Some of the Funniest Spam Comments I’ve Received on the Blog

Just in the last week I’ve been told my authored subject matter is stylish, I’ve been thanked for the meal, and apparently unwell unquestionably comes more formerly again.

If you’re wondering what on EARTH I’m talking about, then don’t worry as I don’t know what I’m saying either. I’m quoting people. Or rather, I’m quoting bots.

At least that’s what I think it is: I mean, how else would such crazy stuff be left as comments on my blog? Surely only a bot/AI would come up with such funny (funny meaning weird) things?

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I’ve always received a lot of spam comments, as I’m sure most bloggers have, but thankfully I’m able to send most of them straight to Spam based on keywords and/or blocking people who’ve left dodgy comments in the past.

Leave any type of botty comment (there’s a word I never thought I’d be using on the blog), one that’s peddling some sort of crappy clothing wares or (and this is, of course, the worst) anything smutty, p0rn-related or downright offensive, and you’ll get your email address, website URL and IP address blocked faster than you can say AI is no match for natural stupidity.

But yet they keep coming, and I’m sure they’re not going away any time soon.

How to prevent spam comments

If you have a blog or website that allows comments, make sure you’re doing everything you can to stop spam coming through. If you’re on WordPress, install a plugin that prevents them (I use Akismet). Check the settings to see if you can turn on moderation or at least part moderation where comments can be automatically approved once the commenter has had their first one approved.

(This is the setting that I have, though something funny is happening right now and it’s forcing me to approve ALL comments, I don’t know why. Apologies if it shows Comment is awaiting moderation for you… I’m working on that changing back for regular commenters.)

Also, block the spammers. Block them till the cows come home. This will save you time and energy and the risk of seeing rather disgusting, p0rn0graphic comments. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

At the moment, the spam comments are coming thick and fast as I mentioned. I have to spend a fair ol’ portion of my time blocking the bots and deleting the spam, but block and delete I have to in order to not miss all the genuine comments.

But as they waste so much of my time I thought I’d turn it into a positive and present you, my lovely readers, with a post showcasing some of the most hilariously weird comments I’ve had recently.

No words have been changed and all are presented exactly as written: spelling mistakes, odd grammar, nonsensical bollocks and all. Either the bots need to brush up on their English grammar, or someone needs to see a mental health specialist… :/

Oh, and nothing p0rn0graphic, of course. Just random weirdness about dating is as risqué as it gets round here (but if I’ve quoted something that IS in any way p0rn0graphic/misogynistic and I’ve not understood the reference, then for the love of god TELL ME…)!

Here they are – genuine spam comments I’ve received recently:

~ Sneaker b0tting and need pr0xies?

~ I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. Nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. Unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike.

~ It’s perfect time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions.

~ I am sorry, it not absolutely that is necessary for me.

~ Make your profile appealing and optimistic. After writing the profile it is essential to omit the spelling or grammar error as a result of it will give an attractive look to your profile. Nonetheless, if you put together one which suits your face, that makes you look nice, and that looks clear and sexy, women will as soon as once more see you as attractive.

~ This post is awesome. I love this post so much that I’m going crazy.

~ Nice and lovely clothing i seen ever. I really love it. It is also an informational blog from my side. Thanks for giving us that blog.

~ The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my ihone and tested to see if it can surviove a forty foot drop, just so sshe can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is noww destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

~ I leave work quickly today and come back tomorrow.

~ After a year of relationship round in London, I believe it’s secure to say that the communication abilities of the common mid-twenties Anglo-Saxon man have a variety of room for improvement. Womanish nature is a uncommon characteristic and men value it rather a lot.

~ Your method of explaining everything in this article is actually pleasant, every one be capable of without difficulty know it, Thanks a lot.

~ Having a person to belief, rely on, and simply undergo onerous occasions with is certainly priceless.

~ It seems excellent phrase to me is ——————

~ I’ve just forwarded this onto a coworker who has been conducting a little homework on this. And he actually bought me lunch due to the fact that I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!!

~ Spoiler alert: I date (principally British) men.