redford
Paul Newman
Steve McQueen
Do I need to explain?! I can’t think of what else to say here. If you’re questioning anyone on this list, then we can’t be friends.
Jack Coleman as Steven Carrington in Dynasty
Michael Biehn as Reese in The Terminator
Rik Mayall as Lord Flashheart in Blackadder
Tom Cruise as Jerry Maguire
I’ve called these ones “five-minute” crushes because I really only liked them for… well, five minutes. Or at least just one role, and then only fleetingly. In other words, anything else they were subsequently in did NOT result in a continuation of the crush. So it would be fair to say that I had a crush on these particular characters, rather than the actors themselves.
I do remember the first time Rik Mayall appeared as Flashheart in Blackadder very clearly: the next day at school the only thing my friends and I were saying was, “Did you SEE Rik Mayall in Blackadder? When did he become so hot?!”
Brad Pitt
Liam Neeson
Guy Pearce
Josh Duhamel
Timothy Olyphant
I know many of you might be going WHAAAAAAT?! at the inclusion of Brad Pitt in this list and not the 90s list… I’m so sorry, he did nothing for me back then – I don’t know why. I didn’t doubt he was hot, he just wasn’t for me. Fast forward 20 or so years and good lord, he suits being older and greyer and beardier. (As do the other four – Josh Duhamel with his beard and grey hair is ridiculously good-looking.) It was the roof-mending scene in Once Upon a Time In Hollywood that cemented the Pitt-appeal for me. Don’t tell me you didn’t think the same.
Rick Astley
John Barrowman
Tim Henman
Another “oh gawwwwd” list to admit to, but unless you’ve seen them IRL too then don’t judge, lol. I worked in retail in central London for many years and we saw (and interacted with) our fair share of famous faces. Rick Astley: surprisingly tall, and he had long hair at the time (a good look for him back then). Tim Henman had the most beautiful skin, and again, very tall and athletic. And John Barrowman was so dashing (god, another word I can’t believe I’m using) that he charmed the pants right off me.
Rob Lowe
Harrison Ford
Gregory Peck
Keanu Reeves
George Clooney
In no particular order, let’s say that this list is THE list, because unlike most of the others above, this list ain’t ever going to change. I loved them when I was young, I love them now. No fleeting crushes here.
I’m astounded that Rob Lowe is still so incredibly attractive, and it’s over 40 years since I first clocked eyes on him in Coppola’s The Outsiders. He’s so stunningly handsome he doesn’t even need a beard to look good. (My theory about beards is that they make most men look either handsome or even more handsome, and although I know men’s facial hair is influenced by the fashions of the day, as at 2023 very few men don’t look better with a beard. Rob Lowe is one of those men.)
Harrison Ford: I mean, he’s Indiana Jones (the 1980s version) FFS. The man is Indiana Jones AND Han Solo AND Rick Deckard. That’s all there is to his well-deserved place in my “ultimates” list.
Gregory Peck… I don’t think a more handsome man has ever walked Planet Earth, let alone one who was such a thoroughly wonderful human being. And then there’s that voice of his. He’s the epitome of “They don’t make ’em like they used to”.
The modern-day recipient of the title of “most wonderful human being” is Keanu. He’s also not ageing?! Maybe just a bit, but either way he’s doing a fantastic job of it.
George Clooney is the gold standard of celebrity crush for most women. Apart from the blip known as his younger years, once he donned his scrubs in ER that was it for us all, we were doomed. Now he’s older and greyer (and, by all accounts, very happily married to an incredibly intelligent, strong woman whom he obviously adores), he’s even more attractive.
✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷
I’m sure if you’ve managed to get through this entire list without turning away in revulsion at some of my choices(!), you may have noticed a few “obvious” missing people. In the same way that Brad Pitt just didn’t show up on my radar till he was about 50, there are many that just don’t make the grade for me… they would be:
Leonardo DiCaprio
Hugh Jackman
Ryan Reynolds
Johnny Depp
James Dean
Henry Cavill
Chris Evans
David Beckham
Bradley Cooper
Tom Hardy
Jamie Dornan (and, I’m sure, many more)
Don’t get me wrong, I like all of them. I REALLY like all of them (Leo is, in fact, my all-time favourite actor ever). I just don’t like-like them. I understand the appeal, it’s just… each to their own. Let’s say they don’t float my boat or make me go misty-eyed with inappropriate thoughts; there’s no, “Oh, HELLO!” when they pop up unexpectedly on TV.
Which brings me onto…
Hunk
Crush
Heartthrob
Dreamy
Float my boat
Dashing
The name Catherine because I said it too many times 😉
And after unleashing that final, cringey expression on you (“float my boat”?! I mean WTF Catherine), I’ll leave you reeling at my list of celebrity crushes that yes, really DID include a cartoon fox, an ex-Miss World USA, a children’s TV newsreader and the fictional gay son of Blake Carrington.
I’m off to lie down because I’m not sure I’m going to get over this overloaded confession any time soon. See you when my ick has truly left the building. It may be a while.
Thanks for reading,
P.S. I apologise in advance for the amount of Googling of names you are likely to have had to do while reading this post. I’m sure no one will be familiar with ALL of these people, but if you are then you must be my long-lost twin or something…
Linking up to… Monday: Stylish Monday (second Monday of the month), Inspire Me Monday, My Glittery Heart, On Mondays We Link Up || Tuesday: Style With a Smile, Trend Spin/Walking in Memphis in High Heels, Turning Heads Tuesday, Confident Twosday, Happy Now Blog Link Up || Wednesday: WowOnWednesday || Thursday: Chic & Stylish, Ageless Style Linkup (third Thursday of the month), || Friday: Neverending Style, Fancy Friday, On the Edge
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