Sunday, 20 November 2016

Why Are Many Younger Bloggers So Horribly Competitive?


Why Are Many Younger Bloggers So Horribly Competitive? | Not Dressed As Lamb

This question - why are bloggers so competitive - has perplexed me for a while.  

It's something that comes up time and time again in the blogosphere:

"Blogging is so competitive!"
"It's a dog-eat-dog business!"
"Nobody will help you when you're a blogger!"
"She was such a b**** when I met her in person!"

This cattiness is something I find absolutely abhorrent, but I'm also in slight disbelief that it actually occurs because my experience as an over 40 blogger has been nothing short of overwhelmingly positive. Yet I hear stories of this sort of thing happening time and time again, and unfortunately I find that it's amongst the younger bloggers - the 20 somethings and perhaps a few (and I mean a few) 30 somethings who are moaning about the attitudes of their peers.

But why is it like that? And is it really just amongst the younger bloggers? Is it possible to be a successful blogger without getting a reputation for being a b****?


The day I learnt about catty bloggers

I was first made aware of this cattiness amongst bloggers when I went on a (blogging) trip to Paris last year with about six other bloggers - all of whom were in their 20s and 30s. I'd not met any of them before, but they were all lovely girls.

It was a whirlwind 24 hour thing, so the one night we had in the hotel we went to the bar and sat drinking and chatting. The conversation was going well, until it moved onto whether any of us knew a particular blogger personally.

The story that followed really opened my eyes: This very successful blogger had apparently treated the people hosting an event appallingly, in a "Don't you know who I am" kind of way. My reaction was one of incredulity - I mean, did she think she was Mariah Carey or something? - but as my reaction so often when watching movies about jealous partners or people just being general arseholes is, I just find it hard to believe that these people really exist.

I told the group that as a 40-something I'd never encountered anything like that, and that my community is nothing but supportive, kind and generally wonderful.

I found myself being stared at by several pairs of wide, staring eyes of disbelief.

My description of the blogging community that I'm part of was met with wonder - as if I'd just described the magical mecca of blogging. They couldn't quite believe that there were bloggers out there who stood up for and supported each other... I mean, how sad (as in upsetting, not as in pathetic) is that?


How the over 40 blogging community is different

After I told them about how much we all support each other (and this was a year ago, before I'd met all the other ladies in the Over40Collective in person), it seemed to trigger a wave of comments that I came across on social media and on blog posts - all bemoaning the fact that blogging was so competitive and bloggers so unsupportive.

NOT ONCE DID I HEAR A 40+ BLOGGER SAY THAT THEY'D ENCOUNTERED OTHER OLDER BLOGGERS BEING BITCHY AT AN EVENT, OR THAT THEY'D BEEN MET WITH ARROGANCE OR CONTEMPT WHEN COMMUNICATING WITH THEM ON SOCIAL.

(You know when you learn a new word that you've never heard before and then you hear it used over and over? It was like that with the statements about other bloggers. It was like the floodgates were opened up - after that nearly every time I chatted to a younger blogger they would mention how everyone was just so darn horrible.)

But what was so very obvious was that it was all younger bloggers saying these things. Not once did I hear a 40+ blogger say that they'd encountered other older bloggers being bitchy at an event, or that they'd been met with arrogance or contempt when communicating with them on social.

I'M REALLY NOT SURE WHETHER IT'S THE AGE THAT WE LIVE IN, OR WHETHER IT'S THE AGE THAT WE ARE. OLDER WOMEN ARE GENERALLY TOO WISE AND TOO LONG IN THE TOOTH TO GET INTO CHILDISH SQUABBLES.

I'm really not sure whether it's the age that we live in, or whether it's the age that we are. Older women, whilst sometimes thoughtless and catty, are generally too wise and too long in the tooth (and in many cases, too tired) to get into childish squabbles, cat fights and whispering behind each others' backs. Many older bloggers have already had long careers or been bringing up children for many years (or quite often both), and they just can't be bothered with behaviour that belongs in a school playground.

So this, in a way, is an open letter to any younger bloggers out there who are either a) thinking that bloggers are all selfish and competitive, and/or b) thinking that being selfish and competitive is the way to get ahead.

Believe me, no one gets anywhere by being like that - maybe in the short term, but not in the long term.

As my mother always says: It'll come back and bite you in the bum one day, so just don't do it...!


Some uplifting quotes from 40+ bloggers

As an added extra to the post, I asked my fellow members of the Over40Collective - a professional blogging group I'm (so proud to be) part of - this question:

"In what way has another blogger helped you or someone you know in the past that you thought was really great/helpful/kind etc.? Something that helped you to either sort a problem out, or do something in a much more efficient way, or gave you lots of exposure, or something that led onto something really brilliant?"

Enjoy their answers - and if you know a younger blogger who might like to read these uplifting answers, please do share this post with them...!

(As a final note: Please note that I am most definitely NOT saying that all younger bloggers are like this. It is most definitely a minority... I think just about every single younger-than-me blogger I've ever met has been nothing short of absolutely lovely...!)


Liz, What Lizzy Loves


"I started my blog almost three years ago, having done no research and knowing nothing of the technical side. Over the years, I met more and more bloggers online and began to realise just how supportive the blogosphere is. Like-minded, supportive women are just a click (or a Tweet) away.

I BEGAN TO REALISE JUST HOW SUPPORTIVE THE BLOGOSPHERE IS. LIKE-MINDED, SUPPORTIVE WOMEN ARE JUST A CLICK (OR A TWEET) AWAY.

I tentatively made contact with one of my blogging idols when we were taking part in a competition over two years ago and we have been friends ever since. Now, she sends useful links, shares social media tips and just the other day pointed out that a social media icon was missing from my online boutique. Another blogging friend pointed out that I should be optimizing my image size so my blog loads more quickly. Day after day, these snippets of advice help to make my blog better.

I'm now in the process of helping a friend set up her own website and social media channels, using everything I have learned from my fellow bloggers to do so."


Nikki, Midlifechic


"When my very first post went live, a well-known beauty blogger picked it up on Twitter and was very supportive. She encouraged my first few posts and introduced me to Bloglovin which is how my traffic began to grow.

In the early days of blogging, when you don’t have many readers or comments, it is easy to feel defeated and I suspect quite a few people give up. Having a more established blogger to hold your hand makes such a difference so I try to 'pay it forward' and keep an eye open for bloggers who are just starting out.

BLOGGING CAN BE A LONELY WAY OF LIFE AT TIMES BUT IF YOU CAN BE PART OF A SUPPORTIVE NETWORK IT IS ONE OF THE BEST JOBS IN THE WORLD.

I now also have a group of blogging buddies who are at hand to share tips and replace the water cooler chat that you can miss from working in an office. Blogging can be a lonely way of life at times but if you can be part of a supportive network it is one of the best jobs in the world."


Michelle, RetroChicMama


"Soon after I started my blog, someone nominated me for a Liebster Award. This unexpected, seemingly random gesture of kindness was the beginning of an online connection and we quickly became real life friends.

PROMOTING OTHER BLOGS INSTEAD OF COMPETING AGAINST THEM IS THE KEY TO GROWTH FOR US ALL.

I realised I had inadvertently stumbled onto the perfect medium for women like me to link up and support one another. Promoting other blogs instead of competing against them is the key to growth for us all.

This thought soon took hold prompting me to reach out to the women bloggers I admired. Before I knew it I had become part of something truly amazing - my new blogger girl squad genuinely wanting each other to succeed!"


Annette, Lady of Style


"The first time I learned about the importance of networking was back in the late 90s and ever since it became an essential part of my professional life. When I started blogging four years ago, I was overwhelmed by the worldwide support amongst 40+ bloggers and soon realised this is the best part about blogging.

MEETING FABULOUS LIKE-MINDED WOMEN ONLINE AND IRL WHO SUPPORT EACH OTHER... IMMENSELY HELPED ME GROW MY BLOG AND SOCIAL MEDIA.

Meeting fabulous like-minded women online and IRL who support each other instead of competing against each other immensely helped me grow my blog and social media - it is my aim to give back as much as I can!"


Michelle, The Barefaced Chic


"Before I even launched my blog, I decided to reach out to other mature bloggers and ask one simple question, "What is beauty?" I explained that I would be including the answers I received in one of my first posts. Not every blogger answered the question, but they all answered my email. Every. Single. Blogger. I knew then that I had found a crowd of supportive women who are happy to help each other.

I AM AMAZED EVERY DAY AT THE EXTENT OF THE POSITIVE SUPPORT (RATHER THAN COMPETITION) THAT EXISTS AND I AM SO VERY, VERY PROUD TO BE A PART OF IT.

When I published the post it received quite a few tweets and shoutouts - unexpected awesomeness. I am amazed every day at the extent of the positive support (rather than competition) that exists and I am so very, very proud to be a part of it!"


Lisa, The Sequinist


"Madeleine Albright said, "There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women." My pre-blogging career was in a very male-dominated industry, so I'd never worked with many women before.

At first I quite liked the idea of blogging because I thought it would be a solitary and independent pursuit, writing about what I love and sharing it.  I had NO idea how much I'd come to rely on other bloggers.  Almost daily, a blogger teaches me a tech-trick that I didn't know, promotes one of my posts or, more importantly, encourages me to blog on when I have the classic why-do-I-bother moments.

ALMOST DAILY, A BLOGGER TEACHES ME A TECH-TRICK THAT I DIDN'T KNOW, PROMOTES ONE OF MY POSTS OR ENCOURAGES ME TO BLOG ON WHEN I HAVE THE CLASSIC WHY-DO-I-BOTHER MOMENTS. 

Madeleine may be right about unhelpful women having a place in hell, but I certainly hope there is a special place in heaven for all of the supportive blogging angels who have helped make my first two years of blogging so rewarding, and SO much more fun than working with men!"


WHAT EXPERIENCES HAVE YOU HAD OF BLOGGERS AND THEIR ATTITUDE? TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS OR TWEET ME @NOTLAMB!


Catherine

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49 comments

  1. I am a Dutch fashion blogger with just a small blog, but the sorry I get from American bloggers is just fantastic. I think that when your blog if big like yours you don't need the support, but I can certainly use it. Dutch bloggers aren't supportive , most of them, they are criticising and only the numbers count. But I also notice that when you are commenting regurly, and being just a blog, other bloggers don't response or be supportive because my blog is just a small one. Not interesting. So, you can say that you only find other bloggers supportive, but would that be the same when you're blog wouldn't be add big and as popular as it is?

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    1. Nancy I think you're absolutely mistaken to say that I don't need the support - support is *everything* in blogging!! Support comes in many different forms - not just comments - it's about others talking to you (and about you) on social media, others giving you tips and tricks, others contributing to a particular project when you've reached out to them (like the ladies who've kindly come up with their answer to my question for this post), and on and on. Not to mention the friendships and support just on a personal level...!

      I'm not sure exactly what you're saying here (is it that you're saying I only have support because I'm a "bigger" blogger - which I'm not really)? Because even when I started five years ago I found there was great support from other bloggers, so as far as the 40+ community is concerned I have ALWAYS found it supportive - and that's nothing to do with numbers.

      I'm sorry that you haven't found Dutch bloggers supportive - but then I know some Dutch bloggers and they're just as wonderful. There are bad apples everywhere you go in all areas of life. Apologies that I don't quite get you're saying...! C x

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    2. Haha, I wrote it quick and there are some mistakes! Sorry, about that. I meant that when you have a astablished blog you dont need the support as hard as a small one. And with support I mean other bloggers linking up on your blog or spredding the word. I know that the ,,bigger , blogs dont ,,need,, the smaller ones. But the nice contacts are very helpfull and just nice. Of course there are friendly Dutch bloggers but the mentality is different. They are often not as social as most American bloggers I know! So, I am sorry I wasn t quite clear, I did not mean you dont need the support because blogging is of course all about support.

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  2. Hi Catherine, interesting post. Being a new blogger with a small blog no I can't honestly say I've experienced either, the bitchiness or the support. So, as Nikki says above feeling a bit defeated at the mo, the tips out there, particularly for your site, have been a very useful support/tool though. So thanks again you always give good food for thought. Need to grow things and I'm not sure how to at the mo especially when things seem so numbers driven.

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    1. Hi hon (I don't know you're name?!!), I was wondering how often you've reached out to someone? Bloggers email me all the time, and while I sometimes take quite a long time to respond due to being busy I always help... I've never been rebuffed when I've done the same. You never stop learning so as I said to Nancy above I will ALWAYS need support - by connecting with other bloggers I've learnt so much and my blog is constantly improving as a result.

      You asked how to grow things - start by telling them your name, it's so important to make you seem more like a person and not just a blog! It's very hard to get to know people when they don't, and if you don't leave a link to your blog people won't ever be able to connect with you...! Think of blogging as a party - you've got to mingle and network :)) xx

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  3. I've always found everyone helpful and made some great blogging friends along the way. I can't thank you enough Catherine for the help that you have given me in the past x
    www.vanityandmestyle.com

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  4. I get great support from the blogging community, and especially from the Over 40 Collective. There are plenty of bigger bloggers who I've tried to interact with who just brush me off, or never answer a comment or tweet. I don't take it personally, I just know that they are not part of my 'tribe' online.

    I believe that how you act in one place is how you act everywhere, so if they're not terribly kind and friendly on their blogs or social media, they most likely aren't in real life either, so I don't need to spend a lot of my time on them!

    You've always been so supportive, Catherine. Even before I knew you, I learned so much about photography and blogging from your blog, and I'm so grateful to you. xx

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  5. I so agree with you about support, you know well, because your door is always open for me with warm and kindness. I must also say that all the bloggers I met in person were much better than on internet, and have become friends in the distance.I have a younger blogger friend thouigh who told me about the "divas" treating her badly.
    Great post and gfreat job, dear Cathering

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  6. Very interesting post Catherine. I have not experienced any negativity since I started blogging about two and half years ago. As a matter of fact it has been a beautiful journey as I have met so many beautiful and helpful people most in our age bracket 40+. I believe that you get what you give, I do not take online interactions personally as I do not know what is going on in that person's life at that moment and I am so guilty of neglecting some of my social network accounts for weeks without responding when I am tied up with other things. Thanks for all your helpful tips on this blog and a big shout out to Sacramento who is so helpful, she is like the godmother of 40+ bloggers. Hope you have a lovely week. xo

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  7. Hi Catherine
    Not a blogger but read your blog and all your over 40 collective colleagues blogs (and love them all). Your comments are very interesting but I think its an age thing, we become calmer and wiser in some ways and let go of the ego driven life some younger women follow! I experienced the type of negativity you speak about amongst some 20 - 30 yr olds some years ago whilst being an employer and was very shocked how cruel they could be to others and to each other even though I tried to create a calm, happy workplace! I find it sad that women aren't totally supportive of each other all the time!

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  8. Great post Catherine. My blog is pretty small. It's my retirement "project." As a retired English and Creative writing teacher the only thing I knew before I started was about writing. I've learned so much about blogging in the past two and a half years... about photography...and all the computer tech stuff. Your blog has been really helpful. I have followed you for a long time now and always, always apply the blogger and tech tips you recommend... thinking how generous it is for you to take time to write a post to help other bloggers. I've also made on-line friends with a few other bloggers...and even some of my readers. And that's been wonderful.
    By the way...thanks for providing such a positive voice on the internet and for being such a great role model for other bloggers.. like me:)

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  9. I think the 40+ blogging community is full of "clicks" just like we had in high school. Within a "click" if you are part of it the support you get is wonderful. Outside of the group? Not-so-great and sometimes downright mean and ignorant. It always shocks me when other women would rather tear each other down no matter their age.

    Suzanne

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  11. When I started my blog three years ago, I was going through a rough time in my life. I was in my early fifties and really feeling old and lost. I reached out to Adrienne of The Rich Life in Wine country and she was amazing. She made me feel better about myself and encouraged me to blog. I will never forget how kind she was to a stranger. Over time, I have found most bloggers are very kind and supportive. And my readers are just the kindest people ever.
    Recently, however, I got a surprise I wasn’t expecting. A group of four bloggers in their forties invited me to be a guest blogger on their blogs for a group thing they do once a month. I was excited about the post and went right to work on the theme they gave me. I took the pictures and was working on a draft post to send tot them but before I could even send it, they contacted me and told me that their blogs were geared towards women in the 40s and they noticed from my blog that I was in my 50s so they would have to go with someone else.
    I bowed out gracefully and told them it was ok trying to not make them feel bad. But it really made me feel bad for a few days. I felt old and sad that for the first time in my life I was told I was too old to participate in something. And I was told this by women, less than ten years younger than me. Was I that old looking, worthless in some way? Did they really only want 40 something’s to read their blogs. I was hurt and confused. The experience opened my eyes a little. Anyway, it's over now, life goes on and I keep doing what I love by blogging about my personal style and life.
    I have thanked you before and I want to thank you again for the many times you have provided me and so many other bloggers amazing information about blogging and ways to improve. You are a great example for us bloggers!
    Peace! Cheryl Tucker

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    1. Hi Cheryl,
      I also have found Adrienne at Rich Life to be very kind. Hard to believe that someone would invite you t be part of a blog group and then renege on the invite. I would have been hurt bu that as well. And angry. In fact I'm angry on your behalf right now:)

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    2. Oh, Cheryl...that made me sad :o(.
      Yeah we want you.... oh, no we don't...sorry.
      Like a kick in the teeth.

      What is your blog's URL so I can pop over for a look and spread some blog-love. XXX
      Samantha

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    3. Here is Cheryl's blog, I googled her! http://www.northwestmountainliving.com xx

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    4. Hi Cheryl,

      That was rude and thoughtless of them and I hope it hasn't stopped you blogging. They should at least have published your post that you put such a lot into and were so excited about doing. Emerald x.

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    5. Such childish behaviour from women in their 40's & although hurtful, really not worth worrying about!
      I'm sad to think of you feeling alienated like that Cheryl but so relieved that you have moved on. I don't suppose they realised what they were doing at the time (as unbelievable as that is) would upset you although that's no excuse at all. Hopefully they'll see this & apologise to you.
      I'll also pop over to your blog xxx

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  12. I think the blogging community is just a reflection of real life... a bit like school!

    Some women gather in cliques, and bitch.
    Some women go it alone.
    Some women support others and like to help.
    Some women tear others down, in order to feel better about themselves.
    Some women are jealous and bitter.
    Some women are happy and confident.

    Success can bring out the best, or the worst, in people.
    Success can cause some people to say "Let me show you how I did it!", "Join me!!".
    Others like to "Secret squirrel" sucessful tips away... so nobody else knows... leaving the "plebs" behind.... "Eat my dust!!".

    Blogging groups/cliques are just a natural way for human beings to behave!
    We gather in like-minded groups.

    You, with your positive outlook, have attracted others who share your mindset.
    Also, you have a loyal and supportive following.
    We love you!

    Being a nice person attracts other nice people.
    Being kind attracts kindness.
    Bitchy and nastiness is lonely and draining... at any age!

    I haven't experienced any nastiness (or maybe I just didn't notice!).
    Maybe being an 'older' blogger is easier than blogging in your 20's?
    Because the people looking at your blog are generally searching for ideas (and inspiration) not looking to see what the "competition" is up to?
    A great, thought provoking, post Catherine.
    XXX
    Samantha
    www.fakefabulous.com

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  13. I love that you wrote about this Catherine. I've had my fair share of nasty/bitchy/unsupportive bloggers. While I have had nice encounters with a few in the younger age bracket, it does seem to be very common among the younger bloggers, which I too find quite sad. Totally agree with Samantha Blair's comment! Such a great and insightful post!

    xo Miriam
    Scripts of Flair

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  14. Great post. I agree with a lot of what Suzanne wrote above. I don't think the competitiveness is reserved for the younger bloggers! Mostly I've had positive experiences with fellow bloggers of all ages but I do think some older ladies can be just as competitive and catty as the younger ones. The story that Cheryl wrote above is so awful. And I believe every word. I'm glad Cheryl didn't give up, her blog and pictures are better than ever! I always admire your site too, dear Catherine, especially when you write about these blogging issues. It's so interesting to see what everyone has to say. xx

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  15. Yes, like Suzanne said, I feel the cliques even among older bloggers, usually as a result of divergent style taste; however, I feel good vibes overall. My first inclination would be to say that blogs that are focused on monetization may be more prone to competitive territoriality, but clearly this is also not always the case either, as your blog proves.

    Definitely, there are many more 20- and 30-somethings vying for pieces of the same pie which may account for some of the nastiness. I think at this point, when the bakers are so focused on the younger market, older bloggers all benefit from banding together for everyone's success. We just want more pie in general! Hahaha. Great post.

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    1. PS The support you have given this community has been overwhelming too, Catherine, transcending style lines - especially the support that you have given me. Thank you so much!

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  16. Cheryl's comment above makes me really sad and angry. What is her blog name? I'd like to go spread some love over there!

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  17. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this [post Catherine! I'm practically archaic in the blogging world but have found many of the younger bloggers that I've met have allowed any success to go to their head. Support is too often one sided and although I have a lot of respect for some of the more successful bloggers, at the end of the day they are bloggers, not talented actors or scientists or doctors. I'm happy to hear that you have always received the support that you most definitely deserve.

    Heidi || Wishes & Reality

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  18. What an insightful post Catherine. I think you know that you were the blogging idol I contacted almost three years ago when we were in the Fever London competition. It was like meetng an idol but in the best possible way. You lead by example and are so incredibly generous with your time and your advice and it is an honour to be in your tribe! Love Liz xxx www.whatlizzyloves.com xxxx

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  19. I have never directly experienced anything but kindness and support from other bloggers. In fact, some of the women I now consider my closest friends are people I met through our blogs! And it's so true what you say about helping each other...it helps us all!

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  20. What an excellent read Catherine!! Unfotunately I have experienced the negativity mentioned, and I am well into my 30s...Initially I assumed that perhaps it was an isolated incident, but after attending several events I have certainly noticed a pattern....Style blogging can be a negative space, this sentiment has been echoed to me by several of my peers (20s & 30s). Nonetheless, with perseverance and persistence I believe that it can be overcome. I keep my circle of trust small and irregardless of so-called blog 'growth', I recognize what is truly valuable in my life- and it has nothing to do with blogging or the people associated with it.
    XO

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    1. Joi, this makes me so sad that you have had negative experiences with a younger generation of women. I think you are absolutely fabulous! I am on a serious mission to #SpreadTheKindness especially in places where negativity and cruelty seem to rule. I am definitely #agirlonamission to win this battle against nastiness! So for what it is worth...you are a rock star in my book. Just keep being your fabulous, beautiful, kind self!

      Shelbee
      www.shelbeeontheedge.com

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  21. What a great post, Catherine! I have had such a great experience in my year of blogging. So many amazing bloggers, including yourself, have been so helpful and easy to connect with when I have reached out for help. Any time I have emailed another blogger for advice, the response has been quick, thoughtful, and super helpful. I have not experienced any bitchiness whatsoever! I also have interacted with quite a few younger bloggers (virtually, as I have not yet met any of my blogger friends in real life) and I have found them all very kind-hearted and supportive as well. I suppose as the older generation of women in the blogging world, it really is our responsibility to set the example for the younger ladies and pass on those lessons of kindness and support that our mothers and other female examples have set for us! I cannot stress enough how important mutual respect, camaraderie, and general kindness is in the world in general. People need other people and kindness will always win! #SpreadTheKindness

    Shelbee
    www.shelbeeontheedge.com

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  22. Well I am not 40+ ... I'm 29 and have met many wonderful bloggers who are my age and younger. When I was preparing for my big move to Spain, I knew I would be way too busy to blog that first week there. So I e-mailed about 7 different bloggers of all different ages to see if any would want to help me out by guest posting ... and I got a response from every single one. Even the ones who could not help because they too were busy during that time at least responded to me nicely and told me they'd be willing to guest post at another time.

    I have found that yes, all the 40+ bloggers I've met are so nice. And well while I'm sure some selfish ones do exist, I do not choose to interact with those types of bloggers. We're all in this together, after all.

    Nina
    aworldofdresses.com

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  23. Such an interesting topic and I agree about the age difference. The over 40 blogger community has been nothing but wonderful! I don't know how younger bloggers treat other young bloggers, but they usually treat me one of two ways: very nice or dismissive. I don't take the dismissiveness personally. It's like they can't even possibly imagine being 50 years old. I was probably the same way at 25. ;)

    OXOX
    Dawn Lucy
    http://fashionshouldbefun.com

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  24. I'm an over 40 blogger in the vintage and sewing blogging worlds and every single blogger I've come across in these spheres has been nothing but supportive. There are many (and I mean many!) that are much younger than me but they're all really lovely. Everyone seems to share things they've found on other like-minded bloggers' sites, and giving advise on all sorts of things, therefore spreading the love even further.
    I'm always surprised when I see things like this but then I remember what girls were like when I was growing up and I can well imagine this cattiness transferring into the younger blogging world. It's such a shame that women do this to each other. When will we all learn that women are the best people in the world to lean on and build each other up, and that being nasty to each other just allows things like the media and demeaning brands win.

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  25. This is seriously one of the best blog posts I've read... ever! I find it hard to believe that some bloggers are bitches because all the ones I've dealt with have been nothing short of wonderful. I guess I'm incredibly lucky to be one of the 40+ gang! :D
    Suzy xx
    www.suzyturner.com

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  26. What an interesting read! Thank you for this eye-opening post. Thank you for your voice. I just started my blog earlier this year and thus far I have been connected with the most supportive and lovely woman! Blogging can be so lonely sometimes and it is so important to have that human connection when a fellow blogger reaches out and we develop a friendship! I want to be that kind of female. Thank you for this post!
    xo Debbie | www.tothineownstylebetrue.com

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  27. I think you're absolutely right about older women not being bothered about the playground politics. Being a bit older gives you perspective. It can also make you more fearless. Lisa makes a good point about some of the big bloggers. I found the same - they just don't interact, so fine, not my kind of blogger. You have always been very supportive and approachable, which is very much appreciated xxx

    Emma
    www.style-splash.com

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  28. I think you're absolutely right about older women not being bothered about the playground politics. Being a bit older gives you perspective. It can also make you more fearless. Lisa makes a good point about some of the big bloggers. I found the same - they just don't interact, so fine, not my kind of blogger. You have always been very supportive and approachable, which is very much appreciated xxx

    Emma
    www.style-splash.com

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  29. Thank you for sharing your experience Catherine. To be honest it took me some time to find the courage to contact you with a blogging question. And I cannot thank you enough for helping me out.

    Personally, I have found a lot of support on an international level with my fellow American or British bloggers less in Germany though. Not to say none just less. And I have had my share of jealousy and spitefulness. As simply as that. Full of envy. On the other hand, there have been wonderful bloggers like you or Annette-at the beginnging-.
    So it has not been younger women. Negative attitudes can be found at any age. And why should women be any better than the rest of humankind? :)Also I do not expect to be supported by another person just because we share the same gender. It takes more than that...I guess.

    However, interaction amongst bloggers are so helpful just to share because like Debbie said it can get lonely sometimes.

    I met a famous German blogger at fashion week last year and she has been really kind in answering some of my questions. But its more like an exception to the rule.

    Personally I am interested in people not age. I quit a blogger forum a month ago because I felt suffocated by the lack of inspiration and jealousy. Have never felt so exhilarated after having made a decision. Thank you again for being you! And all the best Catherine! xo Sabina

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  30. Very interesting. I think that a lot of bloggers are wracked with self-doubt, making them paranoid and insecure and, maybe bitchy. I've only been blogging since January and haven't come across this at all. I'm an over 45 blogger and have found younger bloggers welcoming, supportive and always happy to help an older technophobe. An excellent post, with plenty of research and content. Thank you for sharing. Alison x #brilliantblogposts

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  32. I cannot imagine the faces of your young fellow Paris travelling bloggers when you said you found the 40+community supportive. Haha, that must have been a strange sight for you.
    I agree, I haven't met any single one yet who wasn't supportive, quick in rep,ies, generous in sharing. As you and your troopers are.
    You get what you give is my motto.
    Greetje

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  33. Such an interesting read Catherine. I've been reading and linking up for some time and think you share some great advice (both in style and life) to both young and old. I've been lucky to say I haven't had any bitchy experiences either. I've had bloggers who seemed friendly through their youtube/blog 'persona' only to ignore or brush me off, but I wouldn't call that bitchy - It's just the way it is sometimes.

    I've been thankful for the blogging friends I have made. I've found the Australian blogging community really great and am lucky to be a part of it :)

    Sammy | Bargainbaglady.com X

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