Friday, 9 June 2017

When Will Women Stop Tearing Each Other Down Online? #SaturdayShareLinkUp

When Will Women Stop Tearing Each Other Down? A look at online trolls and women openly inviting criticism

Oh, what a fun day I've had on Facebook. Trolls are like the number 19 bus: You wait forever for one, then three come along at once. Oh, the joys of social media...!

Once again the ugly side of social media has reared its ugly head in my part of the blogosphere. On a day when everyone is already being vile enough following yesterday's election results (my goodness I got sick of people telling me who to vote for - tell me to vote, yes, just don't tell me who to vote for, thank you very much), you'd think people would perhaps wind their necks in a bit. Or maybe it got them worked up enough to go out and do a spot of trolling. Who knows.

So what happened? On my Facebook page I posted a picture of an outfit. Nothing too strange about that - I even gushed about how much I "ADORED" the outfit (because, well, I did). I even wrote it in caps, so I was effectively shouting it.

What followed was a stream of somewhat vile, vitriolic and downright rude comments from one particular commenter - a woman, no less. (Men often think it's funny to be vile, they just get blocked immediately.) Before I'd even got to the post and reply to anything, her comments went forth one after the other like this:

"Trousers are shockingly bad"
"I'm a rude girl haha"
"If u want to look like a twat"
"Clothes are shit anyway"

Another commenter thought she'd chip in with a put down: "Meh...doesn't do much for me." No, not that bad, but she'd picked the wrong blogger on the wrong day to write something so unnecessarily pointless and negative.

On another page (yes, this was all today), someone shared a Facebook (outfit) post of mine with the caption:

"I usually like her outfits, but here is what I think about this one... no. It's right up with the torn/shredded jean thing. no. [sic] What are your thoughts? Please share!"

... I was wearing dungarees. Big deal. SO controversial. I've worn dungarees countless times, in real life and on the blog.

The point they're missing

What all of these trolls don't realise is that I SIMPLY DO NOT CARE WHAT OTHER WOMEN THINK OF WHAT I WEAR. I'm not 25, I'm 45. I'm old enough to know what I do like wearing and don't like wearing. And I've long since passed the point of worrying what others think of me, or what I wear. (Dressing without the fear of "What will others think...?" is incredibly liberating.)

In fact I'm not sure I ever really did care, to be honest.

GUESS WHAT? I GO OUT INTO PUBLIC WEARING CLOTHES. THAT'S A PUBLIC SPACE. BUT I SHOULDN'T EXPECT TOTAL STRANGERS TO COME UP TO ME AND TELL ME THAT I "LOOK LIKE A TWAT" THERE EITHER.

On my blog and social platforms I never invite comments along the lines of "What do you think of my outfit?" - I may ask people if they love dungarees yes or no, for example, but I never invite critiques of what I'm wearing, because guess what?

I don't care what people think.

But when will some people realise that I'm not putting my outfits up for scrutiny? They seem to think that the point of all style blogs is to get other women to tell them what they think of their outfits because, you know, You should expect it if you're posting pictures of yourself on the internet.

Guess what else? I go out into public wearing clothes. That's a public space. But I shouldn't expect total strangers to come up to me and tell me that I "look like a twat" there either.

And as for "here is what I think about this one... no" - what exactly is the point of asking women to critique each other this way? All that does is give women permission to tear each other down. EVEN IF I read a post where someone asked if she looks good or should be wearing X or anything else I still wouldn't go on there and say ANYTHING unless I had something positive to say. But as for the page that shared my picture and asked the question, then shame on that person for giving women the green light to behave towards each other this way.

It needs to stop.

I POST MY OUTFITS ONLINE TO ENCOURAGE WOMEN TO BE FEARLESS. TO OWN WHAT THEY WEAR. TO WEAR WHAT THEY WANT. TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT PLEASING OTHERS. TO EXPERIMENT. TO TALK POSITIVELY TO ONE ANOTHER.

I'm not after compliments

Another thing that these trolls seem to think is that I'm upset because they didn't like my outfit. (Yeah, boo flippin hoo.) I'm a little more grown up and tough than that. I've had FAR worse said to me, and those things didn't upset me that much. The mere fact that I started the hashtag #iwillwearwhatilike says volumes about what I think about others' opinions of what I wear.

No, I post my outfits online to encourage women to be fearless. To OWN what they wear. To wear what they want. To stop worrying about pleasing others. To experiment. To talk positively to one another because you know what? Not everyone will like what I wear. That's fine. But someone else might, and by being fearless and wearing what I want it shows other women that it's okay to do that, too. If I get compliments and people actually like the outfits, then that's just a bonus for me personally, of course it's nice to get compliments - but that's not the point of my blog.

But to rip into someone and say their clothes are sh*t and that they look like a twat? TOTALLY unacceptable.

Not to me. Not to another blogger. Not to your best friend. Not to your sister. Not to a stranger in the street. Not to a stranger online.

I'm going to defend those that can't defend themselves

In chatting about this online and with friends in my WhatsApp group, something I'm often told is to simply delete and block, and move on.

Yes. I totally agree with that idea. However, what it doesn't do is stop the trolls going on to do it to someone else. Someone who DOES care (unlike me). Someone who is having self-esteem issues. Someone with low confidence. Someone who is going through a really hard time in life, only to have their outfit shared on a platform separate to theirs, and the question asked "What are your thoughts on what she's wearing?"

Who CARES what's she's wearing and whether anyone else thinks it works? Why this constant need to critique?

MY PART OF THE INTERNET IS A POSITIVE PLACE. MY TAGLINE SAYS THAT I'M "ENCOURAGING WOMEN TO BE FABULOUS - AT ANY AGE." WE'LL NEVER ACHIEVE THAT IF WE ENCOURAGE UNNECESSARY CRITICISM, OR PUT UP WITH IT FROM OTHERS.

I get so upset about this type of behaviour not because I'm upset that they didn't like my outfit, but because they may go and absolutely ruin someone else's day/month/year. If that person is already in a bad place, who knows what place they might get pulled even further down to? Vicki of Honest Mum had a similar experience recently when she was told outright that the dress she was wearing made her look "fat" (Vicki is the same dress size as me). Vicki quite rightly came back and defended herself with this post... Brilliantly written as always.

I'm happy to let comments wash over me. But I won't let people come onto my Facebook page (or any platform of mine) and behave this way. MY part of the internet is a positive place. My tagline says that I'm "encouraging women to be fabulous - at any age."

We'll never achieve that if we encourage unnecessary criticism, or put up with it from others.

So I shall continue to promote positivity, and I shall continue to put those who want to focus on negativity in their place. I hope you're with me.

HAVE YOU BEEN THE TARGET OF TROLLS LATELY (THOUGH I SINCERELY HOPE NOT), AND HOW DO YOU HANDLE THEM? TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS, OR TWEET ME @NOTLAMB...


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Catherine


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58 comments

  1. LOVE this post and the message behind it Catherine!!! I too could care less about what people think, good or bad. My outfit choices reflect my personal style- in that moment, because like much of everything else- personal style can evolve over time. Every now and then someone make a suggestion like - 'I'd wear this with red shoes' - and I think to myself, 'that's a good idea'! Otherwise, I'm in my own world-literally, LOL!!!

    - www.inmyjoi.blogspot.com

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    1. Joi your positivity absolutely shines through in both what you wear AND what you say... and your name couldn't suit you any more perfectly!! It's a joy (haha) to have you share your outfits here every week :) xx

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  2. So what did you say to this troll?? I always feel like no matter what I respond with, they won't change their mind!
    But I love your platform, and maybe after a time, people will realize that we need to empower each other!!
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

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    1. If you click through to my Facebook page Jodie you'll see my replies... Often I just play with trolls and get sarcastically sickly sweet, but bad language and insults I won't put up with. Thank you hon and you're right, I hope these types of women will see that empowering each IS the way to go x

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  3. Catherine, this is a hot topic isn't it?!
    I totally agree about not caring what other people think of my outfits... I just want to share them to maybe give other people ideas about how to wear their own things.
    How many times have a googled "What to wear with a XXX" to get ideas? LOADS!
    That, for me , is the whole point of blogging about style.
    That, plus sharing ideas, and getting tips and tricks from others.
    I often ask questions to find out people's opinions or thoughts.
    Mostly for my own inspiration!

    The blogging world should be positive, and a place we can share ideas and support each other.
    To be honest there is nothing a troll could say that would upset me, I have had MUCH worse in real life.
    plus there is nothing a troll could say about my appearance/body etc that I have not heard before or thought myself.
    Water off a duck's back as you rightly say.
    I always feel a bit sorry for trolls, they must be sad people to have time on their hands to waste on trying to pull someone down. Envy is a terrible thing!

    Anyone who is happy and confident never needs to make someone else feel bad.
    Only those with low self esteem get a "kick" out of trying to put others down in order to make themselves feel better.

    The online world is very similar to real life in that respect.
    Surround yourself with positive people and ditch the ones that drag you down.

    As for block and delete... I wouldn't, unless the comments became threatening or were sexual in nature (that's a different kettle of fish all together and would involve the police!)

    Bitchy comments should stay, as should your replies.... it helps show others that we (as women) don't need to stand for this kind of behaviour and we have a voice.
    It also shows the trolls up as the pathetic and pitiful people they are.
    A brilliant post Catherine, thank you!
    XXX
    Samantha
    Fake Fabulous | Style and Fashion, over 40

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    Replies
    1. Oh Samantha thank you for such a wonderful comment... that's longer than some people's blog posts!! πŸ˜€
      You're right about them being sad people, and I did address that in the comments to the really awful one. I doubt she's ever had a compliment in her life so ultimately I feel sorry for her.
      What a shame, isn't it... ☹️ xx

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  4. I have that on the street, not very often people just stared, but never on the blog , facebook, twitter.... I find that such a poor taste that I will say no more.
    Thank you so much, dear Catherine.

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    1. I love that you are so dignified, Sacramento! It's such a shame that people can't seem to handle someone dressing so creatively, but I know that you will never change and that's a wonderful thing x

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  5. So, so crazy because I LOVED the outfit you posted, I mean loved it so much I wish I had it! Trolls be damned you won an awesome award this year celebrating your style and taste,so sad some people are so unhappy they spew ugly venom.
    xo,
    Kellyann
    http://www.thisblondesshoppingbag.com

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    1. Thank you Kellyann my lovely... Haha yes it was tempting to say "well how come I won the UK best fashion blogger award then" but that would have been childish!! 😜

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  6. Bravo Catherine!! I love your feisty response. Was this woman on drugs or inebriated when she was posting, I wonder? Trolls baffle me, full stop. I never will and never want to understand their mentality. But it can only come from a place of fear and anger, surely. Anyway, I am a long-time reader of your blog and you inspired me to take more risks with what I wear and experiment a little. It is slowly dawning on me that I do not have to inhabit a style strait jacket and can have fun and just go with my gut instinct. If it makes ME happy, I will damn well wear it. Your smile in the outfit photos in question says it all. You love it, and you radiate joie de vivre wearing it. That should be what personal style is all about. And you look fabulous.

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    1. Do you know what she may well have been Rozanne... The comments just came one after another without any prompting, so maybe she had had a few too many?!

      I'm so glad that I've inspired you to take risks - that's EXACTLY what I want to hear, and that proves my whole point about what the blog is actually for! I constantly get "I don't know why you're so upset I don't like your outfit" or "why can't you handle a bit of criticism" - they just don't get it. I'm not going to stop wearing the outfits/items of clothes I wear just because one person doesn't like it. Hell, I'm not going to stop wearing something if a HUNDRED people don't like it. Like you, I wear stuff to please myself, and THAT'S my message, not "oh, hmm do you like my outfit?".

      THANK YOU hon so much for the support xx

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  7. Hi Catherine...I love your attitude and I think I may have started it πŸ˜‰ Ha! Only because I'm 65 and really don't give a toss what others think about what I wear and I constantly campaign for women to get over the idea that they must wear dull boring stuff as soon as they pass their first big birthday (don't agree with that either....ageism is soo negative). Anyway congrats to you for constant support for other women bloggers and your fighting instinct against the detractors. πŸ‘πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜❤️ Sarah aka Badassbabyboomer

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    1. Wow Sarah your attitude is fantastic - thank you so much!! I LOVE the big birthdays, but then I love all birthdays hehe x

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  8. I really hope that will never happen to me, because I would be very upset. Why?? No idea. Those women are so awful.

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    1. I hope it'll never happen to you too Nancy - unfortunately I've had it right from the beginning of my blog so I'm used to it... doesn't mean I will put up with it though!

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  9. Yes, Yes and Yes again Catherine. Love this! In my best East London/Essex twang, Tell the haters to Do One!! I love your confidence and ability to not give two hoots about what think. Bloody good luck to ya!

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    1. "Tell the haters to Do One" - love it!!! thank you Kerry x

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  10. They obviously don't get the point that you like what you're wearing so their opinion doesn't matter. I don't understand why people feel the need to criticize what someone else is wearing - if you don't like it, say nothing, unless asked for an honest opinion, and then do it in a constructive way. I've only had one trolling experience so far, which was on Twitter - not from another blogger, I hasten to add. This person said, amongst other things, that I was vacuous for blogging about fashion. I gave as good as I got and I RT'd her in my responses. She blocked me. Ha! Good riddance. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya! Good job we have a lovely, supportive community of bloggers who stick together.

    Emma xxx
    www.style-splash.com

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    1. Vacuous for blogging about fashion, Emma?!!! What, the multi-million (billion) pound industry that is fashion?? Dear oh dear, how sad to have the view on life that everything has to be serious and not frivolous or creative and enjoyable. Life HAS to include things that make us happy, things that we enjoy like the arts and culture or else we'd bloody well wither and die.

      Anyway that's her loss... and a woman, as well! Thanks Emma my lovely - you're always a ray of sunshine! x

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    2. Thanks Catherine :-) Oddly enough, it was just before the 2015 election, and I'd tweeted something mildly sarcastic about Question Time. I think you must be right about elections getting the trolls worked up. As if a woman can't be interested in politics and fashion!

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  11. An amazing post. I think it is our whole society that really needs to do this. I think that the trolls are just jealous and are afraid to admit it and that is why they tear others down.

    Thanks for hosting and have an amazing weekend.

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    1. Gosh you're right csuhpat - yes the whole of society does need to do this!!

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  12. I am so sorry that has happened to you! You look wonderful and seem like a very nice person so I can't really understand anyone saying those things to you. Don't let them get to you because something must not be quite right with them!

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    1. Oh Lanae it happens regularly and has been happening in the six years I've been blogging, so it's quite normal... Just not acceptable! They definitely don't get to me, they just miss the point and do it on a space I've made into a positive one, and THAT'S what I object to...

      "Not on moy land!" 😜

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  13. This kind of thing makes me SO mad. I'm so happy to know you don't let it affect you, Catherine, but yeah, when people think this is an acceptable way to speak to each other, they're just going to do it to someone else, who could be really badly affected by it, especially if it's someone who's already struggling with self esteem, body image etc. I think people assume that, because we put these photos "out there" we must be teflon-coated or something, but owning a blog doesn't make us superhuman, for God's sake! And yes: I don't know any fashion bloggers who post outfits *because they want to be criticised*. We do it to share something we loved and enjoyed wearing, so why try to ruin that for someone?

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  14. Well said Catherine. Occasionally I get negative comments on Facebook and I delete the post so that it's visible to the troll and their friends but not to everyone else. I'm old enough to take criticism but I don't like it when these people criticise posts I've shared of other bloggers. I want to encourage a positive community, same as you.

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  15. I truly feel sorry for these trolls. What a sad bubble they live in. You've reacted very well, calling them out on their behaviour but not stooping to retorts on their own appearance (which I've seen happen, as they tend not to be people who have a creatively interesting and diverse approach to presenting themselves). I think this post is excellent and I will bookmark it for future (hoping that I never have to point someone towards it!). Xx

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  16. Well said that woman!!!! I think we're all in agreement that the women in question must have little or no self-respect. It's shocking and it's a form of bullying. I wonder if they'd be brave enough to say it to your face. I doubt it. They hide behind computer screens and think it's ok. Well, you are one strong, inspirational woman and thank you for being so positive and for championing the 40+ community. Big hugs xxxxx

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    1. You are so right, as I started to read this, my first thought was "If you wouldn't say to their face, don't post it."
      What they don't get is Catherine is standing up straight and proud, and beautiful (inside and out) while they're just showing the ugly side of their nature. All they seemed to have achieved is a large number of people knowing how petty and spiteful they really are.

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  17. This is part of why the thought of involving Facebook with my blog makes me nervous. There is a trolling nature there with public/semi public posts anyway, I am too sensitive to deal with it. Sorry you had to, you are a bright light of bold beautiful 40+ fashion, and I love the accompanying pic with this post, your expression is perfect! p.s. sorry if I was one of the people tweeting about voting! My only defense is my home country elected a dangerous buffoon(!) so it drives me nuts, and I am passionate about the NHS as a cancer survivor. X

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  18. This pisses me off to no end (sorry to swear!) Its just down right rude and usually comes from people who are severely lacking in their own confidence and from an insecure place, which is just awful as they seem to then put their negativity on to others. Its just not on! I haven't had much trolling on the internet but i have had negativity in real life and wrote about it a few months back. It upset me at the time and i spent a few nights babbling on to Salv about how unfair it was. I wasn't confident in myself at that point, BUT it soon taught me to give no shits.
    I come from the vein of " if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all" More people need to practice this. Having said that, these trolls are often just out for a reaction as their lives are so menial they crave attention in whatever form they can get it. Sad and pathetic.
    I know you will continue to do what you do so you need no encouragement from me, but just for the record, i think you're bloody marvellous, an inspiration in style and tenacity to all!XX

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  19. I don't really care what people think either, however it still hurts a little bit when people are so damn vile (I've had people leave book reviews like that too). It's so unnecessary. It's usually down to jealousy though. They're jealous of your success, your beauty, your unique sense of style, etc! Ultimately, you and your stye are totally fabulous and the people who really matter know that, Catherine.
    Hugs
    Suzy xxx
    www.suzyturner.com

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  20. Catherine, this is such a great post...as always. I don't get it either. Why anyone feels it necessary to throw such hateful words around. It's pointless and ridiculous. Especially when we confident empowered women really don't give a sh*t what others think...making the tossing about of negative comments that much more pointless. I personally make it a goal on a daily basis to compliment at least one stranger. And honestly, the reactions I get from delivering a heartfelt genuine compliment to a complete stranger are so much more worth my while then criticizing someone. Why do people not get that? Giving a compliment makes both parties to the interaction feel great! Voicing hurtful words doesn't really make anyone feel good, does it? Not even the person saying it...because clearly they already feel awful to be filled with so much negativity. In my experience, if you put light and kindness out into the world, it comes back on you tenfold. And the same is true of negativity...if you keep pouring negativity into the universe, the universe will keep giving negativity back. Why do people not get that?! Grrrrr.....I am just going to keep be my happy, positive, kind, empowered, confident self...and I am going to keep interacting with all of you fabulous positive ladies! #youremypeople

    Good for you for addressing the trolls in your own way! (By the way, I'm not even sure how a person can look like a twat!)

    Shelbee
    www.shelbeeontheedge.com

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  21. As we would say in norwegian: Jeg heier pΓ₯ deg!! Translate to something like: I am cheering for you 😘 You are one of the best things in the world of blogging and you have my support!

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  22. I've been trolled a lot for my political views, and a little bit for "who people think I am". It always amazes me how people can read a single blog post or scroll through your feed and determine that they know exactly who you are. I've never been trolled for fashion other than someone mentioning they didn't like my shoes, but I think it's because I wear more traditional clothes whereas you are very creative with your styling. When you're more creative and unusual with your style, I think your going to get more criticism because people are either going to love it or hate it. But as you stated, you don't dress to please anyone else, you dress for you.

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  23. Amen to this post!! I love what you said and completely agree...what a boring world it would be if we all thought and liked the same things, or came in the same size and shape.
    ps. a HUGE congratulations on your award win, it was well-deserved :)

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  24. Wow! There's just so much to say about this post. To me, a true"troll" is someone who is maligning, debasing, rude and nasty. But--there's a difference someone who is writing a comment in earnest and just may be giving their honest critique on what is being worn.
    For me, I do ask opinions often on my blog. I dunno--it just seems like one of the ways to engage. I have to say, I've been very, very fortunate inasmuch as not having been truly "trolled". I've had comments from readers that absolutely don't share my love and affection for torn jeans (OMG. I love them) and I've had comments from those who want me to but a curb on my distain (my INTENSE distain) for Trump. But it's all kept within the confines of respect and consideration. I've had emails sent to me from people who did not feel it "right" to comment on my blog and have given me a good lashing--and in the end--it always works out. But, I've yet to come across a bona-fide troll.
    My FB page--I'm kinda lazy and I don't even know if it's public--it may be private. I dunno. I'm lazy and don't spend much time on it.
    As you may be aware, I'm more concerned with the "follow to unfollow" on IG (I linked your IG blog post on my blog: https://atypical60.com/2017/06/04/my-anti-social-media-personality-is-on-the-rise/
    Catherine, I'm a generation and a half older than you and as an "older" sister, I want to say, just delete the trolls or block them. They aren't even worth the wonderful energy you have. Stay cute. Stay generous. Stay entertaining. Stay as good as you are and forget those who troll. They are assholes.

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  25. It only happened to me once on Facebook. A woman put down my outfit. I answered with humor , she laughed and removed her comment. And that was that. You know that I appreciate honesty and welcome criticism too. I also know I am different from you on this subject. You like to inspire, I like to get feedback. What we have in common is that I don't care what people think. I will wear what I want and like.
    And I think it is sweet of you to defend the more vulnerable women but I don't think it is going to help. People who want to express negative opinions won't stop doing it.
    Greetje

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  26. What gets me about leaving such a comment is that it's utterly pointless. I mean we're talking about personal taste! So even if someone doesn't like your outfit someone else will & of course as you so rightly point out, you can wear whatever you bloody well like!
    So that makes me think she is only doing it to be hurtful & unkind. Shame on her.
    xxx

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  27. I am grateful to you for writing this bold post and I am so sorry that this happened to you. There will always be mean bullies or trolls that have nothing better to do than to try to suck the happiness out of others to make themselves feel better and shame on them for doing so. You're #IWILLWEARHWHATILIKE has shifted how so many of us over 40 gals look and feel about fashion, style and ourselves. You've created a bold community here that we are all blessed to be a part of.
    I also like that you leave the comments there. It shows us that when we get a troll commenting on us, that we are not alone.
    Keep doing what you do, you continue to inspire and empower women.
    xx
    Suzanne
    www.AskSuzanneBell.com

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  28. I set off the comment feature on my blog because of trolls. Even when going with approval it just jammed my email box. They were often age related, mean and even sexist. I had some on facebook in that categories too and just banned them. I had a 20 something on instagram commenting "Not to be mean, but I just don't get it! That's just my opinion. I'm certainly not a fashionista." The photo showed and outfit with 3 different prints in one look (polka dot Keds, striped top, floral print skirt). I decided to let it rest there. She basically identified herself as incompetent and stupid on top of it. Why on Earth would an intelligent person publicly announce to the World what they have no clue off? The worst I ever heard was in a consignment store when the salesperson recognized me as the fashion/style blogger of High Latitude Style and realized that I am professor of atmospheric sciences. She said to me "I didn't know that you are educated and working. I thought you are just an old empty nester being bored." Do I have to say that I have no kids except when cats count?
    Don't let ignorant people pull you down. There are more people who appreciate what you do including you.

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    1. I'm really shocked that you've had such negative comments Nicole. I did wonder why it wasn't possible to comment on your posts. Hats off to you for rising above it and carrying on doing what you love and wearing what you want. Emma xxx

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    2. So that's why I haven't been able to leave comments on your post, Nicole!! What a notion. That people who are into fashion and style can't possibly be intellectually inclined, it's just unfathomable, right??

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  29. Unfortunately I think women are taught from a very young age to talk mean about other women. Usually it is behind backs, the internet just allows you to be upfront. And lately there seems to be blooming a tearing down culture in general. I agree with others above that those people are usually in some regard quite miserable about themselves. keep on doing your "thang"

    That said, I have a love hate relationship with the word twat. I love the sound of it pronounced (I am weird yes) but I do not like that its meaning is used as a swear word. If you don't use it as swear word (which it shouldn't be because let's face it, by attachment they are actually refering to being female) than I feel it is rather a compliment. She told you that you looked rather feminine ;-)

    Alex - Funky Jungle

    P.S. Maybe I should mention I mentioned you

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  30. Agree with Sam. However, people commenting on your style, your life, your actions, sharing advice I did not ask for, that I find quite condescending - if I may quote Elizabeth Bennett here. So love "tawt" for its sound :) But that is just me being totally in love with the English language. Enjoy your Sunday Catherine! Love, Sabina

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  31. I'm just showing a bit of what I'm doing!!!! Let people see :D I'm into what ur doing and I might need to pay attention to some of my responses on blogs----I wonder if I'm a critiquerrrrr!!!!

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  32. Sadly, for as long as the human ego continues to function, envy will persist. I would say I'm sorry you had to go through that, Catherine, but having read your response to the situation, I feel sorry for the poor sod who threw you that blasphemous line!! What an idiot GRIN xoxo

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  33. I saw your post on Twitter the other day and was pretty disgusted that woman just kept commenting and being vile. I understand that with blogging and social media we have put ourselves into the public domain, but I don't think i will ever understand why someone would read something and decide to make nasty comments. If they don't like it they shouldn't read it, don't follow, don't engage. I just can't understand the mentality of it. But as my friend's dad once said - you can't reason with morons.

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  34. fortunately no trolls although I hate to say that. By posting that comment I worry that I invite the opportunity. I have never figured out trolls. If you don't like something remain silent, if you don't like a person don't follow. It doesn't take a genius to recognize your behaviour is not acceptable. Be it comments to you because they want to tear down a success or to a celebrity it is all the same childish bullying. Good on you for just not deleting because you are correct they need to be called out, chastised held accountable

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  35. Thank you for hosting dear! I'm linking back to you HERE Hope you'll check out my latest Fashion post

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  36. Catherine I love your response to the low life who have tried to drag you down to their level. At school we were given a simple bit of advice - "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all" and I think this applies so well here. These women obviously come from a disadvantaged background and clearly feel envious of your lot. A friend of mine said she has cultivated the hide of a rhino so that she isn't upset by comments from others. You surely have done the same and it's serving you well currently.

    Well done for standing up to these bullies and for naming and shaming them too. I'm a big believer in Karma and wonder if each and every one of them have considered what bad Karma they are storing up for the future. I dread to think that things may be lying in wait for them...

    You're a great role model for so many Catherine and that's why you're a winner of awards and they are not. Enough said.

    Best wishes
    Anna x

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  37. Excellent post and message! Thank you for sharing it, you're an inspiration and a great role model! At least for me :)

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  38. What a great a post. You are so right. None of us would ever go up to a stranger and say "you look awful", but I have gone up to a stranger and said "You look fantastic!" Most recently, it was the cashier at the National Gallery shop on a trip to London with my daughter. The young woman did look fabulous and being told so obviously made her day. She seemed pleasantly surprised to have someone comment on her appearance. When we left, my daughter said "Did you see her face? You made her so happy!" My response was "Well, she had to be told. She looked amazing, didn't she?" And it felt good to make someone happy. The young woman obviously cared about her appearance. I think my daughter learned a lesson as well. So, thanks for the post, Catherine. It's always better to be positive.

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  39. Such a beautiful look, i love your outfit. The photos are very beautiful.

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  40. Thank you, for taking a stand against these online bullies, who feel that they must belittle other people for their fashion choices, for some completely unfathomable reason!

    I do wear exactly what I want, and the older I get, the more creative and individual my sense of style is becoming, and the less I care about what other people think of the way I choose to dress myself. On the other hand though, I have always been sensitive about my appearance, and I'm not sure I could remain as unruffled as you have been when faced with some of the comments you have received lately! So brava, for not letting it get to you, and for defending those of us who don't have quite as much confidence in our choices as we'd like to (I'm getting there though).

    What amazes me, is that these critics are under the misapprehension that we're dressing to please them, or anyone else, rather than ourselves. Thanks for putting them straight, and enlightening them as to how irrelevant their opinions actually are!

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  41. So far not on any of my outfit posts. But if that happens, I'll have no problem dealing with it, as I've had more than my share of trolls on my business FB page and frankly, like you, I don't take it personally.Usually I respond professionally, then block if they keep it up. After all, it is your space. There is no reason you have to take abuse in it.

    But I do feel saddened by the fact that there are some people who feel compelled to be mean for no other reason than they can. And online venues seem to attract them because they can dish out their nastiness anonymously.

    But what really baffles me is, why do these girls even give a rat's a** what you were wearing? It's only clothing for pete's sake. The term "Get a life" comes immediately to mind.

    Theresa

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